How do I tell my employer that I am depressed and require reasonable accommodation?

August 4, 2007 12:41 PM

What's the proper way to disclose my disability to my employer (a nonprofit) so that they know what reasonable accommodations to provide me with?

I've been depressed for a fairly long time, but have incurred some post-traumatic stress from a previous job situation I was in. I want to be clear that I'm currently dealing with depression and recovering from some trauma, and that have some very reasonable requests. I'm not sure if I write a letter, have my psychiatrist write a letter or what. In my letter, I imagine I should write down what my reasonable accommodations are, such as being allowed to see a doctor and counselor in the middle of the day once a month.

I also think I would feel less anxious if I could stop trying to hide my depression, because I'm super effective and it's generally under control. I just need for them to understand that they can't take their crazy abusive anger out on me and apologize for it later, like my boss at my last firm did.

I know a lot of people say "Don't disclose" but I am sure I want to and have seen a lot of people successfully disclose their depression.

The question is: how? A letter? Verbally? How much do I actually have to explain?

Thanks in advance.

posted by onepapertiger to Work & Money (21 answers total)

I do exactly this type of law in your jurisdiction. This one is more delicate than you might think. I'd suggest a lawyer from the start.
posted by Ironmouth at 12:53 PM on August 4, 2007

Does your employer large enough to have FMLA?
posted by docpops at 12:56 PM on August 4, 2007

This isn't an answer to your question, but I would advise against disclosing your "depression." I put it in quotation marks because not everyone, including your new employers, understands what depression is, and obviously there will be some stigma attached to it.

You say that your condition does not affect your productivity or your professionalism. So why is it any of their business?

If you have to see a doctor once a month, why not explain that up front without mentioning the depression? I just think it's a red herring that makes your condition sound more serious than it is.

I just need for them to understand that they can't take their crazy abusive anger out on me and apologize for it later, like my boss at my last firm did.

This is unusual behavior for an employer, and your new boss will likely be offended or weirded out if you suggest they will act in this way toward you.

Why not work with your mental health provider to develop effective communication skills and strategies to deal with these sorts of situations?
posted by KokuRyu at 12:56 PM on August 4, 2007

The reason he has to disclose is that legally he has no protection under the disability laws unless he does.
posted by konolia at 1:02 PM on August 4, 2007

Note: onepaper tiger is a she, and not a he.
posted by philomathoholic at 1:11 PM on August 4, 2007

This is unusual behavior for an employer, and your new boss will likely be offended or weirded out if you suggest they will act in this way toward you.

I have to agree with this as a possibility. Presuming from the start that your new employer is going to behave crazily or abusively will not get you off on the right foot, and makes the situation not about the facts of your disability (and your legitimate needs for accommodation) but about an assumption you're making about their workplace culture.

Besides, I am under the impression -- IANAL! -- that "reasonable accomodations" for disability means accomodating your needs in a specific, material way -- for example, making a workstation physically comfortable or accessible, allowing time for regular doctor appts. (as is applicable in your case), giving instructions in a written form, etc. I don't know that "reasonable accomodation" means dictating how other people in the workplace are allowed to interact with you.

Besides, no one should be subject to crazily abusive behavior in the workplace, whether they have depression or not. Your depression is not what made your former boss's behavior unacceptable; it would have been just as unacceptable if you'd never been depressed a day in your life.
posted by scody at 1:15 PM on August 4, 2007 [3 favorites]

Seconding scody. You should not need a lawyer for something like this. Explain your specific needs up front, providing precise documentation from your psychiatrist, and most people will respond accordingly... you shouldn't have to suffer abuse in any workplace, and it's more straightforward than you might think.
posted by StrikeTheViol at 1:46 PM on August 4, 2007

(IANAL, however IADisabled, and IHBDepressed.)
posted by StrikeTheViol at 1:49 PM on August 4, 2007

Thirding. It is not up to your employer to decide what a reasonable accommodation should be. It is up to you to request a reasonable accommodation. And I cannot conceive of what a reasonable accommodation for depression would be.
posted by yclipse at 1:49 PM on August 4, 2007

IMNAL, but I am a manager of staff in a large company. When these types of requests come up, managers are instructed to immediately refer this to HR. HR always engages our legal team to ensure the employee rights and the companies rights are fully defined and protected.

With that experience I'm going to suggest you engage some legal help. If a private lawyer is beyond your financial means, there is probably assistance available through mental health agencies in your area.

Plus, Ironmouth does this for a living and thinks you need some legal assistance. Lawyer it is!
posted by 26.2 at 2:09 PM on August 4, 2007

I just need for them to understand that they can't take their crazy abusive anger out on me and apologize for it later, like my boss at my last firm did.

If the new boss is like this, he or she is a jerk. And asking a jerk to try not to be a jerk, well... good luck.
posted by IvyMike at 2:18 PM on August 4, 2007

When I worked retail, I had PTSD plus panic attacks. My employer was surprisingly understanding about letting me off my register for a few minutes when I needed it. It wasn't often, and it usually happened when it wasn't so busy that they couldn't spare me, but when it was busy I usually had my mind kept off it anyways.
posted by IndigoRain at 2:47 PM on August 4, 2007

I am not (quite) bold/jerky enough to tell you that you're not disabled.

