How to make first year living easier

June 7, 2007 12:13 PM

Are there any faux-pas to watch out for when looking for accomodations for University? Snag: I'm going into first year Undergrad, the year most people either spend at home or in University provided residence.

I'm going out of town for University, but residence is rather more than I can afford. I've been keeping an eye out on craigslist for potential apartments and shared-rooms situations, and I've found a few that involve renting one room in a bigger house that seem quite nice.

Besides asking about location, amenities, utilities, and house rules, is there anything that would make my first year a living hell? Rules like "don't live with people who're all in the same major", say?

For example, the one I like the most has five other girls going into their last year of Teacher's college, whereas I'm going into first year Undergrad. Would the age gap make that big of a difference? Other potentially 'hidden' issues?

posted by Phire to home & garden (21 comments total)

There are a lot of truly awful old apartment buildings -- paper walls, roaches, etc -- that seem to survive only by renting to students. Try not to live in one of those.

Five roommates would be wayyyy to many for me, but I don't think the age gap should be that big a deal.

People in the same major will have useful books to borrow, but I think what you really want is compatibility in social habits. Don't live with girls who have boyfriends over 5 out of 7 nights, unless you want to do that yourself. Don't live with sober folk if you drink, and vice versa. Look around for previous questions here on 'Help, my roommate does drugs!' and 'Help, my roommate hates drugs!' for a good idea of one conflict to avoid...

But don't restrict yourself to people who're just like you. If you're a straight girl, living with gay guys can work very well. Eating similar foods is more useful than sharing something like religion or politics, I think; you want minimal day-to-day minor irritations, not an instant best buddyroo from your hometown. It's nice if you like your roommates, but the toothpaste cap is what makes the world go round.
posted by kmennie at 12:35 PM on June 7, 2007 [1 favorite]

You need to sort of know yourself and know how self-sufficient and tidy you are naturally. And also how easily you make friends and how much you like having your own space. Any situation you walk into may tax any or all of your preferences

Living with the older people might be nice if you'd like to have limits with your house-mates, and not end up feeling like you need to be best friends with them. But if you like the idea of having the people you live with be potential close friends, you may want to search for people closer to you in age or department.

Try to avoid any situation where you are set-up to be excluded. What would worry me about the house you describe is not that everyone is older, but just that everyone is together in the last year of Teacher's College. They will always be chatting about things in their lives, and those things won't be in your life-- I think it would drive me a little bit crazy. Trust your instincts when you meet the people. Ask, casually, about boyfriends. A place with 3 other girls, where each of them has a boyfriend, can end up being a place you share with 6 other people. And make sure that everyone is really in school. I've had friends end up with deadbeat roommates who dropped out but wouldn't move out.

Does your school have an off-campus housing office? Or can you go there and look at bulletin boards and stuff? That may be more fruitful than strictly Craigslisting it.
posted by Mozzie at 12:43 PM on June 7, 2007

Check with your university before you do this. Some schools (including my undergrad) require that you either live off-campus with relatives or you must live in university housing during your first year.

Note enforcement may be sporadic, or even completely absent, but something to be aware of.

A friend of mine had to have his mailing address set to his uncle's house, even though he lived in an apartment by himself.
posted by Ynoxas at 12:56 PM on June 7, 2007

I personally wouldn't enjoy all the action that too many roommates would bring, but that is an individual choice. I had a four person household once, but we were all fairly quiet, introverted people so it worked out, make sure you can get a good handle on what kind of atmosphere you will be moving into.

Honestly access whether you want buddy kind of roommates, or more buisness like relationships. Try to determine if you are more of sharing stuff kind of person, or a mine-mine type. There is nothing wrong with any of these, it just determines what kind of place you will want. I was happiest when I lived in a teeny tiny studio by myself.

I am not naturally tidy, but most roomates will want you to be tidy. I ended up getting 1 fork, 1 spoon, and one all purpose pot. I cooked in it, then let it cool, and ate out of it, then washed it immediately. As opposed to my house now where I have a sink full of dirty dishes because I love cooking, but hate cleaning, but hey the dishes don't bother me!

Think hard about what you do that smells. Laundry smells worse than you think, wash it often or febreeze it. Wash dishes quickly, wash yourself often! Light matches or use spray when you go to the bathroom, just generally don't accidently offend those around you!
posted by stormygrey at 1:01 PM on June 7, 2007

Honestly, you'll want to live with people you can tolerate. They don't have to be exactly like you, but you need to be able to form a peaceful co-existence. I'd rather have a not-awesome apartment with a roommate that I can live with, than a killer apartment with someone I hate or will be uneasy around. It just makes *home* so much more comfortable. Again, this is not to say you have to be friends, you just have to be able to share the same space successfully.

