Poor form costumes

October 15, 2007 9:50 AM

I need ideas for an offensive halloween costume

Granted, there have been a number of askme's on halloween costumes, but I'm looking for something offensive, and these often depend on current events. Last year I went as a dying Steve Irwin, and I'd like to continue the poor-taste trend.

So far, I've got abortion doctor and suicide bomber. Other ideas?

posted by craven_morhead to human relations (80 comments total)

Oh, and bonus points for things that can be done on the cheap.
posted by craven_morhead at 9:52 AM on October 15, 2007

Go as a Fat Inspector. Wear some sort of official garment (like a labcoat and carry calipers or a measuring tape that you can use to inspect people's fat. Also, a clipboard, and after meeting or talking to someone, write down their name and check off a box next to it marked "FAT".

Or, go as one of the WTC towers, with a model airplane embedded in a hat or wig.
posted by hermitosis at 9:57 AM on October 15, 2007

Child molestor. Big moustache, 70's clothes. Try to lure people back to your van with candy all night.
posted by chrisamiller at 9:58 AM on October 15, 2007

I, for one, am going to go as the missing closing parenthesis from my last comment. Which hopefully only will offend me.
posted by hermitosis at 9:59 AM on October 15, 2007 [4 favorites has favorites]

Go as an abortion. Now that's f*ckin sick.

I might be going as "suicide" this year, with various methods attached to my body.
posted by nursegracer at 9:59 AM on October 15, 2007

I'm going to alter one of the cutest ideas I've ever seen which was a mom used cardboard boxes to make herself a costume of the Empire State Building and she dressed her baby in a little gorilla costume. So when she held the baby it looked like King Kong was climbing up.

Instead you can dress up as a Twin Tower and have a baby dress up as a plane. If anyone asks about the other Tower, you can say it already fell.

That or Ann Coulter.
posted by spec80 at 9:59 AM on October 15, 2007 [2 favorites has favorites]

hermitosis beat me to it!
posted by spec80 at 10:00 AM on October 15, 2007

I think the most topical and offensive story of the past year would probably be the Michael Vick saga. Dress up as an Atlanta Falcon and carry around a stuffed dog on a noose. Guaranteed to shock. Go get 'em, tiger!
posted by one_bean at 10:02 AM on October 15, 2007

Tom Cruise.
posted by Stynxno at 10:08 AM on October 15, 2007

Seconding Michael Vick. Unless you can find a local event that would have even more recent impact.
posted by Lentrohamsanin at 10:09 AM on October 15, 2007

I think a Nazi is timeless.
posted by 6550 at 10:11 AM on October 15, 2007 [3 favorites has favorites]

How about a phony soldier?
posted by Max Power at 10:12 AM on October 15, 2007

Thirding Vick. Bonus points if you go in blackface.
posted by saladin at 10:13 AM on October 15, 2007

If you go with the child molester costume, you could make a t-shirt that says, "I friended your under-age daughter on MySpace!"
posted by fallenposters at 10:13 AM on October 15, 2007 [1 favorite has favorites]

Timothy Treadwell might be fun.
posted by iconomy at 10:15 AM on October 15, 2007

Hmmm, I like Vick.

I'm also at law school, if that colors things a little better.
posted by craven_morhead at 10:17 AM on October 15, 2007

I think a Nazi is timeless.

Ditto KKK ... also very cheap.
posted by Koko at 10:17 AM on October 15, 2007

Are you male or female?


Brittany Spears.

Arab with sniper rifle and many dogtags around your neck.

IED.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 10:18 AM on October 15, 2007

Male, but I'm willing to go in drag.
posted by craven_morhead at 10:20 AM on October 15, 2007

Nazi. Klansman. Blackface.
posted by croutonsupafreak at 10:27 AM on October 15, 2007

Here's what I was going to do, but AFAIK we're not going to the relevant party:

(1) Khaki shorts
(2) Khaki shirt with liberal amounts of red food coloring or dye splashed onto the front. Don't be shy with it.
(3) Floppy stingray dog toy.

