Making friends in NYC for newcomers - mission impossible?

June 9, 2007 3:23 AM

I'm moving from London to NYC in August. Although I am very excited, am also a bit nervous about not knowing anyone there. Any suggestions of group activities or places to go to meet laid-back folk?

I just got a new job within the company I work for and am relocating to NYC in August after 5 years in London. During that time, I made many friends here and am feeling sorry to leave, but at the same time I'm looking forward to a new life in a different country, different city.

I'm a Brazilian-Italian female, 27 years old and quite easy going. I would like to meet some like-minded people, nothing glitzy and glamourous or businesslike, but more of a laid-back, creative and interesting crowd. I have read other posts where NYC people are described as either too busy or too lazy to respond to calls or invitations to do stuff together, but I try not to take that too seriously nor generalise. But the anticipation of it all and not knowing anyone there makes me feel a little nervous!

Do you guys have any suggestions of group activities or places to go where I can spontaneously meet people as described above? I know these things come your way naturally, but would be good to start somewhere. I have no idea where I am going to live yet, it would have to be somewhere with easy access to the East Village, but I am taking my Brompton bike with me, and can cycle around : )

Thanks for reading my question, any ideas will be much appreciated!

posted by heartofglass to society & culture (17 comments total)

Metafilter meetups, of course. To get a sense of the activity, go here and word search for "NYC" or "New York"--there's been 4 or 5 meetups since April. You'll find future meetup dates on the front page of Metatalk, in the right sidebar.

They're fun. It's one of the things I miss most about NYC.
posted by mullacc at 4:32 AM on June 9, 2007

Hmm. Have you browsed Meetup.com for some groups oriented around your interests? I highly, highly recommend any NYC/Brooklyn Stitch-n-Bitches even if you are not a knitter, because a) pretending to learn to knit is cheap and easy, and b) those are, from the sound of it, exactly the kinds of women you're looking to meet.

Also maybe check out local yoga/pilates studios, and The Learning Annex.
posted by DarlingBri at 5:26 AM on June 9, 2007

Being a non-Brazilian, non-Italian, non-female non-New Yorker, but as someone who has just come back from working abroad for a year, I can only offer a few meager tips:

- Don't panic about not really getting to know people within, say, three weeks of you getting there. You'll be setting up all the other parts of your life - figuring out your commute, filling up your pantry, fighting with the phone company. That sounds exhausting, and it very well might be, but once you're settled in, you'll have lots of time to relax and meet new folks.

- Food is one of the best ways to meet folks. Take a cooking class, invite the neighbors over for a housewarming party, chit-chat with the folks in your neighborhood food shops and cafes.

- If you're looking for a little piece of Brazil (I know I miss home when I'm abroad, so forgive me if I'm making a mistake here), this article from last year's New York Times has some info on the community and "Brazilian Day." Here's a meetup of Portuguese speakers in NYC, and here's a link to a Portuguese-language bookseller in NYC. Perhaps connecting with the Lusophone community might be fun and helpful - maybe there's a local organization helping new immigrants with English classes or something?

And welcome to America!
posted by mdonley at 6:21 AM on June 9, 2007

The nice thing about NYC is that anything you have ever thought about doing, you can find a group of like minded fellows in New York. Plus, I think you will find that new yorkers, while busy, are more open to making friends than Londoners.

Here are a few things I have actual experience with: If you are at all outdoorsy you can they the Appalachian mountain club, they organize a dozen or so trips per weekend at all skill levels and can arrange travel. Like DarlineBri, I have found yoga studios friendly, I like the shala in particular. You could join the proust reading group at the NY Mercantile library. You could take some cooking classes. You could practice meditation here or here. You get the idea. I'll see you around town!
posted by shothotbot at 6:29 AM on June 9, 2007

What kind of music do you like? I (and probably a few others on this site) DJ at a few bars that might be up your alley (i.e. casual & non-'scene'y)

Feel free to contact me for more (info in my profile)
posted by softlord at 6:49 AM on June 9, 2007

NYers are social creatures, or we'd live somewhere without so many people! Honestly, don't worry about it too much.

There are also a whole lot of Londoners here, and they seem to travel in packs, so you might reach out to your friends there during the summer and see whose sister/schoolmate/old chum is living in the city.

And seconding MeFi meetups, they're all about arriving alone and being welcomed by a big group of people who met the same way, either that night or not long ago.
posted by nicwolff at 7:13 AM on June 9, 2007

Seconding the Mefi meetups. The NYC Metafilter contingent are the coolest group of people anywhere on the planet, no question.
posted by Meatbomb at 7:24 AM on June 9, 2007

It would help to know what sorts of things you're into, but definitely just hanging around the East Village/Lower East Side and Williamsburg will allow you to run into tons of like-minded people in a very short period of time.

I just moved to NYC after a year in Berlin and I love it. Very easy to get integrated into the scene here because, as was said above, people are just so social here.
posted by atomly at 11:43 AM on June 9, 2007

meetup.com
posted by krautland at 12:05 PM on June 9, 2007

True, atomly, I didn't really specify the type of things I'm into, so here it goes!

I am into writing, reading, travelling, computers, graphic design (typography, book binding), crafts (sewing, embroidery, knitting) music (mostly alternative rock, a bit of electronic, latin...I'm quite eclectic), gardening, outdoor sports, capoeira (a Brazilian mix of martial art-dance), experimental theatre, cooking, exotic cuisines, photography, singing, dancing (salsa, tango, samba, ballroom, swing...), going out to parties, chilling out at little coffee shops...I realise I should have added this bit before, but hope this is still useful : )

Thanks for the great answers so far!
posted by heartofglass at 12:16 PM on June 9, 2007 [1 favorite has favorites]

Why not hang out around Union Square? The farmer's market there is the biggest in town, fun and handy (M/W/F/Sa), and The Coffee Shop on the corner of Union Square W and 16th St is a Brazilian-slash-USian brunch-centric hangout. Hit 'em with a little Portuguese, and watch the Apple attitude melt!
posted by rob511 at 3:54 PM on June 9, 2007

Start by picking up the weekly Time Out New York at any newsstand (or subscribing). Pick out the things that interest you, and you'll be able to meet people left and right.
posted by fings at 7:15 PM on June 9, 2007

You can combine knitting and coffee-shop chilling at a very friendly place on Bedford Street called The Point.

There's a great little coffee shop/restaurant around the corner from there on Carmine called the Grey Dog, I meet people there all the time.

And there are certainly capoeira schools here you could join.
posted by nicwolff at 7:51 PM on June 9, 2007

Hey, I'm moving there too; it does seem daunting, doesn't it?
posted by iamck at 9:40 PM on June 9, 2007

Do go to some London mefi meetups before you leave; they're good people...some of whom have come to visit NY.
posted by brujita at 9:56 AM on June 10, 2007

Find an activity you enjoy with opportunities to run into the same people regularly. I started going to music gigs every night and running into the same people at a bunch of different shows, and now they are my closest friends.
posted by yeti at 4:29 PM on June 10, 2007

I'm not in NYC, but since I'm your muse I guess its only right for us to grab a coffee while I'm in town again
posted by crewshell at 9:21 PM on June 19, 2007