Being Neighborly

May 21, 2004 11:02 AM

How to make an asshole neighbor feel he was an ass? I’ve tried being nice to him too but it goes nowhere.

Seriously looking for a closure. Long story short down; down stairs neighbor went around me causing the problem. By not informing me and helping us find the leak together he Instead complained to the association board to fix it. Sticking me with a $200.00 bill because I’m the responsible party here. Add the fix was re-sealing the toilet, a ten $ part to its drain pipe. Which the plumber found odd as I was not doing it because it was a quick and easy fix saving me money. Then too the fact because I’m not a plumber, the law forbids me dong the work, in his mind.

posted by thomcatspike to human relations (22 comments total)

Quick and easy is not enough. What's the long story?
posted by Mo Nickels at 11:13 AM on May 21, 2004

What resulted today was something I have been trying to prevent by being neighborly to him all a long.

Sorry about not having the facts better stated. Been up since 5am working with the plumbers and now trying to figure out how to pay a bill quickly before a lien will be put on my home(the association loves lawyers)
He won't work with me as a neighbor and have many tales. Feeling it's his home and his hard earned money that pays for it, so everyone else but him is accountable when a problem arises.

When his cable wires needed to be taken out of my closet and re-routed through his walls instead. He gave the cable carrier permission to enter my residence w/o out informing me. When I asked him about it, left me the # for me to set up his business with the cable company and said it was my problem not his. On top of it, they thought I was his renter when they came and tried bullying there way in, as they thought they had the owner's permission. Once the cable company found out the real story, they were glad I had not allowed their entrance for legal issues. The wires were finally removed when I cut them my self.

this stuff seems petty but I have gone out of my way saying: "your problems are ours, since we share walls and a floor, please don't hesitate letting me know."
posted by thomcatspike at 12:00 PM on May 21, 2004

You might have some luck with small claims court to recover your money, but you run the risk of antagonizing him further, of course.
posted by kindall at 12:10 PM on May 21, 2004

Move.

Move now.

Seriously, people like this are simply not going to change, no matter what you do. Unless you're willing to get lawyers involved you'd be better off moving.
posted by bshort at 12:12 PM on May 21, 2004

How about:

"Geez, dude, you could have told me and I would have fixed it easily myself and it would have saved me 200+ bucks! What are ya, an asshole?"
posted by Shane at 12:13 PM on May 21, 2004

if I'm understanding this correctly -- your toilet leaked, causing damage to the downstairs neighbor's apartment, so you had to pay to get it fixed?

I'm kind of siding with the neighbor on this one, to be honest. Sure, in hindsight it's easy to say a ten dollar part would've fixed it, but how long would it have taken you to figure that out?
posted by ook at 12:15 PM on May 21, 2004

Shane, Then too the fact because I’m not a plumber, the law forbids me dong the work, in his mind.

ook, the whole complex(older women, gossip) knew about it but me. W we pass each other several times a week.
posted by thomcatspike at 12:20 PM on May 21, 2004

dong=doing
Funny as dung was what was leaking when the toilet was flushed twice or more consecutively. It became noticeable for him when I would have guests over.
posted by thomcatspike at 12:26 PM on May 21, 2004

I'm confused now. Should he (they?) have let you fix it or now? I don't know. Rod doesn't know. Fred doesn't know (and I never liked him; he's too clean cut and wholesome to be travelling around with Shaggy in a VW bus). Schultz knows nuttink. People generally suck. All the time. Maybe drink a beer or something. Sorry for your bad luck.
posted by Shane at 12:36 PM on May 21, 2004

dung was what was leaking

Now I'm really siding with the neighbor. How could you not notice that on your own?

Yeah, it would've been better if he had talked to you directly to get it fixed, instead of going to the housing association. But you two obviously already have a history, so rather than get into it with you, he chose to let the board deal with it. In his place, I probably would've done the same thing.

In any case, trying to make him feel like an asshole is not going to help; it's just going to make the next situation even more adversarial. Suck it up, pay the bill, and politely ask him to talk to you directly next time there's a problem. It might not help, but getting pissy about it definitely won't.
posted by ook at 12:39 PM on May 21, 2004

What ook said...just tell him, "Next time anything happens please contact me first...my numbers are ....., and you can reach me anytime."
posted by amberglow at 12:43 PM on May 21, 2004

I think Fred was a narc, he was just too dense to ever catch Shaggy with the goods. People suck. You'll get over it, although it sucks seeing these people in your apartment. Don't let it ruin your weekend. Have sex or something.
posted by Shane at 12:49 PM on May 21, 2004

I'm with amberglow and ook. As a fellow condo owner, I feel your pain, but trying to make him feel like an asshole will only cause more problems down the line.

He probably felt like this was payback for the cable issue. But rather than going tit for tat, be the bigger man and deal with it gracefully. Your opportunity to screw him with the association's help will most likely come soon enough.
posted by me3dia at 1:08 PM on May 21, 2004

Thanks all...so you know paying the bill was not the biggest issue here other than not having the money. The way it was handled was. Felt there was not much for me to do here than being the maturer person. Why I didn't ask: how to get revenge. Will have to agree with your comments all.

Heh, on the bright side; the plumber took pity on me and fixed a few minor things for me, free of charge. And the dung was not noticeable by him, looked like water.
posted by thomcatspike at 1:18 PM on May 21, 2004

Now that we've got that resolved, does thomcatspike's writing style remind anyone else of Rorschach in Watchmen? Should I be worried?
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 1:35 PM on May 21, 2004

I'm not personally familiar with HOA's, but couldn't you also get them on your side? So, the next time this guy gets up in arms about something, they could say "Hey, rather than us call a $200 plumber, let's go talk to thomcatspike and see if we can't get this settled with ten bucks and a little elbow grease." Surely not all of the neighbors in the HOA are a**holes? I mean, you're also in the HOA, they have a dual responsibility, to you as well as your neighbor, don't they?
posted by vignettist at 1:53 PM on May 21, 2004

Now that we've got that resolved, does thomcatspike's writing style remind anyone else of Rorschach in Watchmen? Should I be worried?

Relevent (approximate) quote:

Rorschach is beset by thugs in a prison cell. He breaks his toilet bowl, flooding the floor with water, and pulls electrical wiring from the bare bulb overhead, using it to electrocute his assailants (as he stands safe on the toilet above the floor.)

"Hmph. Never thought of disposing of waste with toilet before."

(This from memory, so I hope I got it right.)

*in Rorschach voice*:
Thomcat, perhaps is good revenge idea for apartment cohabitants?
posted by Shane at 1:54 PM on May 21, 2004

couldn't you kidnap him and dress him up in a great big asshole suit (a bit like the giant peach in james and the giant peach, but with less peachiness and more assholiness)? then leave him in the middle of the high-street. with an "i'm an asshole" sign hanging from a suitable asshair.
posted by andrew cooke at 3:04 PM on May 21, 2004

thomcat, you have mail
posted by matteo at 3:07 PM on May 21, 2004

Boy! if I had little to laugh at this morning, I have plenty now.
posted by thomcatspike at 3:20 PM on May 21, 2004

That Watchmen quote was awesome mate.

Gonna go buy it now.
posted by Frasermoo at 5:49 PM on May 21, 2004

Depending on your point of view, Rorschach is either a hero or a psychopath. Or, to put it into words that thomcatspike would understand:

Rorschac hero psychopath is, either smooth or rough. Or is it the maaaaask.
posted by interrobang at 2:02 AM on May 22, 2004