My Puppy Really Wants to "Go-With". Help!
October 1, 2007 7:51 AM Subscribe
I have a 6 month old puppy, who is very, very smart and generally turning into a lovely dog, except for one problem. She won't let me leave the house!
Every day we battle - me trying to get through the front door without letting the dog out, and the dog doing her best to go with me. It is a big fight, and she gets very frenzied about it. She weighs upwards of 70lbs, so I can't just pick her up and slide her behind the door. I also have to be careful that she doesn't get too frenzied because at her large size, she could hurt herself pretty easily.
Our vet says this probably isn't separation anxiety, because she is perfectly behaved once I leave. Our trainer says she will grow out of it....eventually.
We don't use a crate, and once I leave, she jumps on the couch, settles down, and snoozes happily all day. It is just that 20 minute struggle every morning that I am having problems with. This is a brand new issue - for the first few months I had her, I gave her a bone or treat to chew on just before I had to go, and she was very content to just chew on her treat and watch me leave.
I realize this is a control issue - so how do I teach my dog who is in control? She is in dog training and very responsive to commands generally, but completely loses her mind when I try to leave the house.
Every day we battle - me trying to get through the front door without letting the dog out, and the dog doing her best to go with me. It is a big fight, and she gets very frenzied about it. She weighs upwards of 70lbs, so I can't just pick her up and slide her behind the door. I also have to be careful that she doesn't get too frenzied because at her large size, she could hurt herself pretty easily.
Our vet says this probably isn't separation anxiety, because she is perfectly behaved once I leave. Our trainer says she will grow out of it....eventually.
We don't use a crate, and once I leave, she jumps on the couch, settles down, and snoozes happily all day. It is just that 20 minute struggle every morning that I am having problems with. This is a brand new issue - for the first few months I had her, I gave her a bone or treat to chew on just before I had to go, and she was very content to just chew on her treat and watch me leave.
I realize this is a control issue - so how do I teach my dog who is in control? She is in dog training and very responsive to commands generally, but completely loses her mind when I try to leave the house.
Like desjardins said, it's a sit/stay thing. You've got to work on that every day and be consistent. You'll be over it in a few weeks.
posted by kuujjuarapik at 8:03 AM on October 1, 2007
posted by kuujjuarapik at 8:03 AM on October 1, 2007
Try crating. She will hate it at first but soon will learn that it is her room when you are not around.
posted by doorsfan at 8:09 AM on October 1, 2007
posted by doorsfan at 8:09 AM on October 1, 2007
By the way, don't let the puppy's size intimidate you. I'm 95 lbs, my two dogs combined weigh as much as I do, but by keeping firm control of them, I don't let them physically overpower me. Dogs don't really understand bigger vs. smaller; they just understand who is boss, and if it's not you, they'll take over.
posted by desjardins at 8:24 AM on October 1, 2007
posted by desjardins at 8:24 AM on October 1, 2007
When I leave the house, Lyle gets a carrot (his favorite treat ever) on his bed. It works well because it occupies him for the crucial two minutes of "oh no my person is leaving!" It totally solved all of our sad leavetaking issues.
posted by judith at 8:29 AM on October 1, 2007
posted by judith at 8:29 AM on October 1, 2007
We used to have this problem. Our 110-pound Shepherd mix would try to "sneak" his way into the car whenever we left the house (as if we wouldn't notice a giant black dog in the back of the car.)
We didn't set out to train this phrase, so we might have chosen something more compact if we'd thought about it, but our dog has learned that "You're not coming" means he has to stay in the house.
In addition to the sit/stay work, which is excellent advice, we trained our dog that *every single time* we go out the door for a walk, he has to sit and wait for permission to go through the door. This only takes a few seconds on a daily basis, but cumulatively it helped enormously in a number of areas- opening the door to the UPS guy, going out to get the paper, etc.
Finally, don't make a big deal about leaving the dog. Just go. You go every day, you come back every day, no big deal. It helps not to get the dog wound up before you head out the door.
posted by ambrosia at 8:41 AM on October 1, 2007 [1 favorite]
We didn't set out to train this phrase, so we might have chosen something more compact if we'd thought about it, but our dog has learned that "You're not coming" means he has to stay in the house.
