Is my friend a stalker?
May 26, 2007 1:17 PM Subscribe
Is my friend a stalker? And if so, how do I help her stop?
posted by anonymous to human relations (22 answers total) 4 users marked this as a favorite
About 5 months ago my friend hooked up with a guy for about a week. She said it was amazing and she fell HARD.
Since then she has been IMing him, emailing him, calling and text messaging him many times a day - I'm guessing about 8 times a day on average. From what she's told me/shown me, the content is generally inane, but she'll sometimes ask him to get together, or tell him how much she likes him, or how sexy she finds him. Sometimes the message/email/im is quite intense - long and full of emotion.
She also drives by his house a lot - more than I think she's admitting. I'm guessing about once a day. Sometimes she leaves him gifts or notes.
At first he was emailing, texting, calling, IM-ing back to her fairly consistently. They were sometimes affectionate, sometimes silly, but mostly explaining that he was not in a place to get into a relationship.
Over the past few months his responses have petered out to nothing. But she persists.
Suggesting that she not get in touch with him seems not to work. I've mentioned other men that might be interested in her. No go. She just cannot seem to stop.
Having been on the receiving end of this type of behavior, I understand how it goes from funny, to annoying, to upsetting, to scary. I have told her my story and she does not get the analogy.
To her credit - I do believe this guy led her to believe that there was the possibility of a long-term relationship. Often his responses to her indicated that he has some interest in her. And he has never straight out told her to leave him alone.
And she does jokingly admit to "stalking" him.
FWIW she is in her late 30's, never married, no kids, and smart and sucessful in every other area of her life. She has mentioned that she behaved similarly with another man a few years ago.