Professional Appreciation

September 9, 2007 3:36 PM

My doctors have been beyond amazing and I'd like to get them a token of appreciation, but I'm not sure what to get.

I've spent some time recently uninsured, and my doctors have been unbelievably wonderful. They've helped pull me through by offering uncharged visits, and outrageously expensive medication. Now that I'm insured again and things are going well, I'd like to thank them. But how do you thank someone for being a truly outstanding human being when you don't know that much about their personal likes and dislikes? (I'm making some of my killer chocolate cupcakes as appreciation for the office and lab staff)

My budget is between $25-$60 per gift, and I'd like to buy a gift for my GP, my specialist, and my specialist's nurse.

I've been with my GP for a little over four years, and my specialist for almost four years--I've been to a huge number of doctors, and I want them to know how great I think *they* are. Somehow an Amazon gift certificate seems to fall short, but it's my best idea to date. I've thought about a gift certificate to a local bookstore (I'd rather support local stores if I can), but not everyone has time to read. I've considered a gift certificate for a massage, but that might be a little weird.

Give me your best gift ideas. What would YOU like to get if you were being appreciated? (I'm in Seattle, WA, and local is good, as well as general ideas and websites).

posted by tejolote to human relations (24 comments total)

call another doctor/nurse in their practice, explain what you'd like to do, and ask if they have any ideas
posted by jpdoane at 3:38 PM on September 9, 2007

My father has been a doctor for almost 40 years. Over that time he has received lots of presents: wine, free days at a golf club, and gift certificates to restaurants. I have to say the presents he still remembers and keeps are all of the letters and thank you notes his patients and their families have written to him, a few handmade gifts (a painting, a wood carving), and a donation someone made to his favorite charity.

He really treasures the notes; I remember my mother reading them to me -- she was so proud. So whatever presents you decide to give to your physicians, don't forget to include a heartfelt letter! Words do make a difference.
posted by bluefly at 3:50 PM on September 9, 2007 [3 favorites]

I don't know about the rules in your area, but medical practitioners (doctors/nurses) are often prohibited from accepting gifts, per the rules of their respective associations.

I usually write a thank you note to the practitioners AND, separately, to their managers. (Doctors often have positions at universities or hospitals, so you can write there. It's usually more clear for nurses.) This provides a career boost, which is worth much more than a token gift. For example, in one case, the nurse manager read out a thank you card at the department meeting, meaning that, not only did the nurse's manager give accolades, but also other managers and co-workers were aware of this nurse's contributions. I assume this person will thus be more likely to be considered for promotions, prime assignments and so on. You can do something similar with doctors if they're in a group practice, a hospital committee or a university. Perhaps you could even write to the medical association, but I'm not sure.
posted by acoutu at 3:51 PM on September 9, 2007 [2 favorites]

I had a great doctor who helped me out in exactly this way many years ago in Chicago. I sent him a bottle of good whiskey and a thank you letter.
posted by scody at 3:54 PM on September 9, 2007

honestly, they will probably appreciate a heartfelt letter more than any gift.

but, if you really feel compelled to give a gift, why not give them something for their office? like some art, or something to make the waiting room more pleasant.
posted by thinkingwoman at 3:54 PM on September 9, 2007

Not really specific to your question, but sorta related - when I spent a week in the hospital earlier this year, I sent the ICU staff a "gift basket" of things like fresh fruit, $5 gift cards to Starbucks or Blockbuster, etc.

I'd asked them before I was discharged, and they specifically mentioned wanting fresh fruit for the breakroom as a nice change of pace from vending machine snacks.
posted by mrbill at 3:56 PM on September 9, 2007

whoops, i published too soon. or, a donation to a charity related to their profession and/or the condition they treated you for would be a nice gesture.
posted by thinkingwoman at 3:56 PM on September 9, 2007

Good ideas all! Hey, thinkingwoman, I'm planning on budgeting $1000 this year to pay for medication/dr. visit/labwork for someone who could use it--I'm sure my doctor knows someone, but I want that to be separate from my appreciation for them and their work.
posted by tejolote at 4:00 PM on September 9, 2007

Write a good letter, to each of them, by name. Send a general gift to their practice that everyone in the office can enjoy. mrbill's fruit basket would be great, or 2-3 good bottles of wine per office with a cheese sampler from Cowgirl Creamery, Dean & Deluca or something like that.

