Help me not get depressed while living in a hotel for 3 months.

August 4, 2007 4:17 PM

I am going to be away from home for the next 3 months for work, living in a hotel. Help me stay positive and not get depressed.

I definitely want to go to the gym and eat healthy. But a lot of times when I am traveling I eat fast food and watch too much tv. Give me some tips for staying positive and active and not getting depressed. I am in central NJ, and am staying in a hotel room that has a small kitchen.

posted by hazyspring to Travel & Transportation (21 answers total)

Okey, why are you at a hotell for three months?

Step one: There has to be an ultimate goal, right? Remind yourself of that goal. Every day.

Step two: You're not on holiday. These are not lazy days. This is three months that you can prove to yourself that you're capable of taking care of yourself even during stressfull times.

Step three: Write a diary - some sort of postcard to yourself. That really can make a difference (both now and later in your self-review).

Take care.
posted by Rabarberofficer at 4:24 PM on August 4, 2007

Spend as much time out of the hotel as possible.
posted by fire&wings at 4:27 PM on August 4, 2007

go out to dinner with your co-workers / manager / etc. whenever possible. go to local events, work-related or otherwise. sure it may not be the best company or the healthiest food, but it still makes a difference.

eat lots of fruit. definitely go to the gym, or swimming / running / whatever.

this is my experience from 6 months of pharmaceutical/it consulting, spending 5 days a week in delaware and coming back to nyc only on weekends. I had a great time at local company christmas parties, 1-on-1 crab eating contests with my boss, etc.

also, what those other guys said. good stuff.
posted by dorian at 4:48 PM on August 4, 2007

I'd love to be sent to a hotel for work for a little while, but alas, just one night in the past 2 years. There's a gym at the hotel? What a great chance to sustain or improve your working out. I got to the gym the one morning I was sent to a hotel and was quite pleased about it, even though it was a pretty lousy gym.

Maybe buy/bring a timer to limit the amount of time you spend watching TV.

Also consider making meals the day before, or buying Healthy Choice microwavable meals at least, so that fast food doesn't become the easy default.
posted by ibmcginty at 4:48 PM on August 4, 2007

Let me disagree with fire&wings above, but only in theory. Yes, you should get out and see the unfamiliar city, find things to do and keep yourself as stimulated and entertained as possible. That's good advice.

In practice, the question revolves around managing your life in a little tiny 500 square foot box with a kitchenette. I did this last June (2006) for a month in a shitty city, so here's my tips:

1) Stay connected on the computer - keep in touch with your friends on the IM and such, blog if you have to, do what you've got to in order to maintain your connections.

2) Get creative regarding dinner. More than finding unique restaurants, go outside your normal realm and make food you're not used to, working with the natural limitations your kitchenette presents (side note: avoid fish - you ain't got that much room)

3) Spend your weekends "in search of the best." The best CD or book store, the best half day driving trip, the best unique experience you can have within a half hour drive, etc.

4) See what you can do to fly a friend in halfway through your trip. You'll be more acclimated to your surroundings, and can have some good fun doing what you've figured out and the stuff on your to-do list during their stay.

5) Try to weasel your way into a dinner invite or two into a co-worker's home. It'll break it up to have something to look forward to on a Friday.

6) There's nothing wrong with going to movies alone on a Sunday morning. The 11AM matinees are cheap and fairly empty. I saw one comedy all alone in the theatre last year, and it turned out to be a pretty cool experience.

7) Don't put too much pressure on yourself to break up the boredom. What do you do when you're bored at home? If you can develop good habits on the road, more power to you, but if you're in the same rut you were a couple months ago at home? Hey, at least you're not regressing - right?
posted by peacecorn at 4:54 PM on August 4, 2007 [1 favorite]

Extended Stay huh? I think I know what the job is!

This is what I do to survive (but I still find it difficult): Spend lots of time on the phone to anyone from outside work, do stupid projects like a great pedicure or sew clothing alterations, embrace the TV but get a decent bedtime when I'm not working. Make the hotel room my own, and keep it that way.

I go grocery shopping when I first get there so I have stuff to cook or at least heat, and I really like to go buy the little coffee filters that fit the hotel coffee maker, some good coffee, fresh milk and sugar, and make my own uncrappy coffee. I Unpack my clothes when I get there, and set things up how I want. Keep your room tidy. I also bring a down comforter that packs up really small, and toss the nasty hotel one in a corner.

Socialize with folks from work, but don't be afraid to say no, and go sleep. I'd caution against hanging out in your hotel room, in my experience that can get weird fast (don't ask) and just blurs boundaries in a really stressful way. I will not let anyone from work in my room, it's a rule. If you can stand to, make the time in the evening to be really prepared the next day, I don't always do it, but when I do it helps a lot.