Loosely sew the stingray to the shirt's chest and say CRIKEY and AWW WOT A BEAUT! a lot.

Also, I would have had a little sign that read "TOO SOON?"
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 10:29 AM on October 15, 2007

KKK member. Blackface, put foil on your teeth, and then dress in outrageous hip-hop clothing and hit on white women all night. Child molester--make sure you carry a baby doll or one of those child-size dolls so you can fondle it periodically. Skinhead and/or Nazi. Dress up like an American soldier and carry around a brown baby doll painted with fake blood and its skull cracked open, add a turban to the doll for that extra shock touch!

I don't recommend using any of these ideas, but they're golden if you're simply aiming to be in poor taste and don't care whether someone is punching you in the gut.
posted by schroedinger at 10:29 AM on October 15, 2007

Whoops, most of my ideas have been taken!
posted by schroedinger at 10:31 AM on October 15, 2007

I was at a party a couple years ago where a man was dressed as a priest... with a little boy doll, um, attached to him in a more improprietous way.
posted by letahl at 10:32 AM on October 15, 2007

I was considering wearing a Burka this year. It would be cheap to make. Is this offensive?
posted by trbrts at 10:35 AM on October 15, 2007

Owen Wilson, slashed wrists and all.
posted by whoaali at 10:35 AM on October 15, 2007

one year i dressed up in an edwardian dress, painted my face blue, and wore a lifesaver around my waist embossed "hms titanic"

oh yeah, the theme was "under the sea."

you could dress up as the president. he offends a lot of people.
posted by thinkingwoman at 10:36 AM on October 15, 2007

Years ago, I had a waiter in a pub who was dressed as a bag of piss.

Big, clear bag covering most of torso (white shirt, black pants; nothing exciting clothes-wise); a bunch of plastic medical-looking clear tubing. Big bag full of...piss? Apple juice? He wouldn't say.

It made my night...
posted by kmennie at 10:38 AM on October 15, 2007 [1 favorite has favorites]

If you are willing to go in drag, I went as Angelina Jolie last year and got a bunch of different colored baby dolls at the dollar store and tied them all over me. It offended some people. Lots of lipstick, big sunglasses.

I think the Michael Vick idea is the most shocking of all the ones listed above.
posted by frumious bandersnatch at 10:38 AM on October 15, 2007

pretty tame:

Dress up as the president (easy, find a mask and wear a suit and GOP pin), and carry a doll dressed up like an oil sheik on your back.

substitute televangelist with a devil on his back.


dress up as a rapper: one hand cuffed, one holding a music award.T-shirt should say: Gangsta' 4eva'
posted by spacefire at 10:44 AM on October 15, 2007

ROU_Xenophobe: He says in his post that he went as Steve Irwin last year.
posted by lizzicide at 10:46 AM on October 15, 2007

Use makeup to paint your face a dark brown, stick corn kernels to you face in random spots, and wear a toilet seat around your neck.
posted by Oriole Adams at 10:50 AM on October 15, 2007 [1 favorite has favorites]

If you could pull off this one I'd be impressed.
posted by whoaali at 10:52 AM on October 15, 2007 [4 favorites has favorites]

Larry Craig: suit, with the pants (and white grandpa boxers) down 'round your ankles*; glasses; bald head thingy; walk around with a wide-stance and do little tap-dance routines throughout the evening.

* bit-concealing pantyhose optional
posted by and hosted from Uranus at 10:55 AM on October 15, 2007

One year I went as Jackie Kennedy in Dallas: pink suit, pillbox hat, gloves, sunglasses, several tubes of fake blood splattered across me in manner of presidential brains.