I think five women going into a senior year of what sounds like a professional program would not be a good match. As a freshman, you're going to want to go out and meet people and do cool things and these guys might not be as inclined or tolerant. You're at completely different stages in life and sometimes its hard to accommodate. Have you even contacted them to see if they would be willing to have you as a roommate?

My roommates and I specifically didn't want any undergrad roommates when we were in grad school. On the other side of the coin, when I was a sophomore in college I ended up with a freshman roommate. She thought I was really boring since I didn't want to do freshman-type experiences with her. Eventually she decided she hated me and moved out.

You might want to try waiting until you get closer to the start of school, you'll probably see more stuff pop up and more openings that might be a better fit. Good luck.
posted by ml98tu at 1:04 PM on June 7, 2007

Take what you can afford. Lousy roomates are probably better for you than getting evicted or working more than your studies can bear.
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 1:06 PM on June 7, 2007 [1 favorite]

This isn't an answer to your question exactly, but I noticed you are in Ontario -- Is there any chance you are going to school in Toronto? If so, you might try the Campus Co-op for a cheaper alternative to university-owned residences. I can't give a review, but I bike by them all the time and they seem okay. But I can also ask around for reviews from folks who have lived there if you want.
posted by girlpublisher at 1:08 PM on June 7, 2007

Don't live with non-students. I did one year and it drove me mad. I'd be at school all day and we'd both get home around the same time and they'd spend the evening playing video games, cooking elaborate meals, and generally having leisure time while I did my homework, hating them all. Then two of them started dating and were constantly like snuggling everywhere. I ask you.

If you have a car, make sure you either have parking guaranteed, or there is ample parking near where you live. Ask explicitly whether the house has ever been robbed. Ours has and we've never volunteered the information (c'mon, we don't want to scare everyone off), and nobody has ever asked - however, that seems like info that most people would be interested to know. Also, ask about the neighbors but in university areas there's a lot of turnover so you never know whether the neighbors now will be the same people living near you once you move in.

My best housemates have definitely been grad students. They're busy, mature, and usually more financially stable and independent than undergrads. I live with a master's student and a PhD student right now and we're by far the quietest house in our complex.

Be aware, a lot of the social connections people make in college are from their freshman year dorms. I essentially lived offcampus my first year (I had a dorm room and a serious boyfriend offcampus, ahem) and I still feel, a week before I graduate, that I'm playing catch-up. You should definitely get involved in some things on campus to make up for the lack of dorm life. If your campus has a commuter organization (ours is very active) that might be a good place to start.
posted by crinklebat at 1:15 PM on June 7, 2007

For example, the one I like the most has five other girls going into their last year of Teacher's college, whereas I'm going into first year Undergrad. Would the age gap make that big of a difference?

Yes, the age gap would make a big difference. It's going to be tough for them not to be condescending, even if they're trying not to be. ml98tu makes some good points, too.

Hey, if you meet them and they're awesome and they love you, go for it. But it sounds like a tricky position, power-wise, for you to get into.
posted by desuetude at 1:24 PM on June 7, 2007

Though the teacher's college girls will probably be only 4-5 years older than you, they will be thinking and talking about making lesson plans, getting a placement at a good school, acing their interviews and generally becoming professionals and entering the work force. You're going to be trying to bed that hot girl/guy in your psychology class, figuring out how much drinking is just too much, and trying to decipher what plato was really going on about. You're at totally different life stages with different goals - i vote no to house full of would-be teachers.
posted by sid at 2:03 PM on June 7, 2007

I'd recommend taking out a loan for residence unless you're extremely disciplined. Off-campus is more chaotic and you might live with people who don't even go to school.
posted by rhizome at 2:19 PM on June 7, 2007

otoh from rhizome, my dorm... my whole campus... did a lot of partying it seemed. Though I made lots of friends and had super fun, I could have performed much better off campus. It's much more like real life in difficult ways as well. Juggling responsibilities which are all new to you, well it was harder than I expected it to be.
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 2:25 PM on June 7, 2007

