Should I marry a woman when I also like men?
September 28, 2007 6:36 PM Subscribe
I am a guy who has been dating a wonderful girl for four years. We have been living together for most of that time. We are both out of college and in our mid-20s. Though this is my first relationship I feel like we are perfect for each other. She's had other relationships (long and short-term) and feels the same way. I am thinking of asking her to marry me, except for one thing: I am bisexual and it is difficult to give up men.
posted by anonymous to human relations (39 answers total) 10 users marked this as a favorite
As I said, we feel perfect. We settle arguments quickly and without tears. We have similar hobbies, interests, love spending time together, but are OK with each other having alone time. We have similar ideas about kids, family, finances, all of the important topics. I am sure I could spend the rest of my life with her.
The only doubts come because I have never dated or even kissed anyone else, man or woman (I was closeted until right before we began dating). It does not seem smart to make this commitment with so little experience because I have no basis for comparison. Furthermore I would like to explore the side of myself that is attracted to men. Early in the relationship we discussed this, but I have never acted on it because our relationship is so great and though early on she once said she would be OK with me exploring I could tell from looking at her that this would break her heart. Neither of us feel like we could "do" polyamory--she read "The Ethical Slut" for a human sexuality class and has no moral objections but neither of us could emotionally handle it. I do not want to just have anonymous hook-ups anyway, I want to try real dating.
What she and I have feels like true love in every definition of the word. But these doubts exist. I don't want to give up what I have and find out years later after dating others I'm an idiot. I also don't want to give up on men before ever trying them.