Is this your first three month stretch like this? If so (and this is the job I'm guessing it is), be aware that it may be more or less than three months and you may not get to go home when you're counting on it. I've been doing trips like this for a long time, and it still drives me slightly crazy. There's no space to relax, it's either working or being on my own. The phone can help a lot with that, but I still often find myself behaving in really weird ways like driving around at night looking for a 24 hour store for snacks or nail polish, or just looking at stuff.

Good luck!
posted by crabintheocean at 4:58 PM on August 4, 2007

Bring DVDs of your choosing so you're not stuck channel-surfing. Bring books. Bring a project. Particularly portable projects are: knitting, language-learning, writing/blogging, drawing, internet research, keeping in touch with friends/family. I'd also consider doing tasks like getting all my holiday shopping done (online), so that when I get back home, I have more free time to catch up on things that I missed.

I had to live and work in a hotel with a small kitchen for 2 months and it was actually a great time. I took advantage of the gym, didn't allow myself any fast food the whole time, and ended up noticeably increasing my fitness.
posted by xo at 5:00 PM on August 4, 2007

The go to the movies idea is good too, although I've never actually made that one happen.
posted by crabintheocean at 5:02 PM on August 4, 2007

If you're in a hotel room with a kitchen, then keep lots of fresh simple foods. Salads, fruits, juices, etc. Make a pact with yourself not to watch any TV at all. Get out and explore the city you're stationed in. Hopefully it'll be interesting. Have a little project or goal that you've always wanted to do to take up any extra time, like writing or drawing or learning photoshop or some such. I think I'd enjoy the freedom and simplicity of it, at least if it's a decent hotel.
posted by DarkForest at 5:07 PM on August 4, 2007

I spent 9 months (May thru Feb) in a hotel in Winnipeg MB. Summer & fall I cycled (the hotel staff were OK with me keeping the bike in my room); as it got colder I got into the local music scene. I had a few friends at work and we got together regularly. I avoided fast-food, eating mostly at local diners. All-in-all it was an enjoyable 9 months!
posted by yqxnflld at 5:07 PM on August 4, 2007

Hotels, especially if you get to see one up close over an extended period of time, are full of interesting stories. Little soap operas. (I used to work in one.) You will be a "regular" which might cause the staff to let their guard down a little bit. Other guests and hotel employees, many have these little dramas going on that you are able to pick up when you are there more than a few days. If you like to write, these stories can make interesting material.

You can always ask the hotel to take your TV out of your room. It's extreme, but it will force you to get out and about, as well as have a decent bedtime.

You might be able to get a temporary library card.
posted by jeanmari at 5:19 PM on August 4, 2007

Perhaps if you tell us exactly what about the situation you expect to cause depression -- as staying in a hotel for three months isn't the sort of thing that would be inherently depressing -- you'll get some better suggestions.
posted by kindall at 5:31 PM on August 4, 2007

If you're watching too much TV, take the batteries out of the remote and put them in a drawer. The extra few seconds it will take to get the TV back on will give you time to reconsider whether there's something else you'd rather be doing.

Buy a lot of groceries, and always go back and buy more before you run out of what you already have. Otherwise it's easy to say, well, since I don't really have any food here, I'll just go get fast food for now and buy groceries later.
posted by mcguirk at 5:45 PM on August 4, 2007

o hells yes, being a hotel regular is generally a scene for random amusements and entertainments. I'd forgotten about that part...

also, just because you're there alla-time is no reason not to tip for the usual little everyday things. the staff will appreciate you even more, and it will keep you from taking them for granted.
posted by dorian at 5:57 PM on August 4, 2007

Go to cafes and read. It often helps alleviate depression to get out of your room and be around people, even strangers, and reading is much *much* better for your mental health than TV.
posted by mediareport at 6:23 PM on August 4, 2007

I spent four years as a consultant, living out of hotel rooms and for at least half of it, I was the only out-of-towner on the project(s). Everyone else had lives they could go home to every day. So I'd work my 10 hours, and go to the hotel and try to resist doing more work.

Projects are key for keeping your sanity. They can range from planning what you are going to do with your billions of hotel points (one coworker planned a safari) to creating something (web-based doohicky, christmas gifts, learning to cook thai food, seeing every movie Edward G. Robinson was ever in) to taking advantage of the local amenities to explore things you'd never find at home. Explore your city with walking or driving or subway tours. Go to the cheesiest and best and most obscure tourist spots.

