How to tactfully ask invitees to a 50th anniversary celebration to pay for their lodging?
September 3, 2007 7:27 PM Subscribe
How would I tactfully ask people I'm inviting to my parents' 50th anniversary to pay for their lodging?
posted by Capri to Grab Bag (17 answers total) 1 user marked this as a favorite
My sister and I are planning a 50th wedding anniversary event for our parents. We'll be renting a castle in Scotland for a long weekend. The castle has several suites, one for each guest-couple. The castle also has all the usual other rooms: living rooms, sitting rooms, smoking rooms, god knows what else people in castles have. Whatever. The point is, we'll be renting the whole castle, arranging for all the meals to be catered, having a special champaigne meal with a string quartet playing for the Saturday night dinner, all that jazz.
We're inviting our parents' friends, who are all roughly the same age, plus or minus a decade. They all live in the U.S. or western Europe, and are all well established financially. They're not Rockefellers or anything, but certainly none of them would have any problem flying to Scotland and staying at a high-end hotel for a long weekend. So I have no doubt that they could all afford this weekend trip if they'd chosen to take it themselves, and that this is exactly the kind of thing they'd actually want to do.
The first question is, is it appropriate to ask them to pay for just the lodging part? I know that if I threw the party in London and suggested a few hotels, they'd have no problem making a reservation and paying for it. But this is different, where I am choosing where they stay and making the arrangements. Does that make it inappropriate to ask them to pay for lodging? (My sister and I would be hard pressed to pay for the whole thing ourselves. We can pay for a fair bit, but it would sure help to have the help of the guests.)
The second question is, if it is appropriate to ask, how would I do that? We are planning to send out very nicely made invitations with all the details, photographs of the castle and our parents when they were young and glamerous, etc. Is there a nice way to ask in here? Maybe include an RSVP form that lists the price per room? All the rooms are esentially the same, so there won't be any price difference among them.
Any advice, experience, etc. you have would be most appreciated. And any other suggestions on the etiquette of all of this would also be appreciated.