15th anniversay + no money = need to be creative.

July 4, 2007 3:00 AM

Our 15th wedding anniversary is imminent and my plans need some adjusting due to some financial difficulties. In other words, what I planned to do costs money and we have none. Any ideas of how to make our 15th wedding anniversary special for my wife without spending a lot of cash? Even if I went ahead and spent the cash, my wife wouldn't enjoy herself. God bless her, she's a simple woman who's easy to please, but I want to blow her away in the creative/romantic/fun department. Our anniversary is on a Wednesday. I'll get home from work at 3am on Wed. Waking her up is not out of the question. (She loves to party....usually. On the weekends, after the kids are down, we stay up late, drinking wine, eating fattening foods, and watching movies.) I could wait until morning and cook a big breakfast, but our dear children will be awake then, and I think a 15th anniversary demands some special romantic "alone-time". The following weekend is not out of the question, but "the moment" will have passed, requiring something more formal/expensive.
posted by keith0718 to human relations (19 comments total)

I am not married.

What's something she asked you for a really long time ago - so long ago that she assumes you forgot she asked - that you weren't able to do/make happen for her? Could you afford that thing now?
posted by mdonley at 3:16 AM on July 4, 2007

send the kids to the grandparents?
I'm sure your wife would love a kid-free day of pampering. That doesn't have to cost you anything
posted by missmagenta at 3:50 AM on July 4, 2007

Had the same problem with the same anniversary last weekend. I spent three days writing her the best two page letter I could. I cooked her a meal and gave her the letter before I put the children to bed. Review: "best present ever".
posted by ouke at 3:51 AM on July 4, 2007

Write her a love letter. This will mean more to her than anything money can buy, and she will cherish it the rest of her life.

We know men have a hard time with things like that. That's what makes it so special.
posted by happyturtle at 3:59 AM on July 4, 2007

Love letter is a good idea. After 15 years (we've been married 16), it might help to tell her how/why you love her more than when you married. You can remind her of special things that happened together, the time she caught your eye at a public event and you both had to hide your laughter, the time the kid pooed up his back and you didn't know how to fix it.

Right now, for me, if my husband told me that i was beautfiul to him and expressed it in explicit terms, that the site of my arse in front of him in a shopping aisle always got a rise out of him, that the freckles on my skin are like sunkisses, a map of all his favourite places, that the wrinkles around my eyes just make me look smilier and remind him of how much laughter we share, where was I in that sentence, oh yeah, if my husband did that, I would cry, a good cry. (unfortunately, he's not very romantic).

If you want something a little spectacular - blow up a packet of balloons or three (they're only a few bucks) and write love messages on them (or slip little notes inside so she can keep them after the baloons are popped).

Rose petals in the bed is a much better look that crumbs.

When you say Wednesday, do you mean this Wednesday? I'm hoping it's the next to give you time to organise.

Can you sing? Do you play guitar? You could serenade her.

How about scanning some favourite photos into a powerpoint and adding text/music that applies?

If you don't cook often, bake a cake and decorate with m&m's in the frosting saying I love you in a big heart.

Do some gift certificates on yr computer - foot massage for half hour, dish washing (or other hated chore) to be used whenever she likes without a whimper from you.

Maybe write a letter telling her what you would tell a young you before you got married - like, if I could talk to my 20 year old self, Keith, I'd say, you have got it made, boy, most darling woman in the world, and one who is so strong of character. Keith, it's good you have no doubts, you have no need of any, the woman you are lucky enough to marry is a sweetheart, who forgives quicker than she angers, who laughs at your jokes, even after she's heard them twice, who nurtures your babies better than anyone else could. Keith, you lucky bastard.

Good on you, Keith.
posted by b33j at 4:25 AM on July 4, 2007

These are great ideas, and wonderfully romantic.

For a fairly destitute Christmas I once bought a number of very inexpensive, sweet and/or funny little gifts for my husband and hid them around the house, with clues (in rhyme!) attached to each, leading to the next one.

And you can do any of this stuff on Wednesday, and still expand it into the weekend without spending much, by having an "exotic home vacation" if you have someone who can take care of the kids. Pick your destination and play it out at home: Island Paradise holiday? Wear beachwear and leis all weekend, splash in the kiddy pool and drink Mai Tais and Pina Coladas; cook tropical goodies, load up the MP3 player with island/beach music, and get some appropriately themed videos. Fun!

Happy, relaxed face time with the one you love is pretty much the best thing ever - much better than an expensive gift. Have a wonderful anniversary! (It will probably be the best one yet.)
posted by taz at 4:47 AM on July 4, 2007

For Valentine's Day my husband wrote me a poem, with the promise of a poem on the 14th of every month until next Valentine's Day. I imagine that it's getting rough for him to keep thinking of poems, but it's been great for me! That poem was the best Valentine's Day gift ever, and now I have something to look forward to each month. That way it lasts all year rather than being over with in one night. He's written free-verse poems and one haiku, but you could even write limericks or a few couplets. Something recurring will make her feel special all year.

