Am I turning into one of Those People?

September 17, 2007 12:04 PM

Is submitting an update to the "class notes" section of your college or university alumni magazine a good way to keep in touch, or is it just public bragging? Is the answer different if you're a recent alum?
posted by chickletworks to Education (17 answers total)

People who read the class notes do so because they are interested in it, and possibly in particular individuals. It would be the epitome of bad form to read the section devoted to public bragging and then complain that it is full of public bragging.
posted by grouse at 12:14 PM on September 17, 2007

Best answer: It's bragging, but I view it more as a statement about "look how successful our class is!" moreso than "look how successful *I* am!"
posted by gatorae at 12:20 PM on September 17, 2007

Best answer: I always feel a fair amount of jealously when I read about the amazing things people from my class are doing, but I'm also proud of them and interested in where life has led. Brag away!
posted by saffry at 12:28 PM on September 17, 2007

It's a mediocre way to keep in touch, but it's a great way of satisfying the curiosity of all those people who are thinking, "I wonder what ever happened to chickletworks. . . "
posted by veggieboy at 12:33 PM on September 17, 2007

It's only bragging for the first few years out of college.

After 10-20 years out, nobody really cares. Also, by now, everyone has heard about the *truly* successful people in their class who went on to become celebrities, CEOs, major film directors etc. and none of them ever posted in the class notes.

So the only people left posting are the ones who truly are just sharing and keeping in touch - which is as it should have been all along.
posted by vacapinta at 12:34 PM on September 17, 2007

I work at the office in my alma mater that produces the alumni magazine. I do believe that it is largely "look at me" versus "look at our class" - you'd be surprised of the insanely detailed submissions that come through - but concede that it works as a communications tool.
posted by sjuhawk31 at 1:13 PM on September 17, 2007

For my alumni magazine, the class notes section seems to lean greatly toward who the current writer knew from school. For the first two years post graduation, it was a friend of mine from freshman year, so the updates seemed to focus largely on the group we knew (although other people were in there, as well).

Send it in, someone will read it and be interested, or not. I highly recommend it if you're a recent grad.

As for keeping in touch, I don't think this really counts.
posted by shinynewnick at 1:24 PM on September 17, 2007

Best answer: It's totally bragging, but where's the harm? At least it's more respectable than blogging.

A rule of thumb: when deciding whether to forward your update, think of your former classmate, Harriet Awfulperson, and imagine how you'd react were you to read a similar blurb from her. A cold spike of jealousy followed by a tailspin of self-doubt? By all means, send it in. However, if her news would only inspire faint loathing, you might want to wait until you've got another medal on your chest before you alert the alumni magazine folks.
posted by roger ackroyd at 1:38 PM on September 17, 2007 [2 favorites]

Best answer: We receive two alumni magazines, one from BigSchool and one from SmallSchool. The BigSchool one is just like shinynewnick describes, very cliquey and in-jokey, very much some person writing up a "how are my friends and a few other people doing?" section, not worth reading at all.

The one from SmallSchool is much nicer, where clearly they just type up whatever people have bothered to send in. It is all put together by some intern in the alumni office, who has no more attachment to the class off 1944 than they do to the class of 2005, so there is none of the off-putting cliqueyness of the BigSchool alumni section. Sometimes what gets in there is pretty random, but I like to see who is announcing their new babies, and the wedding photos are sweet. And even the bragging "so-and-so has just been promoted to Mr Bigshot at WorldStomper Industries" are nice to see, because it suggests that that person is doing something they are proud of (whether or not they should be).

Of course, I've never submitted anything to an alumni magazine, and doubt I ever will. But I encourage everyone else to do so, so I can read about it and feel good for you.
posted by Forktine at 2:02 PM on September 17, 2007

Best answer: I once submitted a class note to my high school that updated them regarding my job (I had passed the bar and become a lawyer) but otherwise was as down to earth as possible -- I noted that my boyfriend and I had just broken up, I was working crazily long hours, and I was still looking for answers to questions that I'd started thinking about in high school.

They didn't print it.

So I agree that class notes are almost by definition filled with school- and self-propaganda normally reserved for the likes of Pravda. On the other hand, I admit that I read them to find out what classmates that I remember are up to. Because of my own experience, unless a class note is directly quoted from a letter or some such I tend not to blame the school chum for what might come off as an overenthusiastic self-congratulatory tone, recognizing that the school has an interest in making its graduates appear shiny, happy, and eminently successful.
posted by onlyconnect at 2:16 PM on September 17, 2007

Response by poster: Thanks, all! I guess I'll submit a note with some appropriately self-effacing details (ala onlyconnect) and see what happens.
posted by chickletworks at 2:51 PM on September 17, 2007

Best answer: Some people use the snippets from alumni columns to make new connections to old friends. It may be that you and a former classmate have new interests or occupations in common. "Hey, John Classmate works in an archaeology lab, too, and he's living nearby. We should have lunch!"

But I've never submitted any info to the class notes because I have no strong desire to hear from anyone who might read it and think "Hey, Elsa lives right down the road in [redacted]! I should call her!" Since I don't want to reach out to old classmates, submitting info about my milestones would only be bragging. So I don't do it.

But sometimes the alumni column tells sweet little stories. Those people writing about their babies? They're not bragging. They genuinely believe that it would be cruel to keep the healing visages of their adorable babies from the world. It's the sweetest delusion in the world. It always makes me smile.

In a recent alumni column, I saw a note from a dweeby classmate of mine --- a heck of a nice guy, but one of those guys you figure will never get ahead in life. It included a photo of him with his very pretty wife standing on their small boat on the beach in the Caribbean where they now live. He mentioned that any classmates visiting the area should email, since he'd be happy to offer the guest room of their modest house.

And I thought Awwwww. From the outside, it looks like this guy, so earnest and dorky and seemingly destined for quiet middle-management desperation, ended up with a pretty sweet life. He certainly seems to have retained his central kindness.

Maybe it was bragging. It didn't seem that way to me. It felt like he'd reached out in genuine kindness. It warmed my heart.
posted by Elsa at 3:13 PM on September 17, 2007

Why not just use facebook, friendster, classmates or whatever?
posted by sien at 4:20 PM on September 17, 2007

Best answer: There are people who will never ever submit an update to the alumni magazine of my school. So I have to cyberstalk them if I want to know what happened to them. Sometimes this yields nothing... and then I just have to wonder. The agony.

There are two kinds of people [no seriously] those that wonder with all seriousness "what is my sophomore dorm-mate up to?" and those that are like "I already keep in touch with the people I care about, everything else is extraneous." You can guess which one I am.
posted by Mozzie at 4:41 PM on September 17, 2007

dizzy dean, the st. louis cardinals' great pitcher, once said "it isn't bragging if you can do it."
posted by bruce at 7:13 PM on September 17, 2007

Best answer: I love reading them. I love writing them. I like to know what interesting things people are doing. I like to share my interesting stuff. I think it's important to keep the insecurity out of it.
posted by abbyladybug at 8:10 PM on September 17, 2007

yes, you are.

there are any number of ways of keeping up with your friends--not least actually keeping in contact with them.

if there are people who seriously mean a lot to you, then inform them of your life events in some better way than your alumni magazine. if you're trying to impress the people with whom you aren't in contact, well--that might work or might not.
posted by mookieproof at 9:39 PM on September 17, 2007