How should I protect myself?

July 4, 2007 2:26 PM

Are condoms plus sexual history adequate protection for a new partner? Or should we both be tested before intercourse, regardless of condom use? If so... how?

By "how", I mean... do we go to Planned Parenthood, or somewhere else? How much would it cost? How long would it take to get the results?

I would never have unprotected sex without both of us getting tested; but with condoms, is it generally safe?

(I'm a 19-year-old female, on BC, and have had one sexual partner.)

posted by showbiz_liz to health & fitness (21 answers total)

How long is a piece of string?

There's no simple answer to your question: condoms are safe, but accidents do happen; some things can be transmitted without intercourse but on the other hand this may be less likely; a test (for HIV for example) may not reveal a recent infection; and partners can stray, and not tell you, or fudge the truth about their sexual history, and how do you test for that?

That's the long boring useless answer ;) I would say, since you are plainly nervous, tell your boyfriend (?) that you don't think for a moment that there is anything to worry about, and that you don't for a moment doubt his sexual history as he has told it to you, but that you are nervous and you will feel much more at ease - and the sex will be better! - if you both get tested.
posted by londongeezer at 2:38 PM on July 4, 2007

I agree with londongeezer.

UNC Campus Health Services indicates on their HIV testing webpage that you can set up an appointment for and get more information on other STD tests by calling 966-2281. There's some information here about health care costs on the UNC campus. You already pay a fee as part of your tuition; so they say they try to keep additional costs to you down.
posted by carsonb at 2:50 PM on July 4, 2007

Oh, sorry, clarification- right now I do not have a sexual partner. I just want to be sure I have a solid plan of action for the future.
posted by showbiz_liz at 2:52 PM on July 4, 2007

Should you? If you're worried about it at all, it will put your mind at ease to go ahead and do it. I get tested every year, whether I have a reason to worry or not--it's always nice to be sure.

How? See if your local health department offers any free STD testing. I live in a college town, and the health department screens for just about everything but herpes, free of charge.

If you're a student, check out the student health clinic (might not be possible in the summer, unless you're taking classes). Student health std testing could be free or not, depending on the tests and risk at your campus. Even if you have to pay for it, it's generally not too costly.

Planned Parenthood works too, but I'd look at those other options first, because they tend to run a little cheaper. If you're getting annual women's health exams, you might already be getting tested for things like chlamydia or gonorrhea.
posted by almostmanda at 2:58 PM on July 4, 2007

I haven't been using condom's for a while (married), but when I was I noticed that the number of accidents varied greatly between varieties. Generally the thinner ones would break more often than the thicker ones. Some thick Trojan varieties I never had break on me(under extensive use). The thinner ones required much more attention when putting them on.
posted by nazca at 3:09 PM on July 4, 2007

best course of action is to get yourself tested now (so you know what you do or do not have) and keep a couple of condoms in your purse whenever you go out. (i keep mine in a little plastic baggie to keep the wrappers from tearing on other things in my bag.)

it sounds like you're not very promiscuous, but it is better to be prepared for a night of spontenaity. when you meet someone new and have some lead time before the big event, it's up to you whether you trust him, but my gut says that if you don't trust the guy to tell you the truth, then he's not a good person to sleep with anyway.
posted by thinkingwoman at 3:30 PM on July 4, 2007

Condoms break and I think it depends on a lot of factors: lubrication, application, brand, etc... (I wouldn't trust Trojan, but I might just be biased because of their asinine commercials. Durex, though? Never again.) To that end, I think you're likely to have a condom break every so often in a long-term relationship and that they are more of a short term solution.

Planned Parenthood or your primary care physician would be the two most obvious places to go. My PCP asked if he could tack a HIV test onto a routine blood draw for a physical despite knowing my depressingly underacheived sexual history. It was such a mundane occurance that I had actually forogtten about it. Planned Parenthood is sliding scale, I believe, and incredibly affordable. STD testing may or may not be covered by your health insurance, but you could call the customer service number to find out.

As important as safe sex is, those of us with a lot of anxiety should remember that all the hoo'ing and haw'ing about, "When you have sex with somebody, you're having sex with everybody they've ever slept with," should be taken with a grain of salt. I would say that reasonable safe sex precautions in a monogamous, long term, trusting relationship is way, way, way safer than a hundred other things you do every day and take for granted.
posted by Skwirl at 3:49 PM on July 4, 2007

There is a lot of spurious information around about condoms. I saw a poster produced by the vatican about how condoms only protect against HIV 1 time in 5, which is bullshit. Condoms do offer good protection. But there are many sti out there.