But, if I needed to go to the doctor once a month for whatever reason, but other than that it didn't influence my work and I needed no accomodations from my employer other than the appointment, I sure as hell wouldn't go telling anyone I was disabled.

You should use your leave or sick time as appropriate, once a month, for your appointment. Or if the job allows it, schedule around it. Lots of people leave work routinely for a doctor, dentist, AA meeting, whatever. You should do that too.

I can't imagine why you want to make an issue out of this above and beyond what you actually need from your employer.

To strictly answer your question, so I'm not OT, I'd say you should announce it informally, and disclose as little as possible. "I'll have a doctors appointment the first week of every month, what kind of leave should I take for that?"
posted by putril at 5:13 PM on August 4, 2007 [3 favorites]

A lot of this depends on how big your nonprofit is. I work for a very small nonprofit and I was very upfront with my boss when I was hired - I just said, look, I'm recovering from depression and I need to see somebody once a week during regular business hours and I'm willing to work that time out with you however you would like to. They were cool about it then (a year ago) and remain so. So I think the very first thing you should do is figure out exactly what you do need - time off? Extra space? - from your employer and then state that clearly. Now, obviously, if your job is big enough to even have an HR department, it's a whole different ballgame and I'd listen to Ironmouth, but if it's more like the kind of nonprofits where I work, I'd just be quietly honest - and very specific - with your boss.
posted by mygothlaundry at 5:13 PM on August 4, 2007

I just need for them to understand that they can't take their crazy abusive anger out on me and apologize for it later

This question might be easier to answer if you made it clear whether or not the new boss is actually like this, or if it's just a worry that history will repeat...?

If it's the latter, I don't know that there's a way to relate "depression," "disability," and some sort of blanket "you must not be cruel to me." I don't understand what you're trying to do at all. But if it's the former, surely (? IANAL) it's an employment issue that has nothing to do with your being depressed/disabled.

If that's really all you need from your employer -- no cruelty -- and there hasn't been any yet -- button up. IHBDepressed, and promise there is almost never any point to advertising it.
posted by kmennie at 6:20 PM on August 4, 2007

I'm the CEO of a small non-profit (15 staff). I do everything I can to accommodate the individual needs of my staff, whatever they are.

If all you need in terms of accommodations is to be able to attend an appointment once a month, if this can be done under your existing sick time policy, use that means.

If the accommodation needed is more than that, I would recommend a private conversation with the Director/CEO, explain the situation and see what the response is. If it is not within the dictates of the law regarding disabilities, then hire an attorney.
posted by HuronBob at 6:34 PM on August 4, 2007

putril, in terms of the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA), onepapertiger has not given us enough information to determine whether she is disabled.

onepapertiger, you might want to do some research about the ADA and depression - here's a brief, introductory article.

I agree with what others have said about making sure you know exactly what acomodations (if any) you will require in order to do your job. If the only thing you need is to be able to go to a once-monthly appointment, you can easily address that without couching the situation in terms of mental illness, disability, etc. Given that people's reactions to such things are wildly variable and unpredictable, I would avoid disclosing at the outset if at all possible. This is NOT because you have anything to be ashamed of; I simply believe that this will serve you better in the long run.

Talk to your psychiatrist/psychologist about this - in my experience, they should be able to give you a much more precise idea about how to approach things, and they'll also be able to help you think through your needs based on the particularities of your illness.

I have found that the majority of people to whom I've disclosed this sort of thing have been kind, understanding (or at least tried to be), and - more than anything - concerned above all that I get the depression treated. Again, though, it's hard to predict people's reactions. Some people hear the word depression, and translate it as "lazy," "unstable," "crazy," etc.

Based on your previous questions, I see why you're worried about the people at your new job. Also, I know what you mean about feeling like you have to hide your symptoms - that can be very stressful. I would be careful, though, in how you present yourself when it comes to this. It may not be interpreted how you intend, and might backfire.

If possible, hold off on saying anything about it (other than that you have a regular doctor's appointment once/month - you don't need to say why!). As you get to know the people at the new job, you'll have more of a feel for how they might react should you need further accommodations in the future. That way, you come in with a "clean slate," rather than presenting yourself as having mental health problems. Later on, if things start to get bad, you'll have a much better idea about how to address it with your employer.

I'm not a lawyer - this is just advice based on my experiences with depression and employment.

Finally, more specific to your question: do you have ANY reason to expect that your new employer is going to have "crazy abusive anger"? Or is this a fear based solely on your experiences at your last job? It sounds like the latter - if that's the case, address it with your therapist, and don't say anything about this to the new employer! The odds of that happening to you again are very, very slim, and if someone started a new job telling me I couldn't "take [my] crazy abusive anger out" on them, I would immediately be on guard. If you have any reason to suspect that you're heading into a similar situation as your last job, the answer is simple - find a different job.