If you have a yard you could buy a small bush or tree, or even some seeds. Plant it together, saying that you're looking forward to watching it grow together for the next 50 years. That way when it gets bigger you'll be able to say, "Remember when you gave me that little six-inch seedling?"
posted by christinetheslp at 5:05 AM on July 4, 2007

As a 27-year (and counting) veteran of marriage, I concur on the love-letter option.

Being in a financial hard-spot is no fun. But, your anniversary isn't about bestowing trinkets or pricey stuff on each other. It's about reaffirming your commitment to each other.

A heartfelt, hand-written love letter will be a far more important gift to her than anything else you could give her. If you want major tears and happiness, open your soul and tell her just how important she is to you and how much you love and appreciate her.
posted by Thorzdad at 5:25 AM on July 4, 2007

If you can get free babysitting via relatives or a grandparent, how about recreating your first date, assuming it wasn't the prom or something else extravagant and expensive.
posted by COD at 5:36 AM on July 4, 2007

nthing the love letter. make a list of ten things you love about her. be sure to include the little things and the big ones and the dirty ones. also, tell her she's a good mother.

also, tell her you resolve to help with the chores from here on out. it's often said that the most effective foreplay is doing the dishes. ;)
posted by thinkingwoman at 5:52 AM on July 4, 2007

Wednesday while you are at work, have your very heartfelt letter hand delivered to her with flowers. Then Thurs. night after the kids go to bed & you're drinking wine, put in the DVD of your favorite photos set to a romantic love song.

I did the slideshow of old photos for my family set to music. REALLY a tear jerker very special. You could do photos of you guys when you first met, all the way up through now with a cool love song.
posted by monicaabc at 6:01 AM on July 4, 2007

Scavenger hunt! Perhaps ending in a love letter?
posted by sneakin at 7:41 AM on July 4, 2007

The traditional wedding anniversary gift for 15 years is crystal.

You can find an inexpensive crystal box at discount stores like Marshall's, etc. Put the love letter/poem/coupons as suggested above in it. Fill it with candy kisses.

A crystal frame with a photo of the two of you.

A piece of jewelry made of crystal beads.

Rent a Billy Crystal movie to watch on the special night, When Harry met Sally comes to mind.

Crystal bud vase, put a fresh flower in it every week. Flower can be one from the yard or roadside wildflower (it's the efford here). Can recruit kids to help!
posted by JujuB at 9:17 AM on July 4, 2007

Thought about the crystal bud vase idea some more. The number of flowers can equal the number of children you have.
posted by JujuB at 9:32 AM on July 4, 2007

Definitely send the kids somewhere. Doesn't have to be relatives-- the kids would probably much rather have a sleep-over at a friend's house anyway. If it's a school night, explain to the hosting parents that it's your 15th anniversary and you're planning an especially romantic evening, to allay objections.

Romantic letter- yes.
Recreating first date- yes, just make sure you and she have the same idea of what this was.
posted by nax at 9:37 AM on July 4, 2007

Nthing the romantic love letter. Mr. Adams used to write me the most beautiful letters when we were dating, and I've kept every one of them (we've been married for 13 years). Maybe draw her a lovely scented bubble bath, place some candles in the bathroom, and bathe her. While she's luxuriating in the tub, recount the last 15 years. Talk about what your dreams were when you first got married, what you've accomplished as a couple, how you felt when she told you she was expecting your first born. Rehash a few times when things looked bleak and marvel at how you worked through them together. Then shampoo her hair, massing her scalp gently as you thank her for being a wonderful wife and life partner. Very romantic and relaxing.
posted by Oriole Adams at 11:22 AM on July 4, 2007

Maybe organize all those many photos and put them into a photo album, with some comment about how you want to cherish all these memories? (Best gift I ever got from my parents was for high school graduation, they gave me a photo album with photos from my life. Probably cost them no more than $11 and a few hours' work, but it's worth much more than any other gift they ever gave me.)
posted by salvia at 11:26 AM on July 4, 2007

Well done scavenger hunt = Romantic Gold.
End it with a love note and a small meaningful gift.
posted by The Esteemed Doctor Bunsen Honeydew at 3:38 PM on July 4, 2007

My husband rocks at giving gifts. Once he ordered M&M's with a special "inside joke" message printed on them and left them for me to find with tickets to something I wanted to see [and that he really didn't]. If you can't think of a good thing to print on the M&M's one set of "will you marry me" and one set of "again" should cover most bases.

One year he planned a picnic for us and brought this box filled with all the ephemera of our lives together. Cards, letters, ticket stubs... we went through the box and at the end was a long letter from him.
posted by Mozzie at 11:54 AM on July 5, 2007