I hope their first child be a masculine child
May 21, 2007 9:35 AM Subscribe
I have just been "schooled" by my Long Island in laws about what I am expected to give, in cash and gifts, for my neice's upcoming wedding. I was apalled, and am wondering if what they keep calling, "wedding protocol" is TRUE or some white trash, goombah way to get guests to finance the wedding.
posted by joaniemcchicken to society & culture (77 answers total) 6 users marked this as a favorite
Background: Irish, Catholic, grew up in Bay Ridge with Italians. Very class and money conscious, but not very classy. They informed my SO and I that it is long time wedding protocol to: 1: Give an engagement gift from a place they are registerred at. 2: Give a CASH gift equalling the amount of the cost of our dinner (over $100) and, a WEDDING gift, also from the registry. My mother-in-law, who is 86, in ill health and living on a shoe string has been told that she should buy the bride and groom an entire place setting which comes to $800. ASIDE from the $100 cash gift and the engagement gift.
I learned that they are planning on inviting 400 guests, and that the cost of the wedding will be covered by the expected cash gift from each person.
I have been told this is customary, and all my apoplectic looks and the ire of my SO and my mother-in-law have not CLUED them in yet that this seems classless, greedy and not at ALL real wedding protocol.
Am I wrong? I have never, in any part of the US I have lived, and in my 50 plus years, heard of ANY of these wedding "etiquettes." If this is protocol for some tiny part of the US, please tell me, and even if it is, please help me craft a suitable reply that will let them know what I think of these bizarre, mafioso kind of wedding expectations.