How common is it for parents to leave their small children alone?
June 18, 2007 9:15 PM Subscribe
The Madeleine McCann abduction has me wondering: how common is it for parents to leave their small children alone?
Where I come from, here's the deal:
if a child cannot make a phone call
cannot fully comprehend or recognize dangerous situations
lacks the maturity to evaluate a threat and decide help is needed
cannot safely cross a street
cannot talk or properly relay information
cannot properly ask for help - call the police, go to a neighboor, lock the door, etc
it is a crime to leave them alone, be it at home, in a car or a hotel room.
Now, I don't want to go into this discussion blaming the McCanns for their daughter's abduction. Please understand this question is not about placing blame, but about trying to understand how often and why does this potentially dangerous parenting habit occur.
Let me just state what I've learned: the McCanns were having dinner at a restaurant (some sources say 100 meters from their hotel room, some say about 200 meters) while their children slept in their hotel room. The room was on the ground floor and had french doors through which they came in at turns every half hour or so to check on three-year-old Madeleine and her two-year-old twin brother and sister. When dad came around 9pm in they were all fine, about 45 minutes later they checked again and Madeleine was no longer there.
The parents got a lot of criticism for leaving such small children alone, and acknowledged their regret at a press conference. I feel terribly sorry for them and can only imagine the guilt they must feel.
What really got me spooked was that apparently a lot of parents, especially in the UK, in an effort to show their support and sympathy for the McCanns declared they would have done the exact same thing, so the McCanns should not feel bad. Some said they have in fact left their children alone in situations similar or not.
So, the McCanns case aside, come on, are you people lunatics? So okay, let's say leaving toddlers alone when they're awake is more dangerous than when they are asleep. So sleeping they won't tip over boiling pans, stick forks in electric outlets or play with knives. But plenty can happen, even if not as dangerous: they could roll out of bed and need a kiss from mommy, they could wake up thirsty and ask for a drink of water, they could have a bad dream and wake up scared. If in any of those situations a toddler did not find a parent, not only would they be completely terrified, they would probably wind up getting out of bed to look for someone, and that adds many dangers to the list.
Plus, there's the menace that resides outside your house/car/hotel room and over which you have no control: other people! People who want to rob you, harm or take your child. The power you have over these people may not even be enough to protect your child if you ARE there, so really, would you ignore this, "feel it's safe" and leave you baby alone?
Is this a cultural thing or just plain lack of common sense - or in my case excessive worring?
How often does this happen where you live? Would you do that? Have you? Will you still leave your toddler alone after this case?
Where I come from, here's the deal:
if a child cannot make a phone call
cannot fully comprehend or recognize dangerous situations
lacks the maturity to evaluate a threat and decide help is needed
cannot safely cross a street
cannot talk or properly relay information
cannot properly ask for help - call the police, go to a neighboor, lock the door, etc
it is a crime to leave them alone, be it at home, in a car or a hotel room.
Now, I don't want to go into this discussion blaming the McCanns for their daughter's abduction. Please understand this question is not about placing blame, but about trying to understand how often and why does this potentially dangerous parenting habit occur.
Let me just state what I've learned: the McCanns were having dinner at a restaurant (some sources say 100 meters from their hotel room, some say about 200 meters) while their children slept in their hotel room. The room was on the ground floor and had french doors through which they came in at turns every half hour or so to check on three-year-old Madeleine and her two-year-old twin brother and sister. When dad came around 9pm in they were all fine, about 45 minutes later they checked again and Madeleine was no longer there.
The parents got a lot of criticism for leaving such small children alone, and acknowledged their regret at a press conference. I feel terribly sorry for them and can only imagine the guilt they must feel.
What really got me spooked was that apparently a lot of parents, especially in the UK, in an effort to show their support and sympathy for the McCanns declared they would have done the exact same thing, so the McCanns should not feel bad. Some said they have in fact left their children alone in situations similar or not.
So, the McCanns case aside, come on, are you people lunatics? So okay, let's say leaving toddlers alone when they're awake is more dangerous than when they are asleep. So sleeping they won't tip over boiling pans, stick forks in electric outlets or play with knives. But plenty can happen, even if not as dangerous: they could roll out of bed and need a kiss from mommy, they could wake up thirsty and ask for a drink of water, they could have a bad dream and wake up scared. If in any of those situations a toddler did not find a parent, not only would they be completely terrified, they would probably wind up getting out of bed to look for someone, and that adds many dangers to the list.
Plus, there's the menace that resides outside your house/car/hotel room and over which you have no control: other people! People who want to rob you, harm or take your child. The power you have over these people may not even be enough to protect your child if you ARE there, so really, would you ignore this, "feel it's safe" and leave you baby alone?
Is this a cultural thing or just plain lack of common sense - or in my case excessive worring?
How often does this happen where you live? Would you do that? Have you? Will you still leave your toddler alone after this case?
This post was deleted for the following reason: this is a rant disguised as a question -- how are people seriously supposed to answer "are you people lunatics"? "um yes actually we are lunatics, thanks for asking"
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