And kitty makes 4

September 6, 2007 8:38 AM

My first son should be born any day now. I am concerned about his peaceful coexistence with my cat.

I am unsure as to how compatible a new-born and a 3 year old cat are.
Said cat is friendly/aloof, castrated, non-aggressive but likes to play rough, indoors/outdoors, vaccinated/deparasited and sort of semi-longhaired. He was used to sleeping in our room (on the floor or a chair), but we have been shutting him out so he gets used to it and doesn't relate it to the baby's arrival.
My main concern is that the cat will leap into the baby's crib uninvited, as he loves boxes/bags/cupboards/dirty clothes hampers or anything he can get in to, or decide that the baby is a playmate, and bite or scratch him (playfully, but still), or that the baby might not appreciate the ambient cat hair that floats around our appartment.
What has been your experience with this?

posted by signal to pets & animals (23 comments total)

I'm pretty sure most people will chime in with the same comment as me: We had a cat before a baby and the cat never thought the baby was a playtoy. Can't speak to the cat hair problem. It's always a problem.

With that said of course, you are a first-time parent and it's a normal worry. Best thing you can do is monitor the situation. If something happens, the cat has got to go.
posted by poppo at 8:49 AM on September 6, 2007

Ditto, poppo.
Our cats never gave our kids any problems when babies. They seemed to understand that the new noisy pink animals were not to be trifled-with.

That said, as poppo implies, the cat is on the bottom of the pecking order. If it acts-up or threatens in any way, it has to go.
posted by Thorzdad at 8:59 AM on September 6, 2007

Pregnant women should be careful around cats, but it sounds like you are past this point.
posted by wsg at 9:01 AM on September 6, 2007

We have a three-week-old and a couple of cats.

The key here to convincing the cats that they didn't want to hop in the cot, baby chair, etc, was to gently force them into it a couple of times. Get your cat and go about tucking him in to the crib, blanket and all. Laugh yourself silly. Get a 'MrrAOW!' and a fleeing cat, who'll from then on think the crib is the last place to be.

The extent of the interaction so far is pretty much: cat comes cautiously round, makes quick sniff near baby, does the cat equivalent of a shrug, wanders off. They do the same to my shirts now, figuring out the sources of the milk smell.

One of our two is quite terrified of strange people, but has no fear of other cats, and his reaction to the baby has made it quite clear that the baby is indeed viewed as a wee human, and not some sort of remarkably ugly cat.

We didn't shut ours out of the bedroom, and the baby spends a good amount of time lounging in the bed with us. Kitties occasionally lounge nearby, but do not make any attempt to bother or curl up to the babe.

I do pull a bit of cat hair off the baby here and there, but it seems to fall under the category of something a parent thinks should annoy a baby rather than a thing a baby is actually annoyed by.

Again, only a few weeks' experience, but. All good.
posted by kmennie at 9:06 AM on September 6, 2007

Best thing you can do is monitor the situation. If something happens, the cat has got to go.

I have NEVER heard of a cat attacking a baby or anything like that. What's this "if something happens" that would cause you to dump a family pet like garbage? If "something" happens, I blame the owners fully for letting a situation develop (letting baby grab a tail, not keeping the cat out of the baby's room, etc.) There shouldn't be any problems unless your cat is a psycho that attacks people.
posted by agregoli at 9:06 AM on September 6, 2007

I was concerned about this at one time, too. I have two cats, and when we brought our daughter home from the hospital they were incredibly scared of her. They didn't approach the crib or try to have anything to do with her.

They do make crib tents that you can put over the top of the crib to keep your cat out if it becomes a problem.