Also, might be worth the effort to tuck in a photo of yourself, obviously healthy and happy.
posted by cior at 4:12 PM on September 9, 2007

I'm making some of my killer chocolate cupcakes as appreciation for the office and lab staff

Um, just to be clear -- does that mean the doctors are getting the cupcakes too, right?

Everyone loves cupcakes. I say, thank you letter and cupcakes.

Ixnay on the Iftgay ertificatecay.
posted by Deathalicious at 5:09 PM on September 9, 2007

I gave my OB and my Cardiologist each this from Stonewall Kitchen after I delivered my second child. The office manager for my OB's office was sent this. That Office Manager rocks in every sense of the word. She was able to pull strings like nobody I've since encountered in NYC. ;)

All three of them loved their gifts. I was able to get the home addys for the two doctors, and sent notes along saying that it was specifically for them to enjoy with their families as thanks for help in getting mine here safely (I had high risk pregnancies both times around).
posted by dancinglamb at 5:32 PM on September 9, 2007

This is a terrific question. My father (a former pediatrician) used to come home around holidays with gift baskets galore, but this was 20-30 year ago. Needless-to-say, relationships between physicians and patients aren't the same, nor are the standards with regard to gift-accepting.

I've received a number of unexpected gifts, and while the policy of my institution is such that we're not supposed to accept gifts, it's hard to say no to very personal and personalized things that your patients have clearly put a lot of time/thought/caring into.

That being said, as a pediatrician, the best gifts that I get are the handwritten notes or the hand-drawn pictures. I've kept every one since I started as an intern. One of the ones I have on my wall is a framed fingerpainting next to a picture that the patient's mom took with me holding her little girl on my lap while she's wearing my stethoscope. It sits on the same wall as my diplomas, and I'm probably more proud of it and what it represents than the degrees.

I can tell you this: the best gift that I can receive as a physician or, more broadly, as a human being, is the knowledge that I made a difference in someone's life. It's really where the rubber meets the road, isn't it?

While cupcakes or a bottle of wine are very nice, and I'm sure your physicians will appreciate them, a heartfelt letter of thanks is really out of this world (IMHO). I know that this is a self-link, but I wrote a little piece about this in response to an op-ed piece in the NY times. While what I wrote there is similar that what I wrote above, check out the words of Dr. Manoj Jain, who I quoted in my essay.

No matter what you choose to do, thanks for thinking enough to say thanks. I'm sure your physicians and nurses will appreciate it.
posted by scblackman at 6:09 PM on September 9, 2007 [3 favorites]

A very excellent physician that I worked for kept handwritten letters and pictures from patients and surviving family in a special place in his office. I think that he cherished the memory and idea of doing good in the many times when he was powerless to help a patient.
posted by a robot made out of meat at 6:15 PM on September 9, 2007

I don't know about the rules in your area, but medical practitioners (doctors/nurses) are often prohibited from accepting gifts, per the rules of their respective associations.


That rule does not apply to patients, only to drug companies etc. where the gift is more like a bribe. Give freely. When I was a kid, I always loved all the food my dad got from his patients.
posted by caddis at 6:25 PM on September 9, 2007

Handwritten thank-you letters are good, precisely because they're something that so few people actually bother to do these days, and they don't even have a whiff of account-closing payment-for-services-rendered.