In addition to the sit/stay work, which is excellent advice, we trained our dog that *every single time* we go out the door for a walk, he has to sit and wait for permission to go through the door. This only takes a few seconds on a daily basis, but cumulatively it helped enormously in a number of areas- opening the door to the UPS guy, going out to get the paper, etc.
Finally, don't make a big deal about leaving the dog. Just go. You go every day, you come back every day, no big deal. It helps not to get the dog wound up before you head out the door.
posted by ambrosia at 8:41 AM on October 1, 2007 [1 favorite]
ambrosia's right. Don't say "goodbye" to the dog.
posted by desjardins at 8:52 AM on October 1, 2007
posted by desjardins at 8:52 AM on October 1, 2007
OTOH, my dogs have learned that when I say I'll "be right back!" they're not coming with me. They follow me to the front of the house, then stop in the hallway a couple of feet from the door and watch me leave. I think that's a variant of the sit/stay training.
posted by Robert Angelo at 9:06 AM on October 1, 2007
posted by Robert Angelo at 9:06 AM on October 1, 2007
We give our dog a treat on her bed in the bedroom before we leave the house.
It has gotten to the point (after over 4 years of this routine) that she will head to the bedroom and wait of her own accord when she sees me going through my makeup routine.
posted by misskaz at 10:08 AM on October 1, 2007
It has gotten to the point (after over 4 years of this routine) that she will head to the bedroom and wait of her own accord when she sees me going through my makeup routine.
posted by misskaz at 10:08 AM on October 1, 2007
1) Learn how to do a long sit-stay where the dog can't see you. Example: Dog stays in bedroom while you're in the kitchen.
2) Put the dog in a sit-stay and show the dog several tasty treats, but do not give the treats to the dog just yet.
3) Hide the treats in various places around the house where the dog will find them only after searching.
4) As you leave, release the sit-stay and walk out the door.
5) The dog will spend hours looking high and low for the hidden treats. Use treats that have a long chew time, or use frozen peanut butter stuffed into rubber treats.
6) Occasionally, show the dog the treats, but do not actually hide any. The dog will spend hours looking, anyway, and this throws off any search routines the dog develops over time.
7) Every day's a party!
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 10:15 AM on October 1, 2007
2) Put the dog in a sit-stay and show the dog several tasty treats, but do not give the treats to the dog just yet.
3) Hide the treats in various places around the house where the dog will find them only after searching.
4) As you leave, release the sit-stay and walk out the door.
5) The dog will spend hours looking high and low for the hidden treats. Use treats that have a long chew time, or use frozen peanut butter stuffed into rubber treats.
6) Occasionally, show the dog the treats, but do not actually hide any. The dog will spend hours looking, anyway, and this throws off any search routines the dog develops over time.
7) Every day's a party!
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 10:15 AM on October 1, 2007
If a regular treat isn't enough of a distraction, try a treat-holding toy or something like the Buster Cube. Try not to be anxious or make a big deal out of leaving. Just hand out the treat, and get your stuff and go, ignoring her.
I definitely don't use the door like a normal person anymore, after having a huge sneaky greyhound, a little sneaky beagle, and a butthead cat. I only open it as much as I have to, put my hand and bags through just ahead of my foot, and pretty much there's no point where there's a clear opening at the bottom of the door. Everybody understands "back up" to some extent, but I still block the door as much as I can coming and going.
posted by Lyn Never at 10:35 AM on October 1, 2007
I definitely don't use the door like a normal person anymore, after having a huge sneaky greyhound, a little sneaky beagle, and a butthead cat. I only open it as much as I have to, put my hand and bags through just ahead of my foot, and pretty much there's no point where there's a clear opening at the bottom of the door. Everybody understands "back up" to some extent, but I still block the door as much as I can coming and going.
posted by Lyn Never at 10:35 AM on October 1, 2007
The sit/stay training ideas are all excellent. From the very first day we got our greyhound we did the frozen-peanut-butter-in-a-kong trick and have never had a problem.
