Non-tourist Amish visit without being rude?

August 1, 2007 10:10 PM

How to visit Amish country in Ohio? I want to get beyond the for-tourist world and learn something more authentic about plain culture, but I don't want to be a rude outsider. Where should I go? Who should I talk to? What should I say?

I'll be spending the day tomorrow (and again for later visits, I'll bet) poking around Holmes County, Ohio, hoping to get a good feel for "plain" living. I'm trying to do some research before I go, but, you know, they're Amish and not well represented online. So, what should I see?

I hope to avoid the kitchy, touristy crap (read: Der Dutchman restaurant), off the beaten path stuff, places where the dopes in RVs never see.

What do I hope to see/learn/experience? I want to learn how this culture really lives. I don't care about the furniture that they build for outsiders, but what they use in their homes. I want to talk to some Amish so that I can overcome my ignorance that consigns them to "them." If they were non-religious middle-American farmers, I could (try to) find a local cafe, bar, feed store and stand around and listen, and eventually try to strike up a conversation. Do Amish go to cafes? Is it rude to strike up a conversation with an Amish man? Yes, I'm shockingly ignorant, and hoping to be less-shockingly-ignorant before I do something offensive.

I know they're a society that keeps themselves intentionally separate, and I want to respect their beliefs, but I also want to respectfully understand them on their own terms. So whether it's Amish or Mennonite or plain-living Quaker, how can I experience their world?

posted by terceiro to society & culture (11 comments total)

I found this. It spoke more of the Pennsylvania Amish, but googling under "converting to Amish" brought up a lot of interesting results.
posted by Sassyfras at 10:30 PM on August 1, 2007

I don't know that part of Ohio, but we have an Amish community in my town, so I'll speak from my experience.

You'll most likely find them on the farm, probably with a stand in the front yard selling veggies and baked goods. Others might be set-up in a more high traffic area selling baskets or quilts out of the back of a buggy. If there's a farmer's market, you'll find some families there too. That's where you can get some conversations started.

I'd say a farmer's market is your best bet. Around here the farmstands are often unstaffed, with just a hole to drop money in after you take your goods. So it may be harder to start a conversation unless you happen to catch someone while they're restocking the stand. I also think you'd be more likely to find men at a Farmer's market. The Amish schools in this area only go to the 8th grade, and teach German first and English second. Although the men may get further education, I think that's the limit of the girl's education, so it's harder to communicate.

As a last suggestion, you may have luck spending your evenings at the local ice cream stand. That seems to be the hot hang-out for the unmarried Amish to meet with the opposite sex. Just say hi and see how things go. And as for what they use in their homes, I gotta tell you, they shop at the same stores as you and I. They just bring it home in a buggy instead of a Subaru.

I think you may need some more research though. Quakers are a completely different religion from Amish or Mennonite and don't keep themselves culturally apart from everyday America the way the Amish and Old order Mennonite's do.
posted by saffry at 10:53 PM on August 1, 2007

saffry: Thanks for your info.

Re my comment about "plain" Quakers comes from my reading The Plain Reader and A Plain Life: Walking my Belief, both by Scott Savage, a Quaker man who lives in the same "plain" way that the Amish do. He avoids most tech, farms with horses, and dress in the "plain" style. I've seen his kids selling their organic produce at the local farmer's market and, if I hadn't read his books, wouldn't have been able to tell (visually) the difference between his Quaker life and Amish life. I have Quaker friends, however, who are as mainstream American as anyone I know. Perhaps Savage is a one-off; I had presumed he was representative of a movement of some sort. Regardless, it's the "plain" I'm interested in.
posted by terceiro at 5:44 AM on August 2, 2007

Progressive Dinner in Amish Homes -- and other options on the menu.

There are plenty of historical societies and tourist package companies and everything in between that will give you what you want without making you an ass trotting up the lane and saying "You're different, can I spend some time with you?"

The Amish are actually a range of smaller sects with different viewpoints on the modern world. Not a whole lot different, but different enough. Not every community is going to be open to tourists and looky-loos but many have adapted and found it a great way to make money on the side, especially as farming culture declines (yes, even among the Amish, you have people getting factory jobs to achieve a middle-class lifestyle).
posted by dhartung at 5:48 AM on August 2, 2007

My dad was a Quaker (briefly) and so was Richard Nixon, but there are still Conservative Quakers out there. I get the impression, though, that there are few full-fledged communities of plain-living Quakers anymore.
posted by dhartung at 5:51 AM on August 2, 2007

It's pretty hard to experience the life of a baptized Amish man or woman. Some Mennonite communities are indistinguishable from mainstream American life. (As an aside, the Amish are interesting in that they haven't produced a fundamentalist sect. New iterations of the religious are always more liberal.)

Most people think the Amish and Mennonite use no electricity. In general though, if the building is not Amish owned and has electricity, they may take advantage of it, for instance while renting. Telephones for Amish homes are usually located outside of the house, often attached to the barn. Length of skirt, color and pattern of fabric, and size of female head covering speaks to strictness of sect (in some cases this is too small to call a bonnet). So, if you want to talk to a very strict Amish woman, find a lady with a long solid colored dark dress (no flowers patterning it) and a bonnet that covers her ears entirely.

