September 19, 2007 11:36 AM Subscribe
How can I repair my relationship with my sister?
posted by anonymous to human relations (25 answers total) 6 users marked this as a favorite
My sister and I no longer speak to one another. When we do speak on the phone, it is a very cursory "hi" sort of thing. I haven't spoken to her properly since 2006.
She has been obsessed with a car accident, especially the legal issues surrounding said crash, for some time. She has pain, she claims, that never abates (although there is ample evidence that she is greatly exaggerating the pain, if it's there at all). She lives at my mom's house rent-free. She owes my mom $50,000 (give or take). She spends most of her life in a stoned-out stupour and complains endlessly, about everything and anything, to anyone who will listen to her.
Her behaviour pisses me off, and it pisses my wife off. She is aware of this, and so she avoids contact with us.
My mother and sister are locked in some sort of epic dysfunctional struggle. My mom doesn't want her children to ever grow up, so she has kept my sister a child, even though she is now 35. My sister is a product of my parent's divorce (when she was only a toddler) and a weird childhood that sort of emotionally crippled her. She has kind of given up on life, and lives in a bubble of depression and denial. My mom enables her... and has picked up the bill for my sister's lavish lifestyle (designer clothes, expensive weed, restaurants, etc). My sister is, to say the least, unappreciative and spoilt.
So, effectively, because of the tension surrounding this money issue, I have no contact sister at all. She doesn't want to hear what I have to say to her, so she has sort of cut me off. I'm so angry at her for taking my mom for all that money (and never paying it back) that I want to choke her. I don't know her phone number or her email address (although I could find it if need be).
We are at an impasse. How can I repair this situation? She has no intention of ever paying off this money and I'm not able to just forget that she's stabbed my mother in the back at every turn.