Now more than a year later I can definitely leave her without a treat, but if I'm going for more than a few minutes she always gets something. We even make a second frozen kong for the dog walker to give out when she leaves.
posted by nev at 10:44 AM on October 1, 2007
Now more than a year later I can definitely leave her without a treat, but if I'm going for more than a few minutes she always gets something. We even make a second frozen kong for the dog walker to give out when she leaves.
posted by nev at 10:44 AM on October 1, 2007
My dog used to go crazy when I left. Then I started putting peanut butter in a Kong toy for her. I make her sit and stay, and then I walk to the door and release her to have the treat as I walk out the door. She LOVES peanut butter so much, and that's the only time she gets it... only when I leave. After that, when I would get ready to go she started to actually sit on the couch and WAIT for her peanut butter. And then once she gets started licking away, she doesn't even notice if I've come or gone. She's just hypnotized by the tasty goodness.
posted by miss lynnster at 11:58 AM on October 1, 2007
posted by miss lynnster at 11:58 AM on October 1, 2007
My border collie responds better to positive requests than negative ones. Since border collies need Dog Work to be happy we couch everything we want him to do in terms of his Dog Work. For example: "you watch the place" when he's to stay home. "We watch" when a car has come up the road but its engine isn't off (he will sit and wait for a car's engine to stop before he investigates), then "Let's Go See" once the engine has stopped. For doors and gates "You help" (make sure no one drops anything on the way in, thereby making him last through, but this is automatic now).
We also try to make leave taking and returns casual. He loves to play fetch and will try to start a game as soon as anyone comes in the house, but the few minutes after arrival are held as calm as possible so arriving and leaving are just meh events instead of reasons to get excited.
posted by jet_silver at 12:15 PM on October 1, 2007
We also try to make leave taking and returns casual. He loves to play fetch and will try to start a game as soon as anyone comes in the house, but the few minutes after arrival are held as calm as possible so arriving and leaving are just meh events instead of reasons to get excited.
posted by jet_silver at 12:15 PM on October 1, 2007
OTOH, my dogs have learned that when I say I'll "be right back!" they're not coming with me.
MAI dogs TOO!!!1!! I didn't even try to teach them that; they just know from my tone of voice that I'm leaving and they ain't coming with.
These days, the only time they get excited to go with me is when I jingle their leashes. (Actually, bumping into the leashes works just as well. Sigh.)
As everyone has said, this is a basic obedience thing. Be persistent, and use positive reinforcement.
(I have to follow this advice to stop one of my dogs from jumping up on visitors. But it makes me so happy to see her so happy. Sucker I am.)
posted by iguanapolitico at 1:47 PM on October 1, 2007
MAI dogs TOO!!!1!! I didn't even try to teach them that; they just know from my tone of voice that I'm leaving and they ain't coming with.
These days, the only time they get excited to go with me is when I jingle their leashes. (Actually, bumping into the leashes works just as well. Sigh.)
As everyone has said, this is a basic obedience thing. Be persistent, and use positive reinforcement.
(I have to follow this advice to stop one of my dogs from jumping up on visitors. But it makes me so happy to see her so happy. Sucker I am.)
posted by iguanapolitico at 1:47 PM on October 1, 2007
My dog gets a Buster Cube when I leave. He only gets it when I leave, and he loves it, so it's something he looks forward to. I don't crate him, but I do lob the cube into an open crate, and he runs in excitedly and bangs it against the sides to dislodge the treats. It's a good departure ritual.
I think it's Pat Miller's book that features a cartoon in which the human says cheerfully, leaving the house: "I'll be back soon! Take care of things!" My dog's pretty sensitive to tone, and that's the attitude I try to take with him.
posted by tangerine at 2:04 PM on October 1, 2007
I think it's Pat Miller's book that features a cartoon in which the human says cheerfully, leaving the house: "I'll be back soon! Take care of things!" My dog's pretty sensitive to tone, and that's the attitude I try to take with him.
posted by tangerine at 2:04 PM on October 1, 2007
You and your dog form a pack. The alpha dog in the pack makes decisions and dominates the others. Become the alpha dog.
posted by exphysicist345 at 3:46 PM on October 1, 2007
posted by exphysicist345 at 3:46 PM on October 1, 2007
This thread is closed to new comments.
She needs a reward for being calm, and you need to not tolerate excitability. You also need to be calm yourself, or she'll pick up on your anxiety.
posted by desjardins at 7:57 AM on October 1, 2007 [2 favorites]