Who pays for a wedding?
August 23, 2007 8:03 PM Subscribe
Wedding Etiquette filter: Who pays for what in a traditional wedding? Specifically I am looking for anything to back up the claim of my future parents in law that the costs for the reception is split between the two families.
posted by remthewanderer to Human Relations (71 answers total) 5 users marked this as a favorite
So I have been engaged for almost 2 years and it is coming down to the time when the fun wedding planning starts. Except that in my case NOTHING has been fun yet. There have been too many fights about different aspects of the wedding. My fiancee seems to get stressed out because of all the things we need to do without realizing that not everything can be done today. I think that some of my worries stem from the fact that my bride to be's parents want my parents to pay for their wedding guests. This is putting real stress on me and I do not think their request is appropriate.
I have less on my guest list than my fiancee does. I also have two younger sisters that my parents will be financially responsible for. My one sister is engaged and the decision has already been made that they will take care of 99% of the finances. My fiancee has told me that splitting the cost of the reception is the new tradition. When I ask around NO ONE that I have brought this up to says it is normal.
I am just frustrated because my parents should not be paying for as much as they are. More than just paying for the wedding her parents are being very controlling about things. I am afraid that the money that her parents spent on the wedding will be held over our heads in the future.
It is getting to the point where I am not sure that I should be getting married at this point. I love my fiancee but I am not sure I can live happily ever after with her parents. I have talked to my fiancee about pre marital counseling and I am in the process of setting appointments up. In the mean time can any MeFiers confirm or deny that splitting the costs of wedding guests is a new tradition? I have seen the following websites and they all state the opposite.
The knot article does have an "Everyone Pays" option but in the article it specifically states that "But just because his family, for example, is giving four times as much money as yours doesn't mean they get four times more say" This is what I am seeing happening. Her parents are paying more so they think they get all the say. HELP ME!