The other option is a planned chip pan fire...

August 1, 2007 7:20 AM

How do I revive a kitchen when we can't change it?

We live in a rental house where the landlord has said we can make any changes we want. We painted the living room bright yellow as a test and he didn't even notice.

The whole house now suits us. Except for the kitchen, which is a depressing hell-hole. No matter how clean it is, it still looks and feels dirty. The floor is a scrappy lino. The walls are almost entirely covered in cheap wall units and any 'visible' bits are covered in what look like (damaged) cork floor tiles. The ceiling has been artexed and traps every spiders web, bit of dirt and kitchen grease.

So... how do we cheer it up? We have no problem with painting rooms, but I dread to think what's behind the cork. Replacing the floor means moving all the floor units. Making the cupboards anything other than their boring "once-upon-a-time-white" seems to risk making it even smaller and more depressing.

Help?

Extra info... it's a victorian house, dropped in the middle of the countryside. It's a galley kitchen with doors at both ends. Two people can work in there but three just turns into a game of culinary twister.

posted by twine42 to home & garden (25 comments total)

Do you have any photos?
posted by jeanmari at 7:26 AM on August 1, 2007

Two quick suggestions would be vinyl tiles for the floor (there are several nice options for around a dollar a square foot, and installation is dead-easy) and pressed tin tiles for the ceiling, if you like that look.
posted by ersatzkat at 7:27 AM on August 1, 2007

jeanmari - no pictures atm, but I could probably find some in a few hours time. I should have thought this through more. ;)
posted by twine42 at 7:30 AM on August 1, 2007

For the floor, maybe an area rug made with commercial-quality carpet. I know carpet + kitchen doesn't usually mix, but I had a victorian house with horrendous floors and had such carpet installed, and loved it. I got a good deal on a remnant, so I figured if I had to replace it in a year or two, I would still have my money's worth. I used some small contrasting rugs in front the stove and the sink, so I could clean or replace them easily.

The carpet held up very well, even with a baby eating at the kitchen table. A steam-cleaning a couple times a year kept it looking fresh. It helped that I didn't do a lot of frying or grease-heavy cooking. It's unorthodox, but may be worth considering, especially if you can find an inexpensive remnant.

Do be careful with any solution that involves ripping up the linoleum. You never know what's underneath, and you could get yourself into a Money Pit style situation.

Don't be afraid of color on the cabinets. It's a traditional misbelief that using dark or rich colors make things look smaller, and that's not entirely true. A nice, rich color that complements and contrasts with the yellow walls might actually open things up more than you expect.

Also consider adding a decorative element to the cabinet doors, painted a contrasting color. You can find such things in various shapes at home improvement stores. (Diamonds, squares, etc.) Also consider replacing or adding cabinet knobs and drawer pulls. There are tons of styles available.
posted by The Deej at 7:58 AM on August 1, 2007

Pictures would be really helpful!

Just a few ideas:

Can you replace the doors on the cabinets? This might cost a bit, but I've seen it done as a less expensive alternative to getting new cabinets. What you could do is get cabinet doors with glass windows on them and put curtains/fabric on the inside in your favorite color.

Also...the WALLS are cork? Like...a bulletin board, almost? That sounds awful. I think we at AskMe need to make helping you with that a priority, but photos would be extremely helpful. Maybe you could slap on some wallpaper to at least hide the cork?

As for the floor, I'd consider getting small kitchen mats in colors that might take away from the ugly flooring and/or an area rug that's meant for outdoors or that is otherwise ok with kitchen drips & spills. Maybe one of those bamboo mats.

Do you have a window in your kitchen? If so, you can brighten things up with some fun curtains.

Basically, my strategy in past rental kitchens & bathrooms that were hard to spruce up was to add things that were pretty & colorful wherever possible. Even hanging some fun dish towels & pot holders will take the eye away from the stuff that's harder and/or inconvenient for you to deal with. Nice canisters for the counter top and storing your small appliances that aren't used on a daily basis out of view will help to control clutter and make sure the things that are in view are nice-looking.
posted by tastybrains at 8:02 AM on August 1, 2007

It depends entirely on how much work you are willing to do and whether your landlord will compensate you. If he is willing to compensate you to make real improvements, you could have a neat little project on your hands.

