I don't know where I'm going but I'm on my way

June 15, 2007 2:29 PM

How to figure out what I would like to do with my life?

I'm a 21 years old male from a developing country.

I'm studying something that I dislike and the future of that is even worse for me (basically I'm learning english and educational theory to be a high school teacher of english with a 10K/y salary).

I choose this program because it was easy and because after highschool I had no idea what I wanted to do.

I'm in third year and I'll probably need 3 more years to finish it. It would have been two but I failed an annual subject.

My dad is paying my tuition and has repeteadly told me that if I finish this program I can study something else afterwards. However that would add even more years, so I would finish my education at 29. Way too late.

I'm trying to get my courage together and tell my dad that I want to abandon my current program and study something else but sadly I still don't know what I want to study. The vocational tests I took during highschool came out as a line, no interest was bigger than the other and all of them were very low.


So, AskMeFi, what can I do to figure out what I want to do with my life?


PS: Therapy is out of the question, very expensive around here. I'll try, however, to take another vocational test at college.

posted by anonymous to education (15 comments total)

What do you like to do? What stuff do you do for fun, in your spare time?

Do that.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 2:37 PM on June 15, 2007

I have no hobbies. Most of the time I'm not at college I spend it lurking the internet or watching movies/series.
posted by Memo at 2:44 PM on June 15, 2007

I believe in finishing what you started. This program is obviously not what you WANTED to start. In any non-English speaking country, being able to speak and write English makes you even more marketable...so there are worse programs that you could be in.

29 is not old, btw. We've come to adopt a notion that fast results with least amount of effort is the norm. You need to work at it. You first have to figure out what it is that you want to do. Courage can come after you've figured out what you want to do, how you are going to do it (how long it's going to take, what you're willing to sacrifice(always some sacrifice), and how much you're willing to pay ON YOUR OWN. If you're going to disagree with your dad, you are going to have to be ready to support yourself. If not, you are going to have to be more dedicated to try to finish the program successfully as soon as possible in order to do what you want.

If you don't know what you want to do, then quitting your current program is a bad idea. Telling your dad that you want to quit and do something else, but don't know what it is that you want to do tells him that you're not mature enough to make decisions.

At 21, you shouldn't know what you want to do, and what you want to do now may not be what you want to do in 20 years. But knowing English will be a great deal of help in any job. Teaching degree will come in handy in the long run, because you can deal with people.

Don't rush into stuff, and finish what you started and take responsibility for yourself and for your future.
posted by icollectpurses at 2:50 PM on June 15, 2007

Don't be scared to change from one area of studies to another just because you'd be losing time and or money. If your dad has offered to pay for your studies, be thankful for that and repay him with your enjoyment of what you're doing.

It's not the end of the world to figure out that you want to change direction. It happened to me to, and for a while I felt really guilty about wanting to change from engineering to psychology after three semesters, but after a while, I realized it was the best thing I could have done. And really, nothing you have learned so far will be a waste. Knowledge adds upp. Just figure out what you like to do and go from there.

On preview and after reading icollectpurses' comment: Yes, take responsability and don't quit until you know what you want to do, but I don't believe you should "finish what you started" and stick to something that [you] dislike and the future of that is even worse for [you] just because you made at the beginning of your studies.

Mucha suerte, Memo!
posted by CrazyLemonade at 2:55 PM on June 15, 2007

oh sorry, that last second to last line should read:

...just because you made a mistake at the beginning of your studies.
posted by CrazyLemonade at 2:56 PM on June 15, 2007

if you don't know what you want to be doing, the degree you're working on sounds pretty good, because it will give you a good general liberal arts background. if your dad is willing to pay for more school, there are a lot of different graduate programs you could go for after that. that's what i would suggest--unless you figure out right now what you would rather be doing, stay in the program you're in, but start thinking about what you would like to study next. also, you'll have time to make sure you take any prerequisistes for your grad program that wouldn't normally be part of your undergrad major.
posted by lgyre at 3:04 PM on June 15, 2007

If you don't know what you want to do, definitely take more, different vocational aptitude tests. When you took the first one, you weren't really feeling a critical need to get moving, and it seems like now you're future is more of a concern to you.

Also, consider getting a part-time job, say in a video rental store since you like watching movies so much.
posted by misha at 3:24 PM on June 15, 2007

I have no hobbies. Most of the time I'm not at college I spend it lurking the internet or watching movies/series.

How about interests then, even if you're not doing anything about them? There's probably something you're interested in.

I agree with the others that your degree sounds good and may be worth completing. It could be a stepping stone to something other than teaching.

Here's a link that is supposed to help you find what you should do with your life; can't vouch for it though. Here's a pretty well-regarded book on finding your mission in life.
posted by DarkForest at 3:27 PM on June 15, 2007

Hola, memo! I'm a 24-year-old American (er, estadounidense) guy who finished university two years ago and I teach English in other countries.