Get loans if you need to (what's a education without debt, anyway?), and stay in residence. You won't regret it. It makes a world of difference; you'll meet tons of people, have a built in support group of people who know exactly what you're going through, there's always somebody around to drink with, watch greys anatomy with, etc. If you're concerned about the social aspect affecting your studies, check with a residence advisor; there may be houses or dorms that are designated as "quiet" or "alcohol-free" that you can apply to. You won't have to deal with the really crappy apartments (altho dorms aren't great, worse is definitely available and often pushed on to students) or horrible landlords. The commute to school will be non-existent, which is a godsend when you wake up 5 minutes before your exam after attempting to pull an all-nighter. And if you do end up with a roommate you can't stand, there are people there to help you either deal with the problems, or get you another room. Try finding a landlord that'll do that for you when your roommate is keeping you up all night, every night, having loud, drunken animal sex 6 feet from your bed.
posted by cgg at 2:56 PM on June 7, 2007

Oh, stop with that "stay in residence" stuff.

I -- Canadian, like the OP -- have never heard of a requirement to live on-campus or with relatives in 1st year, here. What sort of silliness is that?

I would've been miserable living like a little kid at camp in those wee rooms. Ick.

All that ranted, I suspect it depends a fair bit on where you're going to school. Where are you going to school?
posted by kmennie at 3:32 PM on June 7, 2007

You may want to check out Facebook instead of Craigslist to find people to room with. It's definitely the preferred social networking application of the college set these days. The "Accepted into University of Toronto, Class of 2011" group already has 1,500 members! (and there are similar numbers for many other Canadian universities) You could probably easily find other freshman to room with here.
posted by Maxwell_Smart at 4:42 PM on June 7, 2007

I'm going into Commerce at Queen's U.

And the thing I hate with Res is that I can't guarantee myself a single room. I will drive myself insane, and I'm not the type of person who would enjoy being in the middle of activities, anyway. The issue with res that everything is more or less randomized, at least at Queen's...

Lots of good suggestions so far, I'm definitely going to keep an eye out on facebook. I do plan on getting super involved on campus (I already have my eyes on a few things), but dorm life.... not my thing. =\ *introvert*
posted by Phire at 7:03 PM on June 7, 2007

I lived off campus for my entire undergrad. In retrospect, my housemate experiences were entirely random. I lived with friends I ended up not getting along with, strangers I became friends with, and vice versa. There was no clear indicator at the outset of any of my living arrangements of what kind of experience it was going to be (and being at Waterloo in the co-op program... we moved a lot).

In my first year, most of my friends were in their fourth year, so I don't see anything inherently difficult with living with older students. If you like quiet and are introverted, then people who are more serious about their studies could be a plus.
posted by carmen at 7:31 PM on June 7, 2007

I only lived in residence for one year. I didn't really like it, but I did make very close friends. And there are many fewer hidden costs than living in an apartment. I'm glad i did it, and glad I moved out after a year.

People make friends best when they are going through similar trials and have shared experiences. I think it would be easier to swallow the cost and live with people in your own year.

Landlords will be wary of first year students (too many leave halfway through the year). Roommates will want people who share similar life-styles. I"m not saying you can't fit in with the teacher's college folk, but it will be harder, and they might not be a barrel of laughs. (yes, I went to teacher's college too)
posted by gesamtkunstwerk at 8:09 PM on June 7, 2007

The thing with swallowing costs and whatnot is that there are rooms for rent (in a house, apartment, whatever) for 3-400$. Add about 200$ of meals to that (I'm a decent cook) and that's about 600 a month. Res is more than 1150 a month. That's more than double, and not something I'm willing to sacrifice..
posted by Phire at 8:31 PM on June 7, 2007

My little brother goes to Queens. He's been living in residence and liking it quite a bit, but -- he got a private room and lucked into a private washroom; quite a bit different from 'no guarantees.' I agree with the 'hidden costs' thing, but don't let anybody talk you into rez if you don't want it; I would've been miserable in one myself.

There's some big apt building on Princess St -- big brown thing, a few balconies sticking out half-way up, possibly used to be a Queens rez? -- that struck me as exceptionally in the student-slum category. Avoid that...
posted by kmennie at 1:58 AM on June 8, 2007

I'm with cgg - live in res for the 1st year, if at all possible.

I didn't, and I count it as one of the factors for why I bombed out of 1st year at that particular school (U of Waterloo).

High school was (and i believe is still ) poor at preparing you for the university experience, especially the first year away from home. Being in res increases your opportunities to interact with like-minded people, and gives you a better support network for getting those assignments done, or getting help with problems. And it can be big fun.
posted by Artful Codger at 9:14 AM on June 8, 2007