Give the new employer/co-workers the benefit of the doubt, and try to get a feel for the situation before disclosing your depression. Wanting to "come out" about it is perfectly fine and understandable, but again, I think things will work out much better for you if you take some time (a few weeks, a couple of months - something like that) to get the lay of the land first. If your symptoms of depression/PTSD are "generally under control" as you say, this seems like something you should be able to do.
posted by splendid animal at 9:20 PM on August 4, 2007 [1 favorite]

i would just say, when you come to hashing out the schedule, that you have a medical condition that requires monthly checkups but that it will not interfere with your work and that you'll be happy to work late one day a week to make up the missed hours.

as for how they deal with you, you really can't tell them up front not to yell at you, because then you're anticipating conflict that may not exist. that's something you'll have to deal with if/when it happens.
posted by thinkingwoman at 6:41 AM on August 5, 2007

At work we always judge our coworkers and employees by how valuable they are, and how trustworthy they are. The trustworthy piece has two elements - dependability and honesty. It's a good idea to develop a strong reputation for value and trustworthiness before revealing anything that might shake your boss's faith.
I wonder if, for some reason, you want people to relate to you as a little shaky? I didn't see any reason for you to actually mention any of this to your current boss, and to be honest, if you were my employee and you came to me with this as an ADA request, I'd immediately think you were trying to get out of the regular stresses of any workplace.
Work is hard, which is why they pay us to be there. My advice is, to put it simply, pull up your big girl panties and show them you're valuable and trustworthy. With time and therapy, your previous issue will fade and you can move on.
posted by pomegranate at 6:47 AM on August 5, 2007 [3 favorites]

I do what Ironmouth does, only in California. For local-to-you resources, you might try the American Association for People with Disabilities (president Andy Imparato has bipolar disorder) or the Bazelon Center for Mental Health Law. Or you can call me at The Legal Aid Society -- Employment Law Center. (I hate our web site, and have no control over it -- don't judge.)

Re legal stuff -- this is general information and not specific to you or your situation. People with nontraditional or less visible disabilities who are seeking nondiscrimination and reasonable accommodations in the workplace face some uphill challenges in many jurisdictions, primarily around the definition of disability. The ADA's definition (which was originally intended to be broad) has been construed by the courts to exclude many many people with a broad range of episodic conditions, such as depression or seizure disorders.* The District of Columbia's local law essentially mirrors the ADA. D.C. Code § 2-1401.02(5a). (California has a very broad definition, fortunately.) Also, to be covered by either the ADA or the DC law, your employer needs to have a particular number of employees. (The federal law requires 15.)

*This will not be the case forever and ever. The ADA will be amended someday -- probably within five years -- to fix these problems.

Re disclosure versus nondisclosure. This is not only a legal decision, it is also a personal decision. It depends upon a number of factors, and you are going to be the only person who can weigh all of the factors (with advice and counsel as needed). Some of the factors include: risk of discrimination or stigma; hope of positive employment experience and reasonable accommodation; accessing legal protections; avoiding scrutiny; living openly; your sense of your particular employer; etc., etc.

I have spoken to dozens of people with depression and other hidden disabilities about this decision. There is no "right" or "wrong" decision that applies in every situation.

I'll give my own story as an example. I never disclosed (or even considered disclosing) my own depression and mood swings throughout many jobs. However, after I was in my current job for about 6 months, and was situated and connected to people, I did end up disclosing (for a variety of reasons, none particularly thought through at the time). I have had a positive experience, and have found it to be easier to live in a more open manner regarding mood stuff (and that the mood stuff actually decreases when I can be relaxed and open). For me, I believe that my own positive experience is due to several factors, including that I have a very good employer, and I had and have connections and good relationships with my co-workers and supervisors. Also, since I work in disability discrimination law, my personal experiences are an asset to my community and legal work. So it is very specific to the context in which I exist.

So, there is no one-size-fits-all answer to this question. But there are a few trends -- Most people do not disclose during the interview/application process. And among people who decide to disclose, most try to establish themselves in a new workplace and have some relationships in place before dislosing.
posted by ClaudiaCenter at 11:36 AM on August 5, 2007

For a different vantage point:
I once hired a guy "with problems" as a favor. Clinical depression/ADD/ADHD/other stuff we never got the details on. His medication came from some state funded agency, and varied from day to day, depending on what they decided to pay for this week. It was a little difficult when he ran out of speed. We overlooked the first time he disappeared for a few days (and later found out he had borrowed a car, and gotten busted for DWI out of state, and they wouldn't give him the car back because he wasn't the owner of record.) It quickly became obvious he had recently spent a lot of time in some sort of institution. The second time he was no call-no show for several days, we made sure he didn't come back.
Your new employer may have a similar story in their past. You probably don't want to risk triggering those kind of memories.
< /The plural of anecdote is not data. That's just one opinion, one time.
posted by unrepentanthippie at 12:13 PM on August 5, 2007