If the landlord isn't willing to compensate you for materials, you can make cheaper, more superficial improvements to essentially cover up the worst of the ugly. (This is likely what was done before -- behind that cork is probably another dated, grimy wall material of dubious aesthetics.)

You can paint the cupboards white again. Sand/scrape any lumpy grime and use a glossy paint, which is easier to clean.

UKtranslationfilter: Artexed?

Nthing to post photos!
posted by desuetude at 8:09 AM on August 1, 2007

Maybe you could slap on some wallpaper to at least hide the cork?

Get some 1/8 inch thick Masonite and cut it to size. Screw it over the cork with drywall screws, smooth side out. The screws should counter-sink a bit. Fill the screw areas with spackle, and smooth it with a damp sponge when dry. Paint it with Kilz primer, then you can paint it or wallpaper it. Add some corner molding where needed, and some flat molding where two pieces of Masonite butt against each other.

Since you are placing it over cork, which has some give, you can probably get some stand-offs that are the same thickness of the cork, to keep the Masonite nice and level. You could also scrape the cork off, and you don't have to worry about the surface underneath being smooth, since you are resurfacing it with Masonite.

I have used Masonite to allow me to add a wallpaper frieze to a heavily textured wall, and to resurface other smallish areas. I highly recommend it. Of course you can do the same thing with drywall, which is cheaper, but Masonite adds hardly any thickness to the walls, and is easy and relatively clean to work with. Just keep in mind that a good coat of primer is essential, because Masonite is almost glossy in its smoothness.

On this note, you could create a new subfloor right over your linoleum using 1/4 inch plywood. Screw it down right over the linoleum. You can then use whatever floor covering you want. If you use ceramic, or any other breakable material, you may have to level the surface with a compound to remove any peaks and valleys. If the floor has any such problems, or the new plywood has any "give" your tiles will break when you step on them. Linoleum tiles would be a good bet to avoid this. You'll have to thoroughly prime the plywood when using any solution that uses "self-stick" tiles.
posted by The Deej at 8:23 AM on August 1, 2007

Seconding painting the cabinets, top and bottom. Especially if they are mismatched you can unify and brighten them at the same time. Use good paint and put most of your work into preparation.
posted by LarryC at 8:36 AM on August 1, 2007

I nth painting, though you might try to get your hands on some TSP and just do a good cleaning. (I can find it in the paint section of any hardware store in both liquid and powder form, dunno on your side of the pond) You'd be amazed how much of that grime will actually come off and if it doesn't improve matters to your liking you'll have prepped them well to receive paint.
posted by phearlez at 8:44 AM on August 1, 2007

ARTEX : a thing kind of like plaster that gets slapped on ceilings. It's cohesive enough that you can make swirly patterns in it or dab it with a sponge to make a field of mini stalag(mites|tites). Builders love it because it hides cracks and uneven surfaces. Home owners hate it because it's a bitch to cover over, and it tends to grab any dust and muck and refuses to let go of it. A square inch of the spikey style could easily have 50 little spikes in it.
posted by twine42 at 8:49 AM on August 1, 2007

Oh man, I totally feel your pain re: Victorian kitchens with layer upon layer of cheap and half assed 'upgrades' plus grease coated on from time immemorial.

We ended up moving to escape ours.

Failing that: nthing the suggestions to clean the hell out of it with a hard core grease remover and then see whether painting cupboards is a possibility. Even a high gloss white would help. Plus, new paint is much easier to clean than nasty old paint.

For the overall dirty look, installing better lighting might help (and be cheaper than, say, ripping up the floor). What is the current light situation? Can you install track lighting, or dangle some lanterns from the ceiling (helps to distract from the cobwebs)? Can you maximize the natural light?

