Why did she laugh when I kissed her?

May 19, 2007 1:36 AM

Friend laughed when I kissed her cheek/ear what does it mean?

I have this female friend who I am intrigued with since we get along so well especially being as she is as weird humored as i am..and that is so new to me. Also intelligent and beautiful. Been hanging out together for almost 6 months. Great vibes. Recently had a superb 8 hr day together that had more chemistry than usual. Body language etc all seemed to say "kiss me, make a move" but I chickened out. Our next scheduled get together didn't have as much vibe (she was exhausted) but I had determined not to let another visit go by without at least a kiss on the cheek goodnight (up to now only hugs) I did just that and she giggled/laughed and looked a little dazed blushed and smiling. No mention of it as I said bye. Haven't heard from her in 3 days(but that's not unusual). Going crazy trying to decipher what it all meant. Any insights? I'd be cool with whatever our relationship became or didn't.

posted by swiffa to human relations (24 comments total)

I'd wager a nervous laugh. It's just speculation but maybe she expected all or nothing, and wasn't sure what to make of a friendly kiss? Or maybe she expected nothing.
posted by rolypolyman at 1:41 AM on May 19, 2007

I can't imagine why anyone would be weirded out by a kiss on the cheek. Is she very young? Shy? Not much experience with dating? Without knowing more about her, it is very difficult to even try to figure out what she was thinking.
posted by necessitas at 2:08 AM on May 19, 2007

necessitas, she's 21 very friendly outgoing and well travelled. Has many other guy friends too.
posted by swiffa at 2:14 AM on May 19, 2007

you probably breathed down her ear, she was tickled and didn't think twice about it.
posted by trashcan at 2:18 AM on May 19, 2007

Some people laugh/giggle when in romantic situations because they're happy. Others because they're nervous, and still others because their partner is funny looking. (Ok, so this last one is rarely if ever true, but I suspect can be the unfounded conclusion of the other person). I suppose the moral is that it differers based on the person, and perhaps asking would be the best idea. From what you say, the fact that she didn't appear unhappy, or recoil away from you indicates that she was fine with what happened. Ask her how she felt about it the next time you see her, or just go with the flow, and try again if it seems right, and she seems receptive.
posted by sentient at 2:19 AM on May 19, 2007 [1 favorite has favorites]

My guess is that you seemed uncomfortable or nervous and she just picked up on that vibe and giggled out of nervousness. Or, like trashcan said, you may have breathed down her ear. Either way, try not to read too much into her reaction. I doubt she meant much by it.
posted by necessitas at 2:37 AM on May 19, 2007

"Been hanging out together for almost 6 months. Great vibes. Recently had a superb 8 hr day together that had more chemistry than usual. Body language etc all seemed to say "kiss me, make a move"

You've kissed her, now make a move!
posted by brautigan at 4:03 AM on May 19, 2007 [1 favorite has favorites]

Young man, you know you want to, and you might as well. If you are rebuffed, that will be a valuable lesson too.

People react the same way for different reasons. People responding to your question will posit different reasons for her behaviour. For all you know, she has her own question going on with her friend - he kissed me on the cheek, what does this mean? What's going on between you is going to be a mutual mystery until one of you is grown-up enough to use your words or makes a definitive snogging-type move.

very friendly outgoing and well travelled. Has many other guy friends too.

Then no doubt if she is not interested in you, she will be able to let you down gently. If you misinterpreted, she'll forgive you. At your age this shit happens all the time.

You know what? You can not only drive yourself crazy with trying to decipher secret signs, you can drive someone else crazy too. Because you could act all coy and weird and totally freak her out too, whether she's into you romantically or not. So do everyone a favour, decide for yourself whether you want to breach the platonic barrier, and then ask.
posted by i_am_joe's_spleen at 4:27 AM on May 19, 2007 [1 favorite has favorites]

You just need to relax. You're over-thinking this and making it more awkward than it has to be. Go with the situation and do what feels right. If she's not into it, she'll let you know. A giggle and blushing sounds positive to me so give her a call already.
posted by purephase at 5:01 AM on May 19, 2007

Plate of beans.
posted by flabdablet at 6:50 AM on May 19, 2007 [1 favorite has favorites]

Laughing is often something you do when you don't know what else to do. It could mean anything.
posted by Jess the Mess at 7:33 AM on May 19, 2007

"Going crazy trying to decipher what it all meant."

or

Simply asking her how she feels. (Given your statement, "I'd be cool with whatever our relationship became or didn't. ")

Which is less stressful?
posted by desjardins at 7:52 AM on May 19, 2007

but I chickened out

Stop doing that. Call her soon and kiss her again.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 7:54 AM on May 19, 2007

Sometimes it amazes me how much the real world resembles Sweet Valley High.

O young man, gather her into your arms and rapturously kiss her with the kisses of your mouth. But no tongue...you're not ready for that.

Or nuke her from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.
posted by Midnight Creeper at 7:56 AM on May 19, 2007 [4 favorites has favorites]

I second Midnight Creeper.

This is not a bad sign necessarily. You've dipped your toe in the pool, now try an ankle and see if there's any crocs.
posted by jkl345 at 8:51 AM on May 19, 2007

Maybe she's ticklish?
posted by wsg at 9:14 AM on May 19, 2007

Who knows? If a guy friend I liked kissed me on the cheek, I'd probably laugh or giggle, so it's not neccessarily a bad sign.
posted by catatethebird at 9:52 AM on May 19, 2007

after six months, she was despairing of ever getting a kiss, and she's probably discussed this with her girlfriends, and one of them said you were gonna kiss her on the very next date, and the other said it was odds-on for no action between now and the beijing olympics, so she was probably thinking of this conversation when you kissed her, and what she was going to say to those gf's in the next conversation.
posted by bruce at 10:58 AM on May 19, 2007 [1 favorite has favorites]

Let us know what happens!
posted by rolypolyman at 11:10 AM on May 19, 2007

Dude she obviously likes you. She spends 8 hour days with you - if a girl spends 8 hours with you and doesn't completely reject you when you try something, you have a green light.

Relax. As long as you're not totally awkward about it, I don't think there's any chance that she would stop you (admittedly from what little I know). But please, life is too short. Get on with it and have fun.
posted by empty commercial spaces at 11:35 AM on May 19, 2007

Yea, bruce is right- it's very possible she feels shut down. You need to kiss this girl, for reals.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 1:35 PM on May 19, 2007 [1 favorite has favorites]

Random note - I'm a girl, and my SO will randomly laugh in any situation. The first time this happened we'd only been going out for a short while, I kissed his neck, he started snickering. He apologized profusely because I was indignant and a bit hurt, and he had absolutely no idea why he was laughing - he just did.

It doesn't have to mean anything. :) Best of luck.
posted by Phire at 8:55 PM on May 19, 2007

I second that she likes you. I think if she didn't, her reaction would have been quite different and wouldn't have included blushes or smiles!
posted by Mael Oui at 9:15 PM on May 19, 2007

She probably doesnt even know why she laughed.
posted by damn dirty ape at 12:49 AM on May 20, 2007