August 20, 2007 1:03 PM Subscribe
My husband is impatient towards our 4 year old. Will he change or is our marriage doomed?
posted by anonymous to Human Relations (31 answers total) 3 users marked this as a favorite
My husband used to be very patient. I am not always an easy person to be with, yet he is always patient with me. When our daughter was born and when she was a toddler, things were still good. I saw other people's marriages suffer when a child was born, but our marriage blossomed. He was a great dad, he played with our child, helped me, never ever complained.
Over the last few months, that has changed. In my opinion, he expects too much from a four year old, and he expresses his frustration the wrong way. He never hits her and doesn't yell, but he sighs and gets irritated about even the simplest things and they get into a lot of power struggles that seem totally unecessary from my point of view. He is also quite inconsistent. He tells her that she cannot do something. She screams, and then he may or may not let her do it anyway. I am not a perfect parent by far. I also have a hard time sometimes, especially at the end of the day when I am tired, but it seems that how I react when I am at my worst, is normal for him.
I start to dislike the weekends and prefer the time that he is at work. That is so unlike me! I used to love our time together. He was between jobs when our child was smaller and it was the best time of our marriage.
We talked about it and he admits he is more irritabe now, but that does not seem to change anything. I am pretty sure he is not depressed. He has a good job and things are actually less stressful than a few years ago. We do not have any financial problems or other things that would explain his impatientness. He still has much more patience with me than with our daughter.
I wonder: is four just a difficult age for some people? Do you think it is likely that things will just get better when she is a little older? General relationship tips are also welcome, but please note that therapy is not an option. We are not in the US.