Most likely your cat will have the same reaction that mine did, which was along the lines of "WTF is that pink squealing thing? I'm getting the hell outta here."
posted by Ostara at 9:12 AM on September 6, 2007

The leap-into-crib concern is valid and you should be watchful about that. But if he's not into sleeping with you on the bed, he probably won't be inclined to get into sleeping with baby (with potential smothering affect).
posted by beagle at 9:12 AM on September 6, 2007

Thanks for all the answers and reassuring.

wsg: my wife tested positive for toxoplasmosis antibodies before she got pregnant. We're careful that way.
posted by signal at 9:19 AM on September 6, 2007 [1 favorite has favorites]

Our two cats lived like mole-people for weeks after our son was born. It was about 4 weeks before one of the cats lurked over slowly while he was sleeping and very gingerly sniffed his head (while I was holding him).

My son stirred and made an "ehn" noise, and the cat bolted. And while the cats were interested in the crib, it was only a problem while it was empty. There seemed to be a 75 foot radius around the baby that was off limits.

It's only now, and my son is 21 months old, that the cats will wearily peek into his room with some curiosity. Cats really are (usually rightly so) fairly weary of small children and babies.
posted by peep at 9:24 AM on September 6, 2007

Our cats never had a problem with our children - and are amazingly patient with them grabbing, etc.

But if you're really worried about them getting into the crib, you can get a Crib Tent.

We had gotten one of these for the purpose of keeping our cats out, but abandoned it pretty quickly as it became clear that the cats weren't interested in getting into the crib - and the crib tent can be a pain when changing sheets, etc.
posted by nightwood at 9:27 AM on September 6, 2007 [1 favorite has favorites]

I had an un-neutered male cat and a newborn peacefully co-exist. Matter of fact, the cat was a great help to me in the first few weeks I was home with the baby. The cat would jump on my bed and nudge my face whenever the baby made his first slight waking noises. Of course, that could be because the cat knew that he'd get the dregs of any bottle the baby didn't finish!

He was very curious when I first brought the baby home, but soon realized that the kid wasn't going to do him any harm. The cat ended up being more like a protective dog once the baby started crawling. Cat would herd the baby away from table legs and obstacles! And, he used to roll his catnip ball towards the kid... I think he wanted to play!

Cats are smart. I agree with kmennie about making the crib an unappealing place for kitty to explore, if for no other reason than the cat hair is a pain to get off fuzzy baby blankets and toys. I do not believe that cats will smother babies! That's an old wives tale, mostly debunked by (unfortunately) the diagnosis of SIDS.
posted by Corky at 9:34 AM on September 6, 2007

[A couple comments removed—take the garbage argument elsewhere, please.]
posted by cortex at 9:34 AM on September 6, 2007

There shouldn't be any problems unless your cat is a psycho that attacks people.

Well, we have a psycho cat that attacks people (my wife and I included) and she's never gone after either of our kids (3.5 yrs and 5 mos.). We were very concerned when we brought our daughter home, and closely monitored the cat for quite a while, who showed absolutely no interest whatsoever in a newborn. I realize it's hardly a rigorous scientific conclusion, but nearly all* the cat/baby scenarios we're aware of feature one very disinterested cat.

* I hate to break it to agregoli, but my Mom's cousin was rather viciously clawed while sleeping in a bassinet by the family Siamese. That said, it was many years ago, and I haven't heard of any other similar incidents.
posted by jalexei at 9:47 AM on September 6, 2007

While we tried not to shun the cat from our new baby we made sure the cat was never in the same room when the baby was sleeping because the cat always wanted to be in the bassinet/playpin/crib.

Now that the baby is 11months he is the one we really have to watch as "chase the cat" is almost his favorite game.
posted by doorsfan at 9:50 AM on September 6, 2007

We had this worry also, we now have a 3 week old and three cats, and we started shutting them out of the babies room a few months before arrival. We really wanted to be able to leave the door open, and baby gates won't cut it with cats ( damn jumpers ), so we we went all ghetto and took the door off his room, and installed a screen door. Now we can see and hear what is going on in there, and the cats can't get in. We are also thinking of put a car up on blocks in the front yard...

