I love science. Should I give up my science classes?

September 18, 2007 10:31 AM

I'm a science nerd who's transitioned to the humanities because of repeated fuck-ups. Now I'm giving up the last few science classes I have and it's ripping me apart. What should I do?

I entered a challenging college on a math/science track. Ever since middle and high school my teachers and professors recognized I had a good deal of potential in and enthusiasm for those areas. I entered college probably a year ahead in math and science of my fellow students. However I've also suffered from serious procrastination, depression, and ADHD issues and for nearly every semester entered a cycle where I stopped attending classes, stopped doing homework, and didn't study for tests. You can imagine what this did to me academically. I'm now a humanities major trying for a science minor, but now it looks like even that has to go.

See, the years of failed math and science classes have left me sorely behind in those areas. It's not like humanities, where it's possible to wiggle and BS your way through courses that you don't feel quite up to snuff in. I don't remember much, and what I do remember is scattered. I'm struggling in the higher-level classes necessary for my minor and realize now it would take a year of hard review to get me back to speed. And I don't have that extra year, and, to be realistic, still lack discipline to do that kind of work outside of class. I have no desire to spend seven or eight years getting my undergrad; I don't have the money and it feels pathetic to take that long when I haven't even been doing it part-time or with a job on the side. At this point, I've failed so many academic opportunities I feel discouraged and ready to move on with my life.

I don't see scientific research as a career. My humanities major is much more in line with what I want to do for the rest of my life. I could use the freed-up credits to take classes that would be extremely useful to this major. And there are a lot of other things I enjoy doing and I worry if I did undertake the serious review and struggle through these classes I'd be sacrificing other areas of my life.

But the idea of giving up math and science is like a punch in the gut. I still love it--I remember my joy at doing higher-level math and desperately want that back. It feels like a part of my identity. Then there's the feeling of wasting all my potential and disappointing myself and the people I look up to. My career track COULD use science-trained people, and it's far easier to transition from science to the humanities than the other way around, especially since I do a lot of humanities research in my spare time. Finally, giving up science makes me feel stupid and inacapable.

So what do I do? Continue the (likely futile) struggle through higher-level classes? Or give this up, try to learn what I can on the side for my own edification, and take classes that would provide much-needed enrichment to my major? I worry about the latter as learning higher-level math and science is nigh-impossible on your own, even if you do have the discipline I utterly lack.

If I give up the science minor, the pressure of review, worry I don't have the discipline to do it, and frustration with how behind I am will disappear. But it will add itself to the weight of regret for all my screw-ups and my inability to live up to my academic potential. I wish I could turn back time 10 years and do everything over again, but as it is I have to live with the burden of my mistakes. What do you suggest?

posted by anonymous to education (21 comments total)

I'd go for this option) Give this up, try to learn what I can on the side for my own edification, and take classes that would provide much-needed enrichment to my major.

You need to focus on getting your degree, and doing that well. When you've gotten that done if the mood still strikes you go back and take some science classes when you have the time and the inclination. Don't beat yourself up, just get the degree and take it from there.
posted by zeoslap at 10:51 AM on September 18, 2007

It's rather unfortunate that you asked this anonymously, because you don't seem to address an important point in your question: How long have you been in college, and how long do you have left? If you're just starting sophomore year now, then three more years of misery might not be worth it; if you're starting your senior year, then it would probably be worth sticking it out to get that well-earned feather in your cap.

Also, don't think that if you don't get a science minor, that all the time & energy you've invested in science courses is wasted. If you're not planning to go into research, then the main thing that you'll get out of a science minor is the ability to think critically, apply old skills to novel situations, and not run gibbering from the room when confronted with numbers (as all too many humanities majors do.) Don't get me wrong, I think a full-fledged science education is a great thing — admittedly, I'm biased — but don't sell short the skills you've gotten out of what you've already done.
posted by Johnny Assay at 10:58 AM on September 18, 2007

My humanities major is much more in line with what I want to do for the rest of my life. I could use the freed-up credits to take classes that would be extremely useful to this major.

Then do so.

Then there's the feeling of wasting all my potential and disappointing myself and the people I look up to.

I've seen people pursue entire careers based on this and it didnt make them happy. Ultimately, I've discovered, people respect competent and happy people. The key is the competency not the particular field.

As zeoslap points out, you can go back and take science classes later. Just because you're giving them up now doesn't mean you're giving them up forever. And the fact that it sounds like you have a math/science intuition already is an advantage that wont go away.
posted by vacapinta at 11:00 AM on September 18, 2007

Take humanities classes for credits and audit the math/science classes. You'll get the first-hand instruction and opportunity to interact in a classroom but can treat the work as optional. Repeat the audits if you're still hazy on some things. If you get bored and stop going, no problem. If you get lots out of them, great.

