Making New Friends

April 7, 2004 2:38 PM

I'm new to Minneapolis, fresh out of college, working at a job where my co-workers are much older than me, and I'm feeling a bit stumped over how to go about finding some new friends. I enjoy rock shows, bike riding, indie movies etc., but I feel shy going out all by myself. What are some good ways to find a niche and some good pals in a new town?

Besides Metafilter meet-ups, of course.

posted by bonheur to human relations (14 comments total)

craigslist, by popular vote.
posted by obloquy at 2:55 PM on April 7, 2004

Surprisingly, I've found a lot of cool people just by joining the twin_cities Livejournal community. I know Livejournal has a teen-angst reputation preceding it, but when I first moved down here nine months ago without knowing anyone beyond my housemates, I found Livejournal the easiest way to connect with people.

Also: you don't list an e-mail address, but you should e-mail me and I'll give some heads up on a few other things.
posted by Zosia Blue at 3:00 PM on April 7, 2004

For shows, check out Upcoming.org. You might be able to find someone who is going to a show you might have interest in.

There's also the Twin City Bicycling Club which I've meant to check out for a while. I'm lazy like that.

I've lived here my entire life, so I'm not really one to recommend how to meet people when in an entirely new town. However, I'm doing what I normally do when I check out a new city...think of things I like to do, search around for clubs and the like for something to do.
posted by pedantic at 3:03 PM on April 7, 2004

I'm sorry, but Minneapolis doesn't really exist.
posted by wendell at 4:44 PM on April 7, 2004

Join a church, study group or other religious organization that matches your beliefs. They provide a structured environment in which to meet new people, plus no one is ever turned away, plus it's a regular weekly schedule. Also, sometimes there is free food.
posted by gd779 at 4:51 PM on April 7, 2004

Similar to gd's suggestion, find something you think is interesting and volunteer to help out. That's what I did when I first moved to Seattle and knew no one, I started doing work for NARAL and just got used to talking to strangers for a while. These situations are good because they're task oriented, you get to do something useful, they're not necessarily a dating scene, and you can select for activities that interest you. Options in Minneapolis are many: parks & rec, kid's hospitals, minicon [happening RIGHT NOW] and other misc stuff.
posted by jessamyn at 5:12 PM on April 7, 2004

Find a nice, small, bar that has live bands on every week. Go in frequently, but not regularly.

Everything will flow.
posted by armoured-ant at 7:59 PM on April 7, 2004

Don't be afraid to hang out with the people you work with sometimes if they ask, despite the fact that they're older than you. By carefully studying them, you can learn to act more mature, and guys (or chicks if you're into them) dig that. Also, social connections made at work can be really helpful in your career, don't pass up the opportunity.

Also, never ever be ashamed or afraid to go somewhere by yourself. The first few times you do it, it may feel weird, but there is nothing inherently weird about buying one movie ticket or going to a nice restaurant alone. (Tip well in the latter case, though.)
posted by kindall at 11:00 PM on April 7, 2004

If you're into coffee-culture klatch, I'd recommend establishments such as Bob's Java Hut on Lyndale ave in Uptown. Bring your bike, as it has the only motorcycle only parking in the state.

To keep abreast of all the local indy rock haps, you might want to tune into to radio K, the local college radio.

And as you've mentioned your interest in films, you've arrived just in time to catch the annual Mpls / St. Paul Film Festival.

Good luck!
posted by jazzkat11 at 4:59 AM on April 8, 2004

The main thing is just to pursue your interests, and do so outside of your apartment. If you're out, you'll interact with people and one thing will eventually lead to another. I've inadvertantly made tons of friends doing music and mountain biking.

If you want a shortcut, get a dog and take it to one of the dog parks. Everybody talks to everybody there, so you'll get to know people fast. And even if it doesn't work, you'll have a dog.

And finally, I'd second kindall's advice to try the coworker hangout. I met my wife through work, despite thinking that it would be a cold, cold day in hell that I ever spent any of my own time with a co-worker...
posted by COBRA! at 7:19 AM on April 8, 2004

Find an outdoor club, if there is one, that runs weekend/ evening hiking and/or biking trips. About ten years ago I joined the Appalacian Mountain Club here in Boston and it totally changed my life. Met a lot of good people, including my wife.

It brings people together to do an activity. Unlike a club, bar, coffee house, there's no pressure to meet people, to look cool, to make small talk, etc, but meeting people is a natural by-product.

A lot of day trips end up at a restaurant or bar so there's plenty of socializing to be had.
posted by bondcliff at 7:37 AM on April 8, 2004

Minnesotans have been considered some of the nicest people in the country. So not true. We are only nice to the people that are one of us...meaning locals. We can be downright rude to the transplants that move into our city from other areas. So if meeting new friends/people doesn't work out, don't worry. Just try to find other non locals.

Hopefully you won't encounter any of this though.

And this is the only concert list you'll ever need. It has everything.
posted by emoeby at 7:38 AM on April 8, 2004

new people
posted by terrapin at 9:40 AM on April 8, 2004

Single Volunteers. Most events are one-time-only, have an even mix of guys and gals, and include a social event afterwards. I did a bunch in DC back in my bachelor days.
posted by MrMoonPie at 11:00 AM on April 8, 2004