What to drink at a R. Kelly party?
August 31, 2007 1:21 PM   Subscribe

I'm throwing a party tonight -- but not just any party. I'm throwing a Trapped in the Closet viewing party. The question is this: what should my signature drink be? A cool cocktail? A faux-cool cocktail? What would R. Kelly do?
posted by rex to Food & Drink (31 answers total) 5 users marked this as a favorite
 
A urine-themed drink made with lemonade. Appetizing!
posted by boreddusty at 1:23 PM on August 31, 2007 [1 favorite]


Or something to appeal to kids and get their panties off. Apple juice and vodka, maybe?
posted by Mayor Curley at 1:27 PM on August 31, 2007


A virgin sex on the beach, call it "sex with a minor"
posted by jimray at 1:28 PM on August 31, 2007 [3 favorites]


A couple options from Extratasty:

A Piece of Ass
Booty Call

Some drinks that don't exist but would be good names:
I Believe I Can Fly
Midget Under the Sink
R&B (rum & brandy, or rye & bourbon)
posted by magnetbox at 1:31 PM on August 31, 2007 [1 favorite]


since he appears to be a horny high school boy at heart, Ruinite (rose, that is klassiest) in a Sonic cup or orange juice and sloe gin (sloe screw, heh heh), oughta be appropriate.

or 40's of MGD.
posted by domino at 1:32 PM on August 31, 2007


Kristal? Moet? Dom?
posted by box at 1:34 PM on August 31, 2007


Courvoisier.
posted by ND¢ at 1:44 PM on August 31, 2007


I got nothing but damn, it sounds fun. I want to come to the party! TITC is freakin' hilarious.
posted by I_Love_Bananas at 1:49 PM on August 31, 2007


Hennessy for the gents, either Alize or Smirnoff Ice for the ladies.
posted by The Straightener at 1:53 PM on August 31, 2007


Some drinks that don't exist but would be good names:
I Believe I Can Fly


I would so drink something called that.
posted by mmascolino at 1:53 PM on August 31, 2007


colt 45 works every time
posted by white light at 1:53 PM on August 31, 2007


R Kelly probably drinks something with cognac, but I think the ideal drink should sound kinda tough, but secretly be kinda gay.
posted by electroboy at 1:55 PM on August 31, 2007


Zimas.
posted by boo_radley at 1:58 PM on August 31, 2007


I'm with I_love_bananas...I don't have any new suggestions but I'd kill for an invite...or at least a chance to be in close proximity to Seattle so I could crash.
posted by notjustfoxybrown at 2:24 PM on August 31, 2007


whatever you drink, it ought to be a diuretic?
posted by juv3nal at 2:27 PM on August 31, 2007 [1 favorite]


I used to bartend in a R&B club, we served a ton of Henne-russians: Hennessy (cognac), Kaluha, and milk. Also, Hennessy/OJ and heinekein.
posted by dghanna at 2:32 PM on August 31, 2007


Around 4 years ago a bartender friend of mine invented a drink special that was named an R.Kelly. Named so because the first person who drank it immediately exclaimed "This tastes like something you'd seduce a 14 year old with" Unfortunately, I domn't remember the exact recipe. It was Amaretto, crown royal, and something fruity. But that doesn't really help you much.

I'm gonna go with Hypnotiq.

When throwing theme parties, it is acceptable to take a regular drink that everybody likes and give it a new name for the night. For example, make a mimosa and call it a "12 play"

R. Kellys transformation into the Weird Al Yancovic of R&B was so gradual that I almost missed it. His new album is insane and hilarious, but mostly insane.
posted by billyfleetwood at 2:40 PM on August 31, 2007


Despite not being a 14 year old girl, I'm guessing that billyfleetwood is referring to the Red Royal - amaretto, crown royal and ginger ale. I prefer mine with three maraschino cherries but I believe only one is standard.
posted by marylynn at 3:06 PM on August 31, 2007


Purple drank, or sizzerp, unless those are both the same thing, which I think they might be. Anyway, they both involve cough syrup.
posted by Vic Morrow's Personal Vietnam at 3:06 PM on August 31, 2007


Add Golden Shower to your drink list. A measure of banana liqueur, measure of rum, Sprite.
posted by sephira at 3:20 PM on August 31, 2007 [1 favorite]


Clearly, hors d'oeuvres should be served with a spatula.

Spatula!
posted by anildash at 3:49 PM on August 31, 2007 [1 favorite]


Jesus juice.
posted by tomharpel at 4:38 PM on August 31, 2007


Ohhh..Almost forgot a drink that's a favorite among my friends: Bailey's and Cognac, on the rocks. We call it a Smooth Criminal.
posted by notjustfoxybrown at 5:06 PM on August 31, 2007 [1 favorite]



This is the remix to ignition
Hot and fresh out the kitchen
Mama rollin that body
Got every man in here wishin
Sippin on coke and rum
I'm like so what I'm drunk
It's the freakin weekend baby
I'm about to have me some fun

Coke and rum. Clearly.
posted by landedjentry at 5:39 PM on August 31, 2007


From the remix to Ignition (that song is my jam, yo):

"It's the remix to ignition
Hot and fresh out the kitchen
Mama rollin that body
Got evey man in here wishin
Sippin on coke and rum
I'm like so what I'm drunk
It's the freakin weekend baby
I'm about to have me some fun"


Coke and rums.

Errr, rum and cokes.
posted by 23skidoo at 5:55 PM on August 31, 2007


dammmit
posted by 23skidoo at 5:55 PM on August 31, 2007


Roofie Colada?
posted by puddpunk at 5:56 PM on August 31, 2007


Something strong. Adults usually don't find midgets THAT funny unless they're pretty drunk.
posted by Orb2069 at 7:13 PM on August 31, 2007


Something with cherries! But not for Bridget, of course, because she is allergic.
posted by librarina at 9:06 PM on August 31, 2007


Oh yes... Riunite on ice. That's nice!
posted by miss lynnster at 10:21 PM on August 31, 2007


Damn, party is probably already in progress.

But I thought you could completely clear out your 'fridge of your normal foods and stock it completely with 40s or the like. For extra effect, stick some dry ice in there and put a (pinkish?) color gel over the light bulb. The intended effect is a glowing, smoking refigerator filled with 40's.

Yes, I went there.
posted by FearTormento at 11:16 PM on August 31, 2007


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