One year I was Courtney Love and my sister was Kurt Cobain, with a very elaborately gored-up face and a prop shotgun.
posted by padraigin at 10:58 AM on October 15, 2007 [1 favorite has favorites]

Cheesehead.
Cartoon Bullet holes in the cheese and Packers shirt, ketchup applied liberally.
posted by Jakey at 11:00 AM on October 15, 2007

In fact, I guess the official name would be Swisscheesehead
posted by Jakey at 11:01 AM on October 15, 2007

Pull a TIME. Wear a big mirror - when people ask what you're dressed as, tell them that you were trying to keep up with a history of really tasteless costumes, so decided to go as the most disgusting, offensive, odious person you know. When they ask "And who is it?" stand right before them, point, and say "You."
posted by robocop is bleeding at 11:01 AM on October 15, 2007 [4 favorites has favorites]

Wear a very nice suit.

Wear a nametag that says, "Ask me about Amway!"
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 11:02 AM on October 15, 2007

Rent a tux and go blackface ... Don't forget the white gloves and the nappy wig.

If you want to go all out, wear a Hitler costume underneath a KKK outfit and do it in blackface.
posted by Dillenger69 at 11:04 AM on October 15, 2007

My costume is not THAT offensive, but I will be going as an Indian: Dot AND Feather. Simultaneously.
posted by nineRED at 11:04 AM on October 15, 2007

Is it too late to go as the Abu Ghraib guy balanced on a box? Because you could do him combined with Jesus -- just add bloody nail holes to your hands and feet -- and a Klansman if you make the hood right. Add a Hitler mustache for good measure. When things get quiet, spout famous lines from great speeches -- "Ich bin ein Berliner!" and "I have a dream..." and "Four score and seven years ago..." and so on -- but say them like you're Hitler.

And if that doesn't work, shit on the dance floor.
posted by pracowity at 11:06 AM on October 15, 2007

Get a ripped up prom gown from the goodwill, slather yourself in blood, balance a tiara on your head and voila! You're JonBenet Ramsey!!
posted by bonheur at 11:08 AM on October 15, 2007

Recently dead people always seem to be the way to go when you're shooting for tasteless.
Recent celebrity deaths that have comedic potential:
Marcel Marceau
Tammy Faye Messner (Bakker) (my personal favorite)
Chris Benoit
posted by The Esteemed Doctor Bunsen Honeydew at 11:12 AM on October 15, 2007 [1 favorite has favorites]

Terri Schiavo. Get a gurney and have someone push you around. Make sure there is a balloon tied to your bedpost. Look at it occasionally, then look away--remember, it's just reflexive.

Valium would go well with this costume, and the potential for friends to participate abounds: the doctor, the husband, the parents, etc.
posted by dead_ at 11:16 AM on October 15, 2007

Princess Di, post-crash.
posted by lizzicide at 11:17 AM on October 15, 2007

I was at a party a couple years ago where a man was dressed as a priest... with a little boy doll, um, attached to him in a more improprietous way.
posted by letahl

I was at the same party too. Was this in Davis? The Ecology party? Steve is this you?
posted by special-k at 11:21 AM on October 15, 2007

Yes, in the states anyway, anything having to do with race or obesity is pretty sure-fire offensive.
posted by small_ruminant at 11:22 AM on October 15, 2007

Last year I saw someone dressed up as "Slain Amish Schoolgirl." It was pretty simple: just a little house on the praire dress and a white bonnet with a red bullet hole in the back. But quite offensive, given that it was just three weeks after the horrendous thing happened.
posted by footnote at 11:25 AM on October 15, 2007

Marcel Marceau. Black and white outfit, as french and mimey as possible, whiteface makeup, big black Xs over your eyes.

(I went as Syliva Plath one year. Oven on head.)
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 11:25 AM on October 15, 2007

Was at a party once where a guy had on a shower curtain rod with a giant blue tarp hanging down from it. He was also covered in moss and sticks and had toy animals, people, boats and cars glued all over the place. He was really drunk and screaming alot all the while spraying other partygoers with a giant spray bottle.

He was Hurricane Katrina.
posted by inqb8tr at 11:26 AM on October 15, 2007 [10 favorites has favorites]

I was at a party a couple years ago where a man was dressed as a priest... with a little boy doll, um, attached to him in a more improprietous way.
posted by letahl

I was at the same party too. Was this in Davis? The Ecology party? Steve is this you?