When we first brought the baby home, and I would sit down holding the baby, the cats would jump up, into my lap, as if they had no way of understanding what I was holding, and totally ignoring this wiggling thing in my arms. Once he would cry though they went running. Now there seems to be a "you don't mess with us we won't mess with you" sort of understanding between them all.
posted by brent_h at 10:17 AM on September 6, 2007

Wonder if it's a breed-specific thing? Our Siamese bit the hell out of me when I was a toddler. I deserved it (from the cat's perpective), because I was trying to drag the cat by its tail down a flight of steps. Never tried that again. Cat 1, Me 0.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 10:24 AM on September 6, 2007

Three (female, fixed) cats, three kids, no incidents as babies with any of them. They're wary of babies and mostly avoid them beyond a couple cautious sniffs. That wariness persists well into the toddler years. Our youngest cat does hop up into the bassinet for a nap each new time we break it out, but never when a baby is in there, and after we shoo her out she doesn't try it again until the next baby.
posted by Melinika at 10:26 AM on September 6, 2007

Wonder if it's a breed-specific thing? Our Siamese bit the hell out of me when I was a toddler.

Siamese? Oh, yeah, all bets are off. They are more Tasmanian Devil than cat. Had one, my aunt had two. Quite disagreeable animals. I say this as a cat person.
posted by peep at 10:35 AM on September 6, 2007

I will pile on with what others have said, and note that this was a concern with my wife and I when we brought our son home 3 months ago. We have 2 5 year old neutered male cats, but so far we have had no problems with them. One of our cats is totally indifferent to the baby while the other helpfully lets us know when he is crying, but we haven't had any issues with either jumping in the crib with him or anything like that. As far as cat hair goes, we have tried to brush the cats and vacuum more often, but the baby doesn't seem bothered by the stray hairs that I find on him sometimes.
posted by sbrollins at 11:02 AM on September 6, 2007

sleeping with baby (with potential smothering affect).

I think that fake news story has already been (1) posted to 'Ask,' (2) debunked on 'Ask.' A bit of a non-effect. It doesn't even make sense -- can you imagine how uncomfortable sleeping on a baby's head would be? It also seems unlikely that any modern newborn, especially a preemie, would be subjected to scheduled feedings. Ridiculous scaremongering.

cat hair is a pain to get off fuzzy baby blankets and toys

Try to avoid fuzzy artificial fibre stuff; that poly-fleece so popular for baby stuff is a fur magnet...
posted by kmennie at 12:04 PM on September 6, 2007

I think that fake news story has already been (1) posted to 'Ask,' (2) debunked on 'Ask.' A bit of a non-effect. It doesn't even make sense -- can you imagine how uncomfortable sleeping on a baby's head would be?

I have had 2 cats that would constantly wake me up by trying to sleep on my face. Just sayin'.


It also seems unlikely that any modern newborn, especially a preemie, would be subjected to scheduled feedings. Ridiculous scaremongering.

Although perhaps thought to be as such, It's fairly common for doctors to suggest this. ( not so much a strict schedule, but a loose schedule of when to try and wake the baby to eat. especially preemies.) Our doctor did for our newborn 7 months ago. Problem was, she wouldn't wake up. (born 5 weeks early, wanted to sleep 23 hours a day.)


Now, for my two cents in the argument.... when my son was little, we had a great little cat that - the minute the baby was brought home - turned into a nightmare ball of aggression and claws. He eventually scratched my child twice across his face, barely missing his eyes.

Guess who got the bullet?
posted by bradth27 at 2:39 PM on September 6, 2007

We always figured the cat was there first, and if there was a problem, the kid had to go.

No no, just kidding. Never had an issue. Our experience was 100% like peep's. Cats were very cautious around the baby, and eventually became the best of friends.

(They're all gone now...sniff, sigh)
posted by nax at 4:47 PM on September 6, 2007

Our cats started to mark shortly after our little guy started to crawl. I've been told that's not terribly uncommon. It stopped after a couple weeks. Before he became mobile, the cats would curl up near him, but now they like to keep a room or two away from him.
posted by the christopher hundreds at 7:13 PM on September 6, 2007