Eliminating all counter clutter, and placing only your most aesthetically appealing kitchen accoutrements out, preferably according to a color scheme, helps a bit.

Live plants, especially hung from the ceiling, may help it feel less dingy. Plants with fine leaves (e.g. ferns) rather than broad leaves will look better/get less dusty.
posted by Wavelet at 9:31 AM on August 1, 2007

For the floor, why not a floor cloth? Subject of a recent AskMe; or make your own / more directions. That way you don't have to worry what is under the old linoleum or be out much cash.
posted by Forktine at 9:31 AM on August 1, 2007

One of the easiest things I've done to spruce up a room is simply changing the knobs and handles of the cabinets.
posted by Meagan at 9:39 AM on August 1, 2007

You can paint lino. Sand it, prime it, and use a paint designed for floors.
Works better than you'd think if you have an OK surface to start with (as in, ugly, dingy, but not cracked/missing/burned)
posted by Kellydamnit at 9:43 AM on August 1, 2007

Re: artex

That's what I figured. That stuff is evil. You can scrape it down and then fill it in with joint compound -- this is what I did in my bathroom, which had walls that looked as if they were covered in lumpy oatmeal flung by an angry toddler.

Or, if you need a superficial fix, perhaps you can cover it by hanging a floor cloth from the ceiling?

For the cork, if it's not possible to cover it, you could perhaps prime it very heavily with a sealant/heavy primer like Kilz?
posted by desuetude at 9:51 AM on August 1, 2007

Okay ladies and gentlemen... welcome to the photographic event of the year. We debated whether to clean and polish and make it look nice, or to napalm the place just so you'd feel more sorry for us...

Contrary to photographic evidence, our house does actually have right angles. It's excess height and being too lazy to learn the settings on my wife's camera that make it look like we live in a carnival reject...

So...
* Cork Walls - apparently a former tenant had a dog that scratched. The tiles are about 1-2mm thick.
* High quality Artex by the light fitting.
* Then we have from the living room, from the kitchen door, the sink, the decidedly grim cooker.

Being an english country house, the kitchen door is actually the front door - to the extent that until the mid 60s it only had one door to the outside world.

Cheers guys...
posted by twine42 at 11:18 AM on August 1, 2007

Flor carpet tiles. They have shown a kitchen in one of their catalogs and it fit well.

Plus you can take them with you when you leave.
posted by chadparker at 11:24 AM on August 1, 2007

On seeing the photos, I agree, the cork is nasty. Not much you can do to repair other than scrape it off and use a solvent to get the remaining glue off the wall. Huge mess. It's probably behind the cabinets, too, which complicates things.

Otherwise, your kitchen doesn't look that bad. Maybe repair/caulk/paint the ceiling, and possibly cabinets. Unless you spray the cabinets, you might not be that impressed with a new coat of paint. Brush strokes show quite a bit on smooth cabinets. Unless you like that look (I don't mind it in an older house). Be sure to lightly sand and use a good primer so the paint sticks well.
posted by chadparker at 11:38 AM on August 1, 2007

What a charming kitchen! It has such potential. Check out Cottage Living's inspiration rooms. I'm sure you'll find some ideas there to spark your creativity. I'd first get rid of all that nasty cork, spackle everything and sand flat, and paint something charming and welcoming. If the lino is in decent shape, add another layer of it with the press-on squares. And clean, clean, clean those cabinets.

Oh, and to get rid of texture on the ceiling, you may be able to spray it down with water, let it soak in and soften, and scrape off. I've seen it done on design shows where there is the cottage-cheese or cat-litter texture on the ceiling.
posted by orangemiles at 11:51 AM on August 1, 2007 [1 favorite]

Getting rid of artex ceilings is a nightmare, you have to scrape it off, and it will fill your house with dust. Not recommended if you are living there while work is done. Painting it usually also creates lots of dust.

