how to work constructively with a domineering classmate?

September 30, 2007 5:51 AM

[Shy student filter]: how to work constructively with a domineering classmate?

I am preparing for an oral presentation for an MA grad class in three weeks time.

I have been assigned a co-presenter. This person is intelligent, has more experience than I ( has an MA and a BA under his belt, whereas I’m in the first year of my MA), and seems well-versed in the topic of our class.

He never fails to contribute to class discussion. And, although he usually has something substantive to add to discussions, he tends to dominate the class, which annoys me. He’s a bit of a know it all, and at the same time, a constructive contributer to discussion.

I am a eager to do well. I’m a good public speaker and am pretty confident in front of a class.

At the same time, I worry that I’m easily dominated. I can’t shake the feeling that I’m going to be “out-shined” by my co-presenter, and I want to address this fear constructively, so we can work well together, and so I can gain confidence.

We are currently in the planning stage of our presentation. What are some strategies I can employ to

(1) work constructively and collaboratively with a “Type A” personality;

(2) be a confident, rational, and well-read presenter?

posted by anonymous to education (11 comments total)

Divide the presentation up into sections and decide who's going to present which sections. Agree on the timing of those sections, so he can't hog all the available time.

Know the bits you are presenting inside out and upside down. (Know a lot about a little)

If there's going to be off the cuff questions from the class, decide how to handle these so you both get a chance to respond. You could take them alternately, or take the ones that are relevant to the bits that you presented on. That last one could be risky if all the questions focus on one aspect of the presentation.

What in particular do you want to get out of this? Experience of using presenting tools (like powerpoint)? Of presenting on an area you know a lot about? Or something you don't know much about? Giving a practical demonstration? Fielding questions from the floor? Decide on a few things you want to achieve from this, share those with your colleague and make sure you get those opportunities. This will give you something to focus on during your planning, and hopefully will mean that he can't dominate with his own ideas too much.

Remember, you won't be the only one who's noticed his dominance.
posted by Helga-woo at 6:52 AM on September 30, 2007

Do you feel comfortable speaking to your professor/advisor about this?
posted by brujita at 9:32 AM on September 30, 2007

Seconding the suggestion to divide the presentation into sections, and each be explicitly responsible for presenting certain pieces. You might also offer to do compile both your notes for the outline or PowerPoint or whatever, which will give you a bit more power in setting up the structure of the presentation (it is, however, a bit more work that way).
posted by occhiblu at 9:41 AM on September 30, 2007

Another option (which may work in combination with dividing the presentation, and depending on if he's an ass or just oblivious): appeal to his ego.

You've said he's a Type A personality, so assuming he's not also a jerk, he probably has no desire to harm his other classmates' performance, but is simply being thoughtless by dominating the conversation.

Tell him you're a bit nervous, and explicitly ask for his help by letting you have your part of the presentation. Ask him not to jump in during the presentation. Counter this by asking for any help/suggestions he may have beforehand.

It's a little hard to tell without meeting this guy, but most Type A enthusiastic brainer academics I know (including myself) are delighted to help less-experienced students, since it provides a similar ego boost to being a shameless know-it-all, with the extra added bonus of helping someone.
posted by sarahkeebs at 10:02 AM on September 30, 2007

As another dominating academic type, I find that I accidentally run people over because I mistake negotiating for indecisiveness. For example:

Me: Ok, how should we split this up?
Hypothetical Fred: I don't know...what do you think?
Me: I think we should do A and B. How about you do B?
HF: ....ummm....ok.

So what happened here is that HF wanted me to make an opening offer, but instead I just took over and made a decision. Then HF didn't want to argue directly, so he just accepted and went off unhappy. Not being good at picking up social subtleties, I usually have no idea that the other person is unhappy.

So I think you need to be more explicit than you think you need to be. Don't assume that your partner is going to pick up on what you really want to do - you need to say it. If you sound iindecisive, your partner will assume that he needs to make a decision for both of you.