No, it was in Vermont. Hah. Two sickos in the same country. Imagine that. :)
posted by letahl at 11:35 AM on October 15, 2007

Virginia Tech shooting victim.

Simple, offensive and incredibly cheap: buy a VT hooded sweatshirt and pour some ketchup on it. And on your face, too.
posted by dead_ at 11:43 AM on October 15, 2007

Universally offensive: carry a bag of dead baby dolls, skewer some on a pitchfork, wear a necklace of their heads, etc.
posted by casarkos at 11:45 AM on October 15, 2007

I submit to you, the jewnicorn. Pretty self-explanatory, no?
posted by Unicorn on the cob at 11:58 AM on October 15, 2007

Dress as a computer monitor, using a big painted cardboard box. This monitor will display a browser window with an empty webpage with one link that says "click me".

If someone clicks the link with their finger you have to somehow swap that image of the empty page with the infamous goatse pic.

Some people find that offensive. And its quite cheap.
posted by edmz at 11:59 AM on October 15, 2007

Larry Craig: Suit, tap shoes, toilet paper stuck to shoe.

Marcel Marceau: Mime outfit, blue instead of white face makeup, get stuck in a glass box and suffocate.

One of my friends went to a party as Dorothy/Judy Garland: Dorothy costume with "crazy" lipstick and a basket full of booze and pills.
posted by Pollomacho at 12:04 PM on October 15, 2007

Dick in a Box
posted by LordSludge at 12:37 PM on October 15, 2007 [2 favorites has favorites]

A friend of mine did the Steve Irwin thing last year and almost got into a barfight over it, so that seems to work pretty well as far as offending people goes.
Incidentally, my friend is Australian, and the guy who got mad at him was American.
posted by naoko at 12:38 PM on October 15, 2007

I'm going to second the Owen Wilson idea. The longer ago something happened, the less offensive it will seem to people. Plus, he's got that new movie coming out, and it'll be really easy to throw on some facial bandages and have everyone know who you are.

If you want to double-up on the offensiveness of a costume that is basically a racial stereotype, have a "Hi My Name Is" sticker that says you're someone who is so totally removed from that stereotype. Like dress up like a thugged out Durrty South gangsta, but tell everyone you're Barack Obama.
posted by 23skidoo at 12:49 PM on October 15, 2007

the chris benoit idea is pretty offensive

are you in the states? what about ahmadinejad? or dress as a gay iranian who doesn't exist
posted by citron at 1:04 PM on October 15, 2007

I can't believe pregnant nun hasn't been mentioned yet. Totally offensive.
posted by chump at 1:08 PM on October 15, 2007

The Leave Britney Alone guy! Wait, that's not offensive, that's just annoying.

Worker clothes, a frown, a paintbrus, and a big jar that says lead paint: Chinese factory worker. Add a hat for extra offensiveness.

Somehow dress as a drowning polar bear? Maybe with an inner tube? Political.
posted by ALongDecember at 1:40 PM on October 15, 2007

Simple, offensive and incredibly cheap: buy a VT hooded sweatshirt and pour some ketchup on it. And on your face, too.

Dressing as Cho would be more offensive than as one of the victims, though I'm not sure how you'd convey it. If I wanted an offensive victim costume I'd dress like a giant lampshade with a yellow six-pointed star pinned to it, maybe write a serial number down on the lower edge.

Rather than the priest with the attached baby, you could dress as a schoolboy (should be cheap-ish) and attach a stuffed priest's arm that looks like it's wrapping around your body and sticking down your pants. Strap a head with the collar on it to your back/neck (like it's giving you a hickey) if you want to get more complicated. Or even a whole mannequin (priestequin?) to your back if you're a glutton for punishment.
posted by phearlez at 1:42 PM on October 15, 2007

My sister went to a poor taste party where there was someone dressed as the WTC complete with little people jumping. Apparently they were on string so they could be pulled back up to leap off all over again.
posted by Helga-woo at 1:47 PM on October 15, 2007 [1 favorite has favorites]

For Halloween 2004 I brought up dressing as Zombie Christopher Reeve to some friends and thoroughly disgusted them all. Granted, he had passed away that same month, and some people take their heroes very seriously, but perhaps enough time has passed for you to get away with it now.

