Sloppy Kisses

August 16, 2007 12:49 PM

Why am I a sloppy kisser?

Every time I french kiss my girlfriend, I see her wiping her mouth as if I slobbered on her (Granted, I actually do feel like my kisses are a little too wet).

What gives? What am I doing wrong?

Help me! What can I do to fix my wet kisses? FYI: I don't remember experiencing this in the past with numerous ex-girlfriends/hookups.

posted by anonymous to health & fitness (12 comments total)

You need to ask your gf this question. Seriously. Only she knows.
posted by i_cola at 12:54 PM on August 16, 2007

I could conjecture that, like me, she finds any amount of moisture on her lips disconcerting, and you're not sloppy at all.

But I could also, and shall instead, advise you to re-read i_cola's response. Because we're not her. And for all we know, or you know, she likes 'em sloppy. Or maybe she'd rather you -

forget it. Go talk to the girl!
posted by Tomorrowful at 1:06 PM on August 16, 2007

Also, is this a bad thing? Sloppy kisses rule.
posted by ORthey at 1:47 PM on August 16, 2007

Eh, my fiancé is kind of sloppy kisser, and sometimes I have to wipe my lips after (so I don't feel like I'm drooling), but I don't care. Ask her what you can do to improve, without mentioning the slobberiness in particular. (If she's not consciously thinking about it, you don't want her to start.)

Also, if you're planning a makeout session, avoid milk-based drinks. I find these tend to create more saliva in my mouth. Orange juice seems to decrease the saliva factor.
posted by desjardins at 1:58 PM on August 16, 2007

Sometimes it's not as much about technique as the size of your mouths- does she have small lips? Try closing your mouth a little more when you kiss and see if it still happens. I'm sure you already know that your jaw should not be on the verge of unhinging while making out, but...
posted by rmless at 2:00 PM on August 16, 2007

Maybe she is the sloppy kisser.
posted by travis vocino at 2:02 PM on August 16, 2007 [1 favorite]

If she's palming her face, she's just rude. If she's touching the corner of her mouth with the side of her finger, you simply need to start thinking of that as sexy.
posted by sageleaf at 2:28 PM on August 16, 2007 [1 favorite]

Remember to breathe, and when you do feel things getting sloppy, consider moving away from her mouth- (anywhere she's not ticklish) ex: ears, neck, face- so that things can dry up a bit. Nibbling is also less sloppy, and very sexy.
posted by solongxenon at 3:47 PM on August 16, 2007

You have to make sure your mouth is open the same amount as hers; any wider and her mouth will be INSIDE your mouth, which leads to sloppiness. Try to keep all the moisture in your mouths, not on the outside at all. Gee, just thinking about mucous membranes makes me want to kiss.
posted by Caper's Ghost at 4:12 PM on August 16, 2007

Hmm. Am I the only one who loves the slobber? Of course, I prefer to be on the receiving end of that. Now that I think about it, eww.

Now that I think about it more, ahh, purr.

Sort of a hard question to answer without, uhm...kissing you...or her. Are you a "my tongue in her mouth" or a "her tongue in my mouth" or a "middle of the road" or a "I'm eating your face" kisser?

If you're a "my tongue in her mouth", then she's limp tonguing you, and there's not much you can do about it.

If you're "her tongue in my mouth" then you're limp kissing her, and it's her slobber, or she's pulling yours back into her mouth.

If you're "middle of the road", then since you're both out of your mouths, where's the slobber to go but everywhere?

If you're "I'm eating your face" kisser, then most likely your girlfriend thinks that's hawt and just doesn't like the feeling of the residue above her lips when you're done. The reason I say she must like it, is that "eating your face" implies passion, and when they DON'T like that, they usually let you know post haste.

Now, I need to find a slobber donor.
posted by TomMelee at 4:24 PM on August 16, 2007 [2 favorites]

As suggested upthread, perhaps your kisses have always been moisture-intense, but this particular girl just doesn't like that sensation.

I suffer from Sjogren's syndrome, which means I have dry eyes and very dry nasal membranes, but unlike most Sjogren's sufferers, I don't have dry mouth. In fact, for some reason, I seem to have an excess of saliva. When I lay on my side in bed to talk to Mr. Adams, I have to wipe my mouth because I drool. And he often teases me about my wet kisses - sometimes he'll make an exaggerated swipe across his face and ask for a squeegee. But he does it in such a way I know he's teasing and doesn't truly mind. You'll have to talk to your GF and find out if your "sloppiness" bothers her, or if she just doesn't like the leftover wetness sensation (like some folks who wipe their mouths after every bite of food).
posted by Oriole Adams at 8:58 PM on August 16, 2007

Also, different people enjoy varying levels of slobbering in their kisses...
posted by darkshade at 8:27 AM on August 17, 2007