I would say that it is good for any regular partners to be tested. If nothing else it is a healthy precident. That's what i've done with mine. It freaked a few out. But I think they were probably assholes.
posted by gesamtkunstwerk at 4:11 PM on July 4, 2007

Skip the sexual history, get the test.

Science has a higher rate of success in this area than taste, honesty, memory and decisions made in the heat of the moment while intoxicated.

There is likely a service in your area (such as PP) that is low or no cost, while-you-wait and optionally anonymous. If you're having sex, Planned Parenthood is a good place to become familiar with anyways, since they offer many other services that you may someday need in an emergency.
posted by VulcanMike at 4:26 PM on July 4, 2007

In some areas Planned Parenthood offers free confidential STD tests, including the mouthswab test for HIV. I'm not sure what determines where free tests are offered (here in Gainesville FL, a college town, Planned Parenthood's biweekly HIV tests are free but the rest are not; in other areas there may more available or may not be any free tests at all).

As others have said, condoms aren't 100% reliable. If you value peace of mind, you and your partner should definitely get tested.
posted by Tuwa at 5:00 PM on July 4, 2007

Are you a regular blood donor?

Here in Australia all donated blood is tested, and any problems (HIV, Hepatitis etc) are communicated back to the donor.

Of course you might want something a little more definitive than the 'no news is good news' approach. But its something to consider at least.
posted by TheOtherGuy at 5:03 PM on July 4, 2007

keep in mind that some stis, including herpes and genital warts, aren't usually tested for, may or may not be visually obvious, and may not be prevented by condoms (because the site of infection may not be completely covered). there's no simple answer to this problem either, but it's worth considering.
posted by lgyre at 6:01 PM on July 4, 2007

If you want to get tested, but can't afford it, here's a trick you can use:

Donate blood.

All donated blood needs to be tested for HIV and some other STDs as well. If it tests positive, they're obligated to contact the donor.

(Also pay attention to lgyre. there is no one "STD test". There's just a bunch of individual tests that may or may not be tried on your blood.)
posted by kingjoeshmoe at 6:47 PM on July 4, 2007

Also consider what type of sexual contact you each have had. Was it risky (i.e. anal, orgies)? If so, definitely get tested. You should get tested anyway. You probably won't get any diseases, but why take any chances? Don't forget to get the HPV vaccine.
posted by HotPatatta at 7:28 PM on July 4, 2007

I really want to put this in all caps and shout it out. Do Not Donate Blood to "test" for HIV. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong.

Not only does it waste the time and money of the Red Cross to take blood that may have to be thrown away, but there is the slight chance that their test could fail, and you would end up infecting someone with tainted blood. Don't do it!!!!

Planned Parenthood. Campus Health Center. Doctor. That's where you get tested.
posted by saffry at 7:54 PM on July 4, 2007 [1 favorite]

Seconding saffry. In fact, when you go to donate blood, they specifically tell you not to donate to get tested for HIV.
posted by liesbyomission at 2:26 AM on July 5, 2007

I would never have unprotected sex without both of us getting tested; but with condoms, is it generally safe?

Yes. Of course, condoms won't always protect you from every conceivable STI, but then a standard set of tests won't do that either. Life entails risk, and at a certain point I think you have to accept that or spend your life living in fear. Use condoms and don't have sex with people you don't trust, and you'll be fine.
posted by myeviltwin at 6:58 AM on July 5, 2007

If you want to get tested for HIV and can't afford it, in most places there is somewhere you can get tested for FREE.

I think some of the 'donate blood' crowd finds it to be embarrassing to get tested, but not embarrassing to waste the resources of the Red Cross.
posted by yohko at 7:48 AM on July 5, 2007

showbiz_liz, you can go to Planned Parenthood now, you do not have to wait until you are in a relationship. If you feel that both partners should be tested, there is no reason why you can't go ahead on your end, and if you suspect that you might have an STI you should get tested right away.

Planned Parenthood will also have information about different STI's that you can be tested for. Your question seems to imply that there is one test -- this is not the case.
posted by yohko at 7:59 AM on July 5, 2007

Nthing the 'for god's sake don't donate blood to get tested'.

There are lots of low cost options for getting tested that don't carry the risks of infecting people or wasting the Red Cross' resources.

Go to Planned Parenthood. A good percentage of their work is doing STI testing.
posted by winna at 8:12 AM on July 5, 2007

HIV and hepatitis are the ONLY sexually transmitted infections that are tested for in donated blood/plasma. Plasma donors are only required to be tested for syphilis once every six months. So donating blood not only endangers the blood supply (and one unit of blood goes to multiple recipients), but it is an ineffective way to ensure that you are free of infections.
posted by kamikazegopher at 10:58 AM on July 5, 2007