Minors are not very important for resumes and aren't needed as proof of your enthusiasm for or mastery of a subject.

Just concentrate on your humanities degree. Let the pressure and shame at your failures fall by the wayside as you march confidently towards a degree you can realistically attain.
posted by cowbellemoo at 11:01 AM on September 18, 2007

i would focus on your major. since you're behind already, you're not going to get much out of the science classes anyway. if you want, audit the science classes--that will take the pressure off of you to study or even prepare, and it will keep your resume broad (very few employers in the humanities actually care about your grades--if you say you audited some physics courses, they'll be impressed by your breadth.)
posted by thinkingwoman at 11:03 AM on September 18, 2007

If you're not going to be doing actual science as a career, you can get by with a conceptual understanding of most things. Try some coursework in the history of math and science. These aren't jokes, and are interesting in their own right often. From the sound of the involvement of math, I'd guess that you're looking at physics. The history and concepts here are hard, and knowing them is useful to many. Being able to solve various equations (which is 90% of upper level work) is relatively much less so.

If there aren't conceptual-type classes for you to take, bail the minor (nobody cares about your minors) and go to the seminars. Every decent science program will have seminars by visiting faculty and grad students, most of which are targeted at people not intimately familiar with their area (eg in a physics colloquium there are hard-core quantum theorists to solid-state materials guys to computational guys). Seminars 2x/wk will help keep you fresh on the world of whatever science, give you those people's viewpoints, and not bog you down. Also, the frequently have food. Ask an undergrad dean/adviser or professor over there for conceptual book recommendations; they'll bury you in them.

Also, if you're getting killed in classrooms, try some lab work. Lots of people who pull their hair out at doing contour integrals for advanced E/M2 have a much better time in the workshop where they get to see how concepts relate, and actually do something.
posted by a robot made out of meat at 11:05 AM on September 18, 2007

I've gone through processes like this many times in my life. My advice, just based on my own experience, is that you should quit trying to swim upstream. Do what you love, not what you think you ought to do - and never look back.
posted by ikkyu2 at 11:06 AM on September 18, 2007

You sound like you went straight to college right after high school. So you've been in school for at least 14 straight years! My guess is that you still enjoy the math/science classes, but that other things are getting in the way. So it make sense that you should take some time off to deal with these things, so you can focus on school (and take the classes you really want to take).

There is no need to compare yourself to other people: "I was a year ahead, but now that I've fallen behind I've got to do something to catch back up." That crap. If you've got issues that are getting in the way of school, the answer isn't to take easier classes, it's to take some time off and fix those issues.

If you get a humanities degree just because you were failing your math classes, you might feel like you wasted your time in the humanities classes and that the degree doesn't mean as much as the one you were really wanting.
posted by philomathoholic at 11:16 AM on September 18, 2007

I don't see scientific research as a career. My humanities major is much more in line with what I want to do for the rest of my life.

Well, you should try to excel in it then. I mean, scientific reasoning can be helpful in the humanities.

Ultimately, if you don't want to be a research scientist, and you get a science degree, you're just going to be miserable and hate your job.

And it's not like you only get one shot in collage. You can go back and get another degree whenever you want. Maybe it's not always convenient, but it's always a possibility.

Also, what about taking medication for ADD? That stuff does work, supposedly.
posted by delmoi at 11:26 AM on September 18, 2007

First off you have some kind of mental issue/illness. Why arent you getting some kind of treatment? Changing to an easier major is understandable but thats a symptom of whats wrong with you. Who told you you have ADD? Is this self-diagnosed? Have you have any real interactions with a mental health professional?

What you need to do is address your issues. See you school's mental health services. Do something. Once that's taken care of everything else will fall into place.

If you think you have problems now, you will have more when you are in the workforce. Good luck!
posted by damn dirty ape at 11:29 AM on September 18, 2007

Also science as a career outside the level of a technician means graduate school. Considering the damage to your academic career it might be best to just get help and graduate in anything and get some health insurance.

Best to graduate now then to burn out and quit in 6 months.
posted by damn dirty ape at 11:31 AM on September 18, 2007

Minors mean nothing. Let it go. Focus your energy on your new major and do well in it. Finishing strong can make up for earlier failures.
posted by caddis at 11:43 AM on September 18, 2007

Graduate in what you can do best and what will help you with your career. The amount of science you would learn from minor courses you could pick up later from pop science books at your leisure. There are recent AskMe threads with recommendations.
posted by nowonmai at 12:27 PM on September 18, 2007

Providing my 2 cent opinion because...I love science and found the courses very enjoyable when I was an undergraduate.

