Getting The Cold Shoulder For No Apparent Reason
September 20, 2007 1:29 PM Subscribe
This girl is messing with my head, need assistance from women.
posted by ISeemToBeAVerb to Human Relations (42 answers total) 3 users marked this as a favorite
Perhaps this question is unanswerable, but I feel compelled to post regardless.
Recently I've been kind of seeing this girl I work with. It all started when we began flirting over iChat messages at work and home. One night she was working late and invited me out for drinks with another co-worker in tow. To make a long story shorter, we ended up making out at the end of the night. This has happened maybe 4 times since then, each time has involved drinking and making out in secluded public areas (she would never go home with me or invite me to her place). When we're not together we text back and forth constantly, mostly when we're out on the weekend with our respective group of friends. We've both talked about having reservations regarding dating within work (though it's quite common at our job due to long hours), we've also talked about not really wanting to be in a monogamous relationship (we both recently ended long-term relationships). So that's the back story leading up to...
Her birthday was last Saturday (she never actually invited me out for it). So Saturday night comes around and she starts texting me over and over trying to get me to come to the bar she was at. I would have gone, but I had an obligation to attend to and was not able to make it. I promised her that if I couldn't make it out to the bar that I would take her to a show she had been wanting to see. So I text her the day before the show and she says she can't commit to anything and to just wait until tomorrow evening to deal with it. So after work the next day I ask her if we're going and she says yeah. To paraphrase; we go to the show and have a great time, laughing and talking. I walk her to the train after the show and we make out (as we usually do), she says she had a great time and then she leaves. Fast foreword to the weekend, I'm hanging out at a friend's place and I've been texting her back and forth all day. She ends up inviting me over to her place, which is a big deal to me considering she has never invited me over before this- even when we were blocks away. I go over there and we drink wine, listen to music, talk, play games, kiss, roll around on the floor and laugh. Eventually she tells me it's time for me to go (which I knew ahead of time would happen, since she had plans early the next day). I leave.
I hear no word from her Sunday, I come into work on Monday and she's not logged into iChat (which is really out of character for her). I try and talk to her and all I get is monosyllabic responses, same thing Tuesday and Wednesday. Finally I text her after work and ask her if I've done something to make her mad. She texts back that she has a lot of other things going on and hasn't been feeling so hot, also that it has nothing to do with me.
In summery... WTF??? I'm posting this because I'm hoping that somewhere out in the ether there is a girl that can explain to me what the fuck is going on. I mean we've been flirting constantly for over three months and in the past week she's decided to actually a) go out with me one on one b) Invite me to her place. But now she's shutting me out with no explanation- directly after having an amazing time together. My mind is fucking melting in confusion and my gut feels twisted and raw. She's not being straight with me, what gives?