Basic costs may include a wheel chair, cheap ragged suit, black glasses, zombie makeup, superman shirt, and some plastic tubing.
posted by sambosambo at 1:59 PM on October 15, 2007

Someone I know went as the US/Mexico border wall. Take a large piece of chicken wire and affix several Dora the Explorer dolls climbing up it.
posted by rmless at 2:12 PM on October 15, 2007 [2 favorites has favorites]

Dress up as christ on the cross, with a priest's head attached to your crotch.
posted by nomisxid at 2:18 PM on October 15, 2007 [1 favorite has favorites]

Dress up as the prophet Muhammed.
posted by Aloysius Bear at 2:48 PM on October 15, 2007 [1 favorite has favorites]

I once dressed as a blow-up fuck doll, made a mask out of the plastic face with the wide-open mouth. My girlfriend actually cut hers up and put it on as a suit, but mine wouldn't fit so I just wore a pink leotard and a big strap-on. Get the cheapest dolls you can for best camp effect. I think we spent less than $30 each. I don't remember if I actually got laid that night...
posted by maniabug at 3:02 PM on October 15, 2007

Go as Benedict XVI ... wearing Stormtrooper boots beneath your cassock.
posted by rob511 at 3:07 PM on October 15, 2007

+1 Vick.

Daniel Pearl? Classic "severed head" costume + journalist gear. The neck seam could easily be done just with makeup.

A Blackwater mercenary? Army duds, Blackwater patch on outer shirt, ammo and weaponry, a necklace of human teeth or fingers.

A Burmese monk? Saffron robes, shaved scalp, fatal head trauma. You might get punched for this one.
posted by Netzapper at 3:45 PM on October 15, 2007

A friend of mine dressed as a suicide victim.

He painted his face and exposed flesh (hands) blue-ish, wore blue lipstick, and tied a bottle of Drain-O to twine, leaving it hang from his neck.
posted by gummi at 3:49 PM on October 15, 2007

Here's a couple:
Once, several years ago, I was downtown on halloween. I saw this guy dressed as Santa Clause. WTF? I thought...nothing spectacular there. (I was behind him.) Then this cop comes up the street and pulls over, starts to get out. Then he stops, shakes his head, and gets back in the car. True story. WTF? I'm thinking, it's santa, stupid. Then the guy turns around. He was wearing an 18" black veiny strapon, with the cock sticking out of his zipper. I see that as the most badass costume ever.

Secondly, the one where you go as a priest, but you get kids clothes and stuff them, attaching the knees to your shoes, hands around behind you, head in your crotch, so you're totally a priest getting a hummer. That one's been seen, though.
posted by TomMelee at 6:11 PM on October 15, 2007

Since you are a guy, I think you should shave your head, wear a super-short dress and cowboy boots, carry around a bag of Cheetos and some Red Bull and go as Post-Breakdown Britney.
posted by Brittanie at 6:23 PM on October 15, 2007 [1 favorite has favorites]

Go as a stem cell. I went dressed in a red garbage bag and had broken up pieces of baby dolls stuck to it.
posted by white_devil at 8:45 PM on October 15, 2007

Dress as a Mormon, with a tie, a backpack, and a book. Witness to people.
posted by streetdreams at 11:36 PM on October 15, 2007

This is a great thread, by the way. Keep 'em coming if you've got 'em.
posted by craven_morhead at 6:54 AM on October 16, 2007

Osama Been Drinking
posted by gratuitous1 at 8:54 AM on October 16, 2007 [1 favorite has favorites]

Oh God. Too late for Robert Ghoulet?
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 8:55 PM on October 31, 2007