Help me plan my wedding weekend....and it's not what you think.

September 14, 2007 2:57 PM

My SO and I were engaged & planning our wedding. I called off the wedding in July, and my SO and I broke up. All of the messy details have been (mostly) taken care of. Now my "wedding weekend" is two weeks away & I have no idea how to spend it.

It was planned for Sept 29th, in Concord, MA. I'm in the Boston area & broke. My family (parents & younger siblings) lives about an hr away and I have a number of friends within a short drive. I know I'll have people to hang out with, but what the heck should I do?? I definitely do NOT want some sort of pity party, or "let's bitch about ex-SO" or anything like that. Something fun, positive, laid back, cheap... Oh yeah, and I have a studio apartment, so hosting is pretty much out. And my family has been driving me a little nuts, so I'd rather not have their house as my "base" for the weekend. Specific ideas in Boston/Worcester/Southern NH are great, but I'm also looking for general suggestions too. And if anyone has advice about how to deal with the crazy emotions of that day, pleaaaase feel free to share them!

posted by good for you! to human relations (16 comments total)

Breathe a big sigh of relief and then do whatever it is you would normally do that's something other than living a painful life in a crappy marriage.

advice about how to deal with the crazy emotions of that day

Latch onto the emotions that are happy that you're not stuck in a crappy marriage and writing and AskMe about how to get out of it.
posted by The World Famous at 3:06 PM on September 14, 2007

Spend at least some of the time alone, reflecting on missed disasters and the reasons for such. Costs nothing, and the rewards are great. Congratulations.
posted by pammo at 3:10 PM on September 14, 2007 [1 favorite has favorites]

Ditto. My day was 7/27/02. Get the hell outta Dodge is my advice. You're gonna think about it a lot that day but if you're out of your normal surroundings you won't dwell on it as much. Good luck, it will pass I promise and you will be better off for it.
posted by CwgrlUp at 3:17 PM on September 14, 2007

Spend a full day at the movies. Ignore "date" films and anything else romantic. Buy a tub of bonbons and lots of popcorn and rock it. Also, play air hockey with random kids if there's an arcade at the theater.
posted by luriete at 3:18 PM on September 14, 2007 [1 favorite has favorites]

Oh wait, sorry, that's how *I'd* like to spent this weekend. Nevermind.
posted by luriete at 3:19 PM on September 14, 2007

Celebrate being in control of your own destiny. This weekend, make a 50-item life-list of all the positive, nourishing things you want to do in your life: a hot air balloon ride, visiting paris, writing a book, trying a particular food, etc. On the wedding weekend, complete one of the goals and scratch it off as accomplished.

That said, if you're feeling sad, watch Closer, wallow in the misanthropy, and remind yourself how lucky you are to dodge that bullet.
posted by mochapickle at 3:27 PM on September 14, 2007 [2 favorites has favorites]

What do you like to do? You could go camping with a couple of friends, have a bonfire and yard games at someone's place, rent a few really crazy old science fiction movies and make fun of them with friends, get tickets to a great show in Boston and have dinner somewhere exotic before and drinks after, you could go bowling or to karaoke or to Jillian's (is that still there, in Boston?) with a bunch of people...

Did the breakup have to do with your partner never wanting to do X kind of thing that you really like to do? (eg go have spontaneous adventures, hang out and play boardgames, whatever) If so this might be a good weekend to celebrate that.
posted by LobsterMitten at 3:36 PM on September 14, 2007

If I were you, I think I would want to stay as busy as possible so that I wouldn't have time to think any sad thoughts.

As for activities...If the weather is nice, how about apple-picking? It might also be fun to organize a photo scavenger hunt with your friends. Coming up with a list of funny things to take pictures of would probably also keep you occupied during the days leading up to the weekend. I would also consider volunteering. Whether it's Habitat for Humanity or a soup kitchen, it would make me feel great to know that I was able to help someone less fortunate.
posted by sotalia at 3:52 PM on September 14, 2007

That's a great location, one of my favorites. I don't know if you would enjoy any of these activities, but cheap activities include the following (hopefully you like history or the outdoors):

Concord/Lexington
-Hike in the forest and see Thoreau's Walden pond and site of his former home. You can swim in the pond so perhaps that may be a great place to go with friends and family - or if you want to reflect alone, also a great places.
-Go to Concord River - there is a place (sorry can't remember specifics but you can google if you want to find it) that was the site of the Revolutionary War and the river runs by. Beautiful and historic - if I remember correctly you can rent canoes. Go out for the day.
-Cemetary - cemetary of famous authors - Hawthorn, Emerson, Louise Alcott - perhaps go and leave a note by your favorite authors gravesite?

Boston:
-Freedom trail. Go to a tourist center, get a brochure, and walk through the sites (free) - such as graveyards (sorry) sites of the revolutionary war, it was fun years ago.
-Harvard Square - see street music and lounge around the ten billion bookstores.

If you have a bit of money:
-Concord is a really interesting area and you can get tours of the authors homes, including Louise Alcott (Little Women), Hawthorne, Emerson, etc. The person giving you the tour will tell you about the lives of these authors and their families - one of the most interesting things I have done in that area. Could you spend a bit of money and go through one home? Seriously, it's a lot of fun.

Have fun with friends and family. Good luck.
posted by Wolfster at 4:07 PM on September 14, 2007 [1 favorite has favorites]

get a massage, a facial, and/or a really amazing haircut/color. then go out with your girlfriends for a still-a-bachelorette party.

alternatively, camping and hiking with friends sounds like fun to me, and/or some historical touring.
posted by thinkingwoman at 4:15 PM on September 14, 2007 [1 favorite has favorites]

Breathe a big sigh of relief and then do whatever it is you would normally do that's something other than living a painful life in a crappy marriage.

That would be arguably the best advice you will ever receive in your entire life.
posted by davejay at 11:02 PM on September 14, 2007

don't spend this day alone. get together with a few friends, go and get pampered at a spa, have a terrific dinner and drinks. seriously, don't sit around alone. that's the most important thing. these are the kind of moments real friends are for.
posted by krautland at 2:33 AM on September 15, 2007

What about checking out the DeCordova Museum and sculpture park in Lincoln? If that's too close to home (literally or emotionally) maybe a drive out to Mass MoCa? You could have a short 'road trip' along the Mohawk Trail, see the museum, have a nice dinner, cheap stay overnight (there's a Holiday Inn at under $100 a night), good breakfast the next morning, maybe some window shopping and lunch in Northampton, on the drive home.
posted by cocoagirl at 3:44 AM on September 15, 2007

Get slightly drunk, not wasted so you do something stupid, just drunk enough for all the emotions to rush out. Do this with a friend who is willing to listen to you whine for a bit. Preferably in a boring (not trendy or cool) bar of some kind.
Think plenty of sad thoughts, what could have been, etc.
This is your choice, you consciously decided for this to happen. Live it, don't try to distract yourself from your own life.
Embrace your own life story.
Repeat each year until you really don't care anymore.
posted by signal at 6:38 AM on September 15, 2007

I like all of your ideas so far! Especially the spa thing.... :)

I'm going to pack as much of these ideas into the weekend as I reasonably can.

Also, if anyone has more personal advice, my email is in my profile.
posted by good for you! at 8:20 AM on September 15, 2007

take your bridesmaid and do a trip
posted by edtut at 5:26 PM on September 15, 2007