Hope this helps!
posted by ilyanassa at 11:33 AM on September 30, 2007

I am that guy too, and "we" don't mean to be this way. I bet if he knew how you felt he'd be mortified. I agree with the folks who say he'd probably be happy to help you. Don't whine to your advisor. It's much worse when you're paired with a non-worker.
posted by k8t at 11:52 AM on September 30, 2007

1. Divide it into sections, and be happy you're paired with someones that's outgoing AND talented. Pick your battles wisely. Remember it's not a zero sum game. You can both come out looking great.

2. Watch other presentations live or on the web aggressively to figure out what you like about them. Do they start with a joke? Do they speak a bit off the cuff? If they use slides, how long do they spend on each slide? Steal shamelessly from techniques that work, and adopt those techniques to your topic.
posted by jstruan at 12:16 PM on September 30, 2007

So I think you need to be more explicit than you think you need to be. Don't assume that your partner is going to pick up on what you really want to do - you need to say it. If you sound iindecisive, your partner will assume that he needs to make a decision for both of you.

Totally agree. 'Type A' individuals - like myself - often really don't realise that they are domineering...if people appear to be indecisive we'll just save them the trouble...if you are direct in this situation we may be surprised but not offended or unhappy...to the contrary you show you value the working relationship enough to want to find the best possible outcome...

I would respect you a lot more for being assertive :)
posted by koahiatamadl at 1:04 PM on September 30, 2007

I think I might fit into the same category as your co-presenter although I would categorically deny that I'm a "type A" personality.

Tell them upfront that you want to contribute to the project. The most likely response will be vast relief since that means that you aren't a slackoff meaning that they have to put more hard work into the project than required.

If they aren't like me, and are actual jerks, yeah - figure out during the first meeting the division of responsibilities. If they are a problem-person, also make sure that the actual presentation is split 50/50 time/content-wise

--

Confident, rational, and well-read?

Practice. Out loud. In front of real people. If you have the equipment, videotape yourself and watch the tape.

Confidence will come from knowing your material really well. Aim to be able to present without looking at notes and only the use the powerpoint as a reference. Do.Not. read directly from the powerpoint slide.

Rational? Fact-check the material so you can be confident that it's accurate and so you'll be able to back yourself up if someone questions it.

For the well-read part, speak slowly. Inexperienced speakers typically feel that they're talking too slow when in fact they're zooming along. Plan your presentation to be less than the alloted time. This will give you confidence to slow down. The videotaping yourself helps here, too - also, when watching yourself, pay attention to hand movements and shuffling of your feet. Quick movements bely nervousness. If you're normally fidgety, fidget... as... slowly... as.... you...... can.

Figure out how to project your voice - power it from the diaphram, not your throat. Relax and stand tall.

Look people in the eyes (essentially memorizing the presentation helps here - you don't have to read from anything) - but don't do the "scan the crowd" - it comes off as fake. Focus on one person per slide or long-ish point. Don't flit from person to person every sentence.

Smile!

Insert small jokes in your presentation (but do.not. laugh at them yourself - no more than a twinkle of the eye).

--

You'll probably be doing a lot of presentations during the span of your MA. Getting started on improving your presentation skills early is definitely a good thing and it can be done. I know lots of people who are normally shy or reserved or quiet but are able to pull off kick-ass presentations.
posted by porpoise at 4:29 PM on September 30, 2007

Oh - and if you're really really nervous about giving talks, take a half-tab of Gravol (the stuff you give children to prevent car sickness) about a half-hour before the presentation.
posted by porpoise at 4:32 PM on September 30, 2007

Speaking as a loud mouth class dominator, we're not as concerned with making you look bad as you might think. Personally, I love it when other people are as blabby and talkative as me, and for me, though I'm never avoidant, knowing I occupy more space than I fairly deserve is a source of shyness. Try talking to this guy (without accusations), and he'll probably understand your need for air time, and work with you.
posted by Phalene at 6:53 PM on October 1, 2007