Also know that there is Rumspringer before baptism in the teenager years, and Amish/Mennonite have an over 90% retention rate for a very strict religion. Do not try to convince these kids that they don't want to live this life. Their parents and churches make it very clear to them that they ought not be baptized if they cannot commit to a life in the Church. Failure to become baptized is not nearly as big a deal as changing your mind after baptism. Some families will have members who belong to different sects. That is generally considered acceptable. Better to join a different church than none at all.

Community enforcement of standards and mores is strong. Being placed under the Ban is a social avoidance tactic that (temporarily or otherwise) destroys the social circle of the transgressor. Operating a car, skipping church, blaspheming are some things that would get you banned if you didn't stop doing them after someone spoke to you about it. This is why people choose more liberal sects, where car driving and other activities are permitted.

Even some of the strictest Amish boys are more likely to adopt English dress than some of the most liberal Mennonite girls during Rumspringer. Some of the kids move out of the parental home during that time. Amish don't marry unbaptized, and they don't marry the non-Amish.

If you have time to get some books on this subject I have read and suggestThe Riddle of Amish Culture by Donald B. Kraybill and Amish Society by John Hostetler.

Feel free to email me if you have any specific questions.
posted by bilabial at 6:03 AM on August 2, 2007

Oh, and I have seen Mennonite teen girls in a Bennigans, singing along to Whose Bed Have You Boots Been Under. They shop in a lot of the same places as everyone else for many things.

It is true that you shouldn't ask to take photographs, but it's extremely true that you shouldn't sneak pictures of them. They understand that the English (that's us) take pictures of people, and have faces on our dolls. They Amish don't do that, as a general rule. Also, don't try to discuss sex with a stranger (either grammatical interpretation of that would work!).

The Amish and Mennonite have little intention of keeping themselves completely separate. For what it's worth, land prices have been going up and it's harder to make a go of it with a small family farm. And harder still to divvy up a small farm among the sons of the family. More and more Mennonite and Amish are doing work outside the home for pay. They build homes and furniture, they sell things in retail stores, and they work hard. They do still remove their children from school fairly young to help in family businesses and home life. Some disaffected Amish express concern at this.

Most importantly, remember that they are people. Much in the same way that it's inappropriate for all of your conversations with gay people to revolve around how their big gay life must be so much different/harder/more/less interesting than yours, so it is with the Amish. Treat them as individuals, and find out what they feel about marriage or cooking or wearing an apron and a shawl (which protect the modesty of the pregnant woman and the breastfeeding woman respectively, since all women wear these garments in the stricter sects, you can't easily tell whose body is doing what.)

What else shouldn't you do? This is obvious but requires saying: don't try to convince them that they're crazy. They will probably repay the kindness. Also, don't pretend that you're interested in trying to convert. They don't seek to convert people, and many actively discourage it.
posted by bilabial at 6:29 AM on August 2, 2007

And as for what they use in their homes, I gotta tell you, they shop at the same stores as you and I. They just bring it home in a buggy instead of a Subaru.

Yeah, I think you might be surprised that YOU are the one with quaint beliefs. From brief experience in Pa, the local Target is full of Amish families, who have their own separate buggy parking lot outside. Lots of them have cellphones now for petesakes.
posted by CunningLinguist at 8:15 AM on August 2, 2007

Here's an interesting story from Wired about the Amish and technology.
posted by CunningLinguist at 8:17 AM on August 2, 2007 [1 favorite has favorites]

I lived smack in the middle of a large Amish community, and my Dad worked for a while at a factory that employed 90% Amish. The thing is, they try to limit their interactions with the "English." Holmes County is so touristic that it's hard to have any real encounters. They have tours where you can visit a working farm, help make dinner, etc... That might be your best bet.

The other thing that will help, and this might sound kind of weird, is if you speak any German. We go to auctions every once in a while, and there's always a fair number of Amish there, but they kept to themselves...that is, until my husband greeted one in German. Within minutes, there was a crowd of flat brimmed hats around him (all men, none of the women came over) talking rapidly and comparing their dialect to what they called "High German." It was a 100% change from the slightly dour looks of a moment before - now they were all smiling and animated. Addresses were exchanged, and everyone had a great time chatting.
posted by Liosliath at 2:33 PM on August 2, 2007

Quick report on my experience: While driving around on some quiet rural streets, we stopped at a home that had a sign up selling fresh produce. Bought the veggies, then we looked at baskets. One of the boys offered to show me the barn. After chatting for a bit, another boy brought in a load of hay to load into the barn. I offered to help and the next thing you know it's two hours later, we're sitting on the grass chatting. They gave my kids rides in the buggy; we shared candy and stories, and one of the boys invited us to come back this winter to try out his favorite sledding hill. Shortly before we left, the father came in from cutting the last of the hay and his wife said, "I was afraid he was going to miss the company!" We were company, not just some looky-loo English. Or maybe they were just polite; either way it was nice for us.

On our drive home, talking with the kids, we weren't thinking about "those Amish people" but the Millers. It was exactly what I was hoping for. I'm no expert on Anabaptist cultures, but we are past the look-at-those-funny-people thinking.
posted by terceiro at 8:59 AM on August 3, 2007