I left a note, but no call.

September 6, 2007 8:32 PM

EthicsFilter. My teenager with a learner's permit backed into a parked car (whilst practicing driving with me in the front passenger seat screaming "no, no, no!"). I left a note with my phone number, asked a passerby whether they knew who owned the car (they did not), and called my insurance company to make a claim. But the owners haven't called and it's been a week -- now what?

I wrote down their license plate number, plus make and model of car. I know they got the note because they went into the corner store bitching about the damage and showed the guy my note. The corner store guy didn't recognize the owners -- he thought they perhaps didn't live around here.

Should I just wait to see if they ever call? Am I supposed to try to find them using the license plate number? (And, if so, how?)

posted by ClaudiaCenter to law & government (21 comments total)

Was there damage to your car?

IANAL, but you did the responsible thing, you left their number - hey, if they don't want to call you and take some of that delicious insurance money for themselves, that isn't your issue. If they don't call, just forget about it.
posted by Zephyrial at 8:34 PM on September 6, 2007

It is possible that the owner did not have insurance or had other legal issues. Furure practice should be in empty places.
posted by longsleeves at 8:40 PM on September 6, 2007

future practice. sorry.
posted by longsleeves at 8:41 PM on September 6, 2007

If you were in North Carolina, you might be charged with Leaving the Scene of an Accident. This is a misdemeanor. North Carolina would want you to call the police when it occurred and to stay there until they arrived. I have no idea what the law is where you live.
posted by flarbuse at 8:43 PM on September 6, 2007

You did everything expected of you, and probably more - our car was hit about a year ago and the hitter left a note, and every body shop we went to for an estimate said "you're lucky - do you know how rare it is that people leave notes like that?"

So if the person that was hit didn't feel like there was much damage, or doesn't have insurance or whatnot, it's not your problem - you did what you should have done.
posted by pdb at 8:44 PM on September 6, 2007

I wasn't really screaming "No, no, no," I was just kidding about that part. Before and since this accident, she has been pretty good for a beginner. She's had about 20 hours of practice so far (including 6 hours of professional lessons). This was her first mistake (albeit a big one) -- she backed up (while I watched to make sure she had room) and then went to go forward but forgot to switch from R(everse) to D(rive). It was partly my fault for not watching her to remind her.

We've done practicing in parking lots, and we will probably do more.

Thanks for all of the thoughts so far. I really appreciate it! Maybe I'll check about the "leaving the scene of an accident" thing.
posted by ClaudiaCenter at 8:53 PM on September 6, 2007

I think you hit someone in the bumper once inevitably while learning, hopefully it's at a pretty slow speed and almost no damage is caused. It's possible that the person didn't notice any significant damage, and just didn't bother contacting you - that much has happened to me before.

As an aside, my sister just recently *nailed* a brand-new white pickup truck while learning, but the two men in the truck were in such a bizarre, panicked hurry that they refused to even exchange information and claimed it was no big deal. I'm guessing that truck was stolen... talk about beginner's luck? (but just so you know, that's also a possibility!)
posted by mek at 9:04 PM on September 6, 2007

I wouldn't worry about it. You've done your duty. At least where I live (MN), if you hit a vehicle with no one in it (i.e. a parked car), you only have to leave your information. I wouldn't worry about a "leaving the scene of the accident" type charge.

Just as a side note, I have recently been involved in 2 hitting of parked cars incidents (I had never hit a car before this, and it turns out I needed a new glasses prescription), and I left notes both times. The people whose cars I hit were SHOCKED that I left notes. One woman wrote me multiple e-mails about how I had restored her faith in humanity (!) and I kind of think she wants me to marry her son now (seriously, she's been dropping hints). It's bizarre.
posted by elquien at 9:10 PM on September 6, 2007 [1 favorite has favorites]

First of all, you have my sympathies (I, too, am a surviving Mom-Of-A-Daughter-Whom-I-Taught-To-Drive, although I must admit her father pitched in too)... As far as the accident is concerned, you did the right thing by leaving the note, but I'm also wondering (as was mentioned above) about your liability in terms of leaving the scene. If you haven't heard anything from the victim, or from the police (regarding the leaving-the-scene part), there probably wasn't enough damage to warrant a claim.
posted by amyms at 9:11 PM on September 6, 2007

I just checked the California Vehicle Code (section 2002). Looks like leaving a note was fine (I wasn't required to stay with the car), but that I was also supposed to file a police report. I'll do that tomorrow.
posted by ClaudiaCenter at 9:19 PM on September 6, 2007

Why not just leave it be? There are lots of reasons someone might not want police in their lives, and if they're happy not following up, why push it?
posted by mediareport at 10:14 PM on September 6, 2007 [1 favorite has favorites]

I'm just throwing my vote in with the "you did what was required of you and more" crowd. It's not like you ran someone down and sped off. It was an accidental fender bender and you left your info if they wanted it - they got it and if they want to contact you, they can. I'd say let it be. Good luck :)
posted by BlackLeotardFront at 10:42 PM on September 6, 2007

You can check on your state's law but I think you've done the right thing by leaving a note and even asking around to see if anyone knew whose car it was.