Universities in Chile might seem more restrictive in their curriculum than ones in the USA, especially for something as controlled by the government as education, but please remember a few things -

1) your ability to speak English will make you a much, much better candidate for all kinds of jobs you might not be thinking about, from airplane pilot to employee at the foreign ministry;

2) there is no law anywhere that says you have to do a job that relates to your degree, even if you think you have no chance of ever getting out of your area of study;

3) you are probably good or great at lots of things that your course isn't measuring, but that doesn't make them any less important.

For example - are you good at organizing things? Maybe you're a great writer, or all that time you're spending playing games and online means you've got a really great mind for working through lots of complex data.

Think about the skills you have that don't depend on your degree, and work on those; you'll feel more confident and you'll probably do better on your degree for now while you're deciding what to change.

Finally, I wonder if there's low-cost counseling available in your area, or if your university has a mental health center; they might be willing to refer you to someone who gives discounts to students.
posted by mdonley at 3:31 PM on June 15, 2007

1) Internships, volunteer or otherwise. You can do many with school and many can be less than 10 hours a week.

2) Look at job listings. I'll bet you'll see one that sounds like you want to do it. You might not be able to do it, but knowing is the more you know of the battle, or something like that. (Check out nonprofits, too. You'll be shocked when you see something that makes you want to get up and out.)
posted by OrangeDrink at 3:45 PM on June 15, 2007

I finished an education degree without much enthusiasm for entering teaching, but it helped me to have an extra year or so at university after I had worked out what I didn't want to do.
I work in business, and have found the broad education I got studying education has been very useful. I would imagine even more so if I was adept at English in a Spanish speaking country.
I still don't know what I want to do with the rest of my life, after a dozen years at work, but that doesn't stop me from trying new things or doing things that are good for now, even if they are not necessarily my life's passion.
If I had studied, for example, dentistry, I would have much narrower options.
So I suggest completing your current studies, then trying a different course or job to see how you like it.
posted by bystander at 9:12 PM on June 15, 2007

You have a bigger problems than merely finding a career. He has to find a hobby, something to love about the world on a daily basis. Life can be pretty boring if you do nothing but surfing the Web.

You need more exposure to the world, and everything it offers. If I were you, I would pause my studies and fly away on a work/study visa. Go somewhere else in the world and work for a temp agency. You will cycle through a lot of different job, and you will meet a lot of different people. Some of them you will love, some of them you will hate. Positive or negative, each time you will form such an opinion you will be sharpening your own idea of what drives you.
posted by gmarceau at 10:49 PM on June 15, 2007

Being a schoolteacher has plenty of advantages. Many people find working with children and young people to be fun, as well as socially useful. The working day is quite varied, and you can bring into your teaching different sorts of material and teaching methods, which may suit your wide range of talents. The pay obviously goes up in time, and you could be supplementing it with private lessons. The school holidays offer the chance to do all sorts of things, for leisure or for money.

As a qualified teacher of English you would not have to work in a school. People pay for lessons in English, and business people are likely to pay best. So think about what area of business English you can specialize in -- internet? what your father or another relative does? -- and you could approach a private college to see if they will hire you now to do part-time teaching which will put some money in your pocket and build some experience before you graduate.

For a different future, I should look first at where you current course could take you. A qualified teacher can teach all sorts of things. Skills in writing English might be useful in the media -- old, as in working on a newspaper or specialised journal, or new as in working on websites. A teaching certificate will mean you can work with young people, in a youth centre or in a children's adventure centre or on study trips -- but the more exciting it is, the more teachers will be competing to do it! Talk to your teaching staff about what else they can think of. Post-graduate study should offer new possibilities.

The difference between 29 and 30 as an age to finish studying is not that great, so if you decide you do want to start a new field of study, I suggest you get a year's experience of working first. It is insurance against failing to complete the new course, and gives you exposure to the wider world which may help you to choose a future.
posted by Idcoytco at 12:24 AM on June 16, 2007

It sounds a bit like your dad is in control of your life, but that might not be a bad thing because he obviously has your best interests at heart.

A lot of us hand control of our lives to another person surprisingly easy, especially if they're related to us. Parents always try and control children, often through misguided love.

You need to stand on your own two feet. Personally, i don't think you're in a position to do that quite yet, so I'd continue with the course. But that doesn't mean you can't start making changes in your life right now.
posted by humblepigeon at 3:46 AM on June 16, 2007

As a 23 year old who found himself in exactly your situation I would strongly urge you to keep going and get the degree in English. Get the best grades you possibly can. You don't have to be an English teacher, you can get any job with an English degree and good marks.

What you don't want is to find yourself out of school and out of money... If you Dad is willing to pay your tuition that is something which you literally can't afford to ignore. I know that you are struggling with what exactly you want to do in life, everyone is (this is healthy), but before you decide to make a huge change you should do right by yourself and take advantage of a free education.

Read this and really try to absorb the attitude that you should have as a person in your situation. I think you may feel your are being pigeon holed into becoming a High School English teacher by getting this degree, but in reality you will be limiting yourself SO much more by not getting this Degree.

Get the degree, you will find something you want to do (could be literally anything) and the degree will be your ticket.
posted by pwally at 7:57 AM on June 16, 2007