If somebody's gone out of their way to help you out, they're motivated by generosity, not by a desire for gifties. The best thing you can do for somebody motivated that way is to let them know, completely unambiguously in writing, how much you appreciate what they've done - and thank them for doing it.
posted by flabdablet at 6:32 PM on September 9, 2007

I have received cards, a bottle of vodka, pens, coffee mugs, and once, a teddy bear with a special hat and vest saying "NEW YEAR'S 2000" bursting out of a special extra-large New Year's 2000 coffee mug.

They're all meaningful to me. I can currently put my hands on all the cards and one of the normal-sized coffee mugs, so if you want a gift with staying power, those would probably be the options.
posted by ikkyu2 at 6:44 PM on September 9, 2007

Please, please, please, for the health of those trying to diet in your physician's office, do not bring tasty chocolate goodies of any kind. I worked for a busy practice with tons of patients who brought in very kind gifts of lovely chocolate goodies, and it was horrible. A veggie tray or fresh fruit would go over like gangbusters with the office staff. :)

Also, some of the things that my physicians loved were special, well thought out gifts. For example, when I left the office (as an employee, not as a patient) I gave the two orthopaedic surgeons really cool color MRI images of joint replacements as artwork for their offices. For the rheumatologist (who read voraciously on her infrequent days off) I gave a large Barnes and Noble gift certificate (and a moleskine with some books I loved.) I knitted something for my office manager that she said she liked when I made another one previously.
posted by santojulieta at 7:12 PM on September 9, 2007

I usually write a thank you note to the practitioners AND, separately, to their managers.

This is a very good idea, but I'd just like to be paranoid about one thing: make sure you don't get them in trouble by mentioning that he didn't charge you full rate. It's probably permissible and surely the "right" thing, but I'd hate for a letter like that to land on a manager's desk right after said manager's superiors have just held a stern conference about poor financial results or something.

Probably nothing you didn't know, but I just wanted to make sure.
posted by fogster at 8:09 PM on September 9, 2007

I was just going to say what fogster said. I end up writing too-vague letters of appreciation to people's managers because I'm afraid of getting the praisee in trouble. They might not want it mentioned, and they might really not want it mentioned in writing.

However, I'm often accused of being overly paranoid about this sort of thing.
posted by small_ruminant at 8:39 PM on September 9, 2007

A veggie tray or fresh fruit would go over like gangbusters with the office staff. :)

You don't make friends with salad.
posted by oxford blue at 9:12 PM on September 9, 2007 [2 favorites]

It's possible to write a note to the manager without disclosing any of the possibly troublesome things the person did. Just say something about them going to great lengths to help you and always conveying enthusiasm and the like. That's enough to get the idea across without getting anyone in trouble.

That rule does not apply to patients, only to drug companies etc. where the gift is more like a bribe.
Again, it depends on the medical field and the jurisdiction, but I do know that the Canadian Nurse Association has a lengthy discussion of appropriate gifts in its code of ethics or something to that effect.
posted by acoutu at 9:47 PM on September 9, 2007

Seconding acoutu: the best gift I ever get as a doctor is when a patient writes to my boss specifically thanking me. Failing that champagne is nice too.
posted by roofus at 1:33 AM on September 10, 2007

I do know that the Canadian Nurse Association has a lengthy discussion of appropriate gifts in its code of ethics or something to that effect.

That makes sense to me to prevent care providers from subtly extorting extra pay from their patients, although without reading the specific rules I would guess that a fruit basket at the holidays would probably be OK. My comments were directed to the US system.
posted by caddis at 6:51 AM on September 10, 2007

Lets say I have intimate knowledge of this issue. Don't purchase a gift, either write a very personal letter or make by hand something for the doc if you have a craft. If you are a musician, ask if it is OK to play in the doc's waiting room for the patients for a while. If you are a carpenter, make something cool, etc.

These things really mean a lot to docs. You'd be very, very surprised how infrequently patients take the time to thank their docs...most patients take their physicians for granted.
posted by Bob Dobbs at 11:37 PM on November 1, 2007