Definitely post pictures, but I nth painting the cupboards white, and add some nice handle/hinge hardware. Don't rip up the lino either, god knows what might be underneath (possibility of asbestos-infused flooring I believe). Just buy some cheap vinyl stick on tiles and put them over the top, or the carpet remnant is a great idea. Depending what state the cork wall-tile is in, it might look better once the cupboards are white, or it might still look horrible. Can you paint cork? You could of course take advantage of its cork-board abilities and pin up some large pictures or paper to make a new wall. What are the countertops like? Formica, I bet :) I think you can get formica replaced pretty cheap, look into that and see how much it is. Is there a tile backsplash behind the counters? Tiling is pretty easy, and you can get some nice tile pretty cheap. Before you start any projects, come up with a plan and colour scheme. If you are handy you could even try replacing the taps with something newer and shinier for cheap.
posted by Joh at 12:20 PM on August 1, 2007

You could peel off the cork, and then instead of spending too much time scraping and leveling it, pop up some cottagey beadboard (one, two, three). I think the rest of the kitchen is cute, apart from the floor.
posted by xo at 12:25 PM on August 1, 2007

I'll second the Flor carpet tiles as an easy upgrade.
posted by spilon at 1:16 PM on August 1, 2007

I don't know if you get the "Home to Go" TV series, but you might want to look at the show's episode summaries. The show deals with fixing up rental apartments, with the idea that you may not live there forever. I know they are always coming up with ways to hide ugly flooring -- but with inexpensive temporary solutions.
posted by acoutu at 2:16 PM on August 1, 2007

Walls: Look online and in stores for replacement cork to use for repair, as removing all of it looks to be a massive job. I like the color & texture of it. If you find a matching color, texture, thickness, cut out rectangular areas to replace, and use a hairdryer on hot to loosen (assumes that it's cork squares w/sticky backs) and scrape it off. Shim in replacement piece.

Floor: As noted above, both Linoleum and vinyl can be painted. Clean really well first. Or make bright floorcloths with canvas.

The cupboards are in good shape, but look cheap. Replace the doors, esp. on the upper ones. Lots of creative possibilities. All of which would depend on your tastes. If you are very energetic, you could move the lonely cupboard from over the microwave to the left, next to it's mate. This might also make room for some artwork. Affordable cupboards look better when not alone. Or take the upper cabinets down, preserving them for the landlord, and replace them with shelves.
posted by theora55 at 2:42 PM on August 1, 2007

Hey, we have the same lino in our kitchen, just behind me. It actually doesn't look bad when it's clean, although I've found it gets sticky and grimy really easily. I second using some kind of grease cutting cleaner to try and bring it up.

You have a lot of that cork showing and it seems to dominate the kitchen. In your place I'd make removing and/or resurfacing that stuff the main priority as it will lift the whole room. If you can paint it a bright cheerful colour that will open the whole place out, and those scratched areas are just so so nasty right now. I don't know if you're best trying to get it off or just cover over it, but either way I'd say you're going to need to stick something flat over there to give a new starting surface. The masonite idea above sounds good. Personally I'd probably lean towards just covering it up as best I could, since it's a rental place.

If you're removing the cork anyway and you can bear to lose the storage space you could also look into removing a couple of the higher up cupboards. The two individual ones particularly are intruding into the space and making it all look a lot smaller. You'd probably need to resurface the wall under where they are, but then you kind of need to do that everywhere anyway. You can always screw them back up again when you eventually move out.

I also agree with painting the cupboards. You may find that a warm cream or yellow or similar light, bright colour will open the place up more than the white. We have creamy beige cupboards with that lino plus warm light yellow walls, and it looks bigger and brighter than your kitchen even though ours is probably smaller. The white you have is kind of cold and breaks up the space too much from the cork walls, a warmer colour will bring it all together and even everything out. This would make a difference even if you don't do anything else to the room.

I think those ceilings are a lost cause. Clean it up as best you can then just dust regularly. Yeah it looks like crap, but if you get the rest of the room nice it won't be very noticeable.

I think your place totally has potential. Like you could paint that radiator a different colour and make a feature of it.
posted by shelleycat at 3:27 PM on August 1, 2007