How to handle unrequited love with a best friend?
September 10, 2007 10:19 PM Subscribe
Is it possible to remain friends with someone you're in love with?
posted by jstef to human relations (45 answers total) 11 users marked this as a favorite
I've been best friends with a girl for 4 years, and she was in a serious relationship the entire time I knew her. Soon after her relationship ended, I admitted to her that I was in love and we hooked up a few times, but she has told me time and time again that she's not in love with me. She's not ready for a serious relationship with me, yet I'm utterly infatuated with her. She says that she needs time before she gets into a relationship because we have the potential to go long-term. But I'm losing my shit trying to hold back these feelings I have.
How can I remain friends with her? I can't rely upon the delusion that we'll "get together one day" because I simply can't withstand the jealously I feel when she talks about other guys. Do I simply need to man up and take control of my emotions (proving very difficult, thus far) or detach myself from the friendship and let go of this amazing friend? Will that kill our chances for the future?
I've never felt like this, and the jealousy plus the amount I think about her is just eating me up-- it's hurting our relationship, to boot.