Just some ideas:
-Take a course or courses for nonmajors (you will get the highlights of the field, created in a way that should be easy to understand for nonmajors)
-Wait until your senior year to take a 1st year Intro to Bio course. Or, just audit the course
-Graduate colleage first. Then go back and take 1 course at a time (some jobs offer free tuition as a benefit). As an older student who completed college (and study skills), you may do well then.
-Get the "I am worried about disappointing others" out of your mind. You're going to find that you do well at many subjects or fields. Do you need to pursue each one? (e.g., music, math, ping pong). Do what you enjoy.

Best of luck.
posted by Wolfster at 12:32 PM on September 18, 2007

It's your life and it's not a race. Do what you want to do, when you want to do it. Other people's expectations of us can come in handy to keep us going when we don't know what we want to do, but that can only go so far. At some point you have to own the path you take.

Do you know what you want to do? Is the new career track you've chosen through the humanities something you are interested in, or just what someone else thinks you should be doing since either you or they think you've screwed up your science career?

Have you actually tried talking to those people you are worried about disappointing about what you want to do now? I went to a college where a significant number of people went on to "terminal degrees," and the profs in my major had a great deal of confidence (more than I had myself) that I could thrive in research. I left science behind as a career shortly after graduation and they are still happy to hear from me. Experienced mentors and educators know that the people they help and educate may go in all sorts of directions, especially when they haven't even graduated from college yet.
posted by Good Brain at 12:53 PM on September 18, 2007

You need to have this exact conversation with two people: your humanities advisor and a science faculty who you would trust as an advisor. I say this as a person trying to make a living as a professor of physics: have long conversations with your advisors and trust their advice. They are best suited to seeing the whole of your situation.

And...heed ikkyu2's advice.
posted by achmorrison at 12:56 PM on September 18, 2007

Lots of good advice here. My additional two cents: A strong interest in math and science coupled with skills and a degree in the humanities suggests you might be a good candidate for a career in technical communications. Take a technical writing course if you can. You might still be able to work in the fields you love, even if procrastination and depression have derailed your original career plans.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 1:07 PM on September 18, 2007

What if you DON'T love science? Somebody who loves science wouldn't have to force themselves to do it to the degree you describe. If you aren't going to class, that's your subconscious telling you something. Getting kudos for being good at science is one thing - that's external. Actually loving it is something else. It sounds like you just aren't that into it. I'd let it go and try to find something else I really did love.
posted by selfmedicating at 1:19 PM on September 18, 2007

You probably have a better background in math and science than the average humanities major, so you can definitely use that to your advantage. As far as the blow to your ego goes, well, sometimes you just gotta let ego go and stop trying to prove something to yourself or others.

To put it another way, if you finish strongly and give up the things weighting you down, you'll come out looking a lot smarter in the end.
posted by Mr. Gunn at 7:12 PM on September 18, 2007

What selfmedicating said. I think I was in your shoes about 15 years ago, and it's taken me a long time to realise that I was relying on "being good at maths" to bolster my self esteem, rather than actually enjoying it anymore. The converse of that is that I was putting tremendous pressure on myself to be good at it, leading to... procrastination, depression etc.

My guess is your interest will come back eventually, but for now I'd drop those subjects and move on. You'll be happier.

My email is in my profile, if you want to hear more. Best of luck whatever you choose.
posted by crocomancer at 2:42 AM on September 19, 2007

I love science, too! I gave it up, too. I did JUST BARELY get the degree (in physics), but it took 5 years, and I have a terrible GPA, and I almost had to drop out, and I was miserable, and then I realized that I would have to go to grad school to do anything with it. Or at least to do anything with it that seemed "science-y" enough to me.

To me, "doing science" was the same as "being smart", so dropping science meant that I was just a huge failure. This is not the case at all, duh, and this fear was TOTALLY a symptom of insecurity and depression. When I'm depressed, everything seems like the most important decision of my life. Given, this is an important decision, but it's not worth making yourself desperate and miserable over it. Really.

Drop the minor. It will suck for a little while, but you can/will fall in love with something else or at least you will stop caring (in a healthy way). Look into teaching science, or science journalism, or science librarianship. If you are still interested in being an academic, look at history or anthropology of science.

FYI, I'm a science librarian now, and it rules. Email me if you want.
posted by unknowncommand at 5:01 AM on September 19, 2007