Read the local papers - not the big ones, the weeklies and the ones given out for free at subway stops and grocery stores, especially if you will be there on the weekends and not working non-stop. Go to street fairs and church bazaars and ethnic celebration festivals. You can find yourself out flying kites one weekend, trying fresh Greek pastries the next, and biking along the river the third week for the cost of a day bike rental (half-price with coupon).

Grocery shop for a few days at a time. This allows you opportunities to break any bad eating backsliding after a short binge. When you do go out, choose things you'd never make for yourself (or if you would make it, make sure you're getting a super-fantastic version of it). Be adventurous.
posted by julen at 6:59 PM on August 4, 2007

This is going to sound silly, but I always find that a hotel feels more like . . . not my home, but a home, at least, if I shove all the hotel stuff in a drawer and unpack all my clothes, even if I'm only going to be there for a day or so. Somehow hiding all those little cable TV guides and table tents and local attractions magazines helps me forget I'm not in my own space, which makes me feel much more at ease. Placing my clothes in the closet and hiding my suitcase helps to extend the illusion.
posted by littlegreenlights at 10:12 PM on August 4, 2007

excellent suggestions - and I do like littlegreenlight's 'make it feel like home' suggestion. I bring tealight candles with me when I travel, and a little bit of domesticating a location (especially a hotel room) goes a long way.
posted by rmm at 10:48 PM on August 4, 2007

Two and half years spent living in hotels here - here's my tips for survival:

- Ask the hotel staff to remove the TV. Sure, you might get a few odd looks, but if it's a standard business hotel, they'll have had stranger requests.

- Get a project. I wrote my first (execrably bad) novel in a hotel room. Going out and eating with colleagues can get harsh on the waistline (and if this is the UK, on the liver!), but all my colleagues knew I was 'writing a novel' and had a word count to meet, so it was a handy get-out clause - 'Sorry, gotta go back to the hotel and get on with my novel!'

- Bring along a world-band radio. If you get bored in the evenings, nothing like surfing through BBC World Service or random stations in the Caribbean to provide some alternative listening.

- Books, lots of books.

- Don't fall into the trap of perma-work. While a working trip like this isn't a holiday, neither is it a reason to work around the clock. There's the tendency to think to yourself 'my employer is paying for this hotel, I better keep working until midnight' or 'I don't have anything to go back to except an empty hotel room, might as well keep working'. Make time for yourself, and remember that the reason your employer is paying for a hotel is because they have caused you to be away from home - they're not doing you a favour, so there's no reason for you to sacrifice your (dislocated) personal time.

- Revel in it. Hotels can be pretty cool. Someone brings you a paper in the morning, people will provide or take away stuff with a quick phone call to reception, and someone makes your bed every morning. While it gets a little wearing after longer than two or three days, try to appreciate the little things you've been freed from.

- Be very pleasant and friendly to hotel staff. Make yourself the customer they remember because you're the lovely chap/chapess staying in 12B for three months. If anything goes wrong (big hotels have outages of hot water and things quite often - you'll get to see that living in one for longer than a two-day stretch!) they'll bend over backwards to help you out, because you're a 'resident', and a nice person. Karma, man.
posted by Happy Dave at 2:05 AM on August 5, 2007

Oh Happy Dave, like you I spent 2.5 years living in hotels. There was indeed a night of insanity when I seriously considered throwing everything out the 2nd-floor windows just because of the boredom...

In my situation it was in another country, in places where I didn't speak the languages (though I did try)

So, I got through it by:
1. Emailing and writing letters to friends and family (real physical letters, with stamps and everything, requiring me to get out of the room and interact with people in the post office. I think I learned most of my Danish at that little posts office)

2. Making local friends or acquaintences. The hotel I stayed in had a pub underneath. On occasion I'd go out with the bar staff. As a rule, the hotel staff were pretty good. I discovered some fantastic music just by striking up conversations with people at random places during the year I was in Stockholm.

3. Lots of exercise. Bonus if it involves social interaction, too.

For me it was making a conscious effort to mix with people that got me through the 2.5 years. I'm not really a people person, but I found that the mix of being overseas/not knowing local language/long work hours/uncertain work requirements/***hotels not having a kitchen**** made it a difficult time - and I just craved company.
posted by flutable at 3:36 AM on August 5, 2007

I do the traveling thing too every week. I have found recently that the fact that you are all alone can be a really interesting time to meet people and listen to their stories. Go to random places, strike up conversations, and most importantly ask questions. If you're into music, ask about the music scene in the area. If they don't know anything about it, find another person that does. If anything, since you have extra time on your hands all by yourself, you're more willing to listen to some random person ramble on for about an hour, at which point you might actually realize that his stories are kind of interesting.
posted by ets960 at 11:41 AM on August 27, 2007