And let's say, hypothetically, that you do find out that you left the scene of an accident (i.e. you're in a state like Minnesota, where you have to call the cops, rather than like California, where you have to just leave a note) -- what are you going to do about it now? You'll know for the next time not to drive away. But short of going and turning yourself in at this late date, which even the police are going to find bizarre (trust me), what's done is done. Who knows what the driver of the cars were up to, that made them decide not to follow up. Maybe you don't want to know.

Write it off as a learning experience, and tell your young driver that she's just exhausted her One Free Accident in terms of the karmic balance. Next time things may be uglier.
posted by Kadin2048 at 11:26 PM on September 6, 2007

Someone could have taken away your note, so the owner of the car never knew what hit him.
posted by ollsen at 12:53 AM on September 7, 2007

I think it would be an instructive lesson for your teen to go back to the scene (maybe a couple times) and leave additional note(s).

Not that you've done anything wrong or less than you should, but IMO responsibility doesn't end with the immediate situation.
posted by Kickstart70 at 1:27 AM on September 7, 2007

A co-worker of mine rear-ended someone else late at night because he was falling asleep at the wheel. He banged up the guy's car pretty good. When he got out to exchange insurance information the guy told him to forget it because the guy was an illegal immigrant from Mexico. My co-worker felt bad but knew that getting the police involved would just be worse for the guy he hit (he couldn't afford to pay out-of-pocket for the damages either).

You did the right thing. Not everyone is enthusiastic about getting the police or insurance companies involved, though. Let it go.
posted by christinetheslp at 3:04 AM on September 7, 2007 [1 favorite has favorites]

Someone could have taken away your note, so the owner of the car never knew what hit him.

Re-read the question; the poster says, "I know they got the note because they went into the corner store bitching about the damage and showed the guy my note."
posted by mediareport at 4:54 AM on September 7, 2007

If the person contacts you, it's up to you to make good on it. It's their responsibility to contact you though.
posted by drezdn at 6:49 AM on September 7, 2007

How much damage? Of all she did was dent their license plate, or leave a scrape, let it go. It there was damage over that, go back a couple of times & try to find them and leave another note.
posted by theora55 at 7:24 AM on September 7, 2007

I had a friend who lived in a college neighborhood and had his car hit 3 times without notes. The fourth time it was hit there was a note and phone number. He simply called and said "thanks" to the guy/gal for being honest.

On a side note, passengers giving instructions need to be clear and concise.

"Right" is a direction, if you want to confirm something say the driver is "correct".

"LOOK OUT!" isn't nearly as useful as "stop!" or even "car!"

Be mindful of what is worth pointing out and what isn't. If your teen sits too long at a green light that probably isn't a big deal. If he rolls through a red they needs to know that isn't OK. Recognize your child is old enough for this and will be doing this on his own. He/She will take some liberties with what you teach, so make it worth while. Some of my best memories of the time my dad and I spent together are of the time we spent together with him teaching me to drive. How you handle his/her mistakes will be something he/she carries for years to come.

Here is an example from my own life.

We had an old farm truck that was rarely driven when I was learning. One Sunday we went to get a paper, My dad let me drive. The whole way he scolded me for "playing with the wheel". (Swerving it back and forth) I tried to point out that the wheel could be held straight, but the truck would swerve, but he didn't listen. He was so angry that he drove home. The whole way home he didn't say a word and when we got home he apologized. He had the same problem and realized I'd done fairly well dealing with a mechanical problem in the truck. (What I'd now call "play" in the steering wheel) I remember that night clear as day, and when I get angry at something I often wonder if I'm not seeing the whole picture.

Sorry for the rambling...

The lesson you taught your teen is a good one, keep up that "tone" in future sessions and you'll both be happier for it!

posted by TheDukeofLancaster at 8:06 AM on September 7, 2007

Yeah, I pretty much drove through the 1990s without car insurance, so anyone who hit me was pretty lucky. I wouldn't worry about it.
posted by M.C. Lo-Carb! at 8:07 AM on September 7, 2007