I keep writing but I don't get to the end.

May 14, 2007 7:23 PM

I'm going back to school and I haven't written essays in about...oh...five years. I can brainstorm like crazy, but I can't seem to structure it properly. As my girlfriend puts it: my essays are just black holes that suck up my time, and I get no where.

Forgive me if the answer is out there hiding behind the simplest search, if I try to look up "how to write an essay", I'll get all caught up in something and I'll get nowhere.

Like I said above, I can brainstorm/pre-write like crazy, the problem is that I end up saying things I didn't even mean to...and then fleshing out those ideas...and then realizing they don't fit into what I was originally trying to say.

I don't know how better to do this: I'm spinning my wheels. How do I write better?

By the way, I know the phrasing of this question sucks, but if I don't get it out there, I won't get it out there. I'll clarify anything in responses. I just need to start the process.

posted by Brainy to grab bag (32 comments total)

1. What kind of essays (eg for what class)?

2. Does your school have a writing center, or can your professor help? This is something that works best when you can work with someone in person plotting things out, and getting feedback on your actual writing.
posted by LobsterMitten at 7:35 PM on May 14, 2007

Well, since this is for the application (wow, I can't believe I left that out...I must be frazzled) I can't really take advantage of any professors.

A couple of general essays: what are your academic goals, what classes would you want to take, what book changed your life.

I have the answers...but in an unformed way. I just can't see to flesh them out well.
posted by Brainy at 7:49 PM on May 14, 2007

This may make you groan, but it sounds like you're missing the outlining step in essay-writing. Instead of brainstorm --> write, it's brainstorm --> outline --> write. The good news is that you don't have to do the old I, A, B, II, A, B if you don't want to. Just find a way to organize what you have written down. Put related ideas in boxes, or clusters, or make a ven diagram or whatever. I've heard some students call it "roadmapping." The point is to figure out the key ideas you want to hit and what you're going to say about them.

Also, don't brainstorm for too long. 5 minutes should be more than enough for an essay. Anything more than that will have you going off on a tangent. If you can't come up with something after 5 min, then take a break and try again later.
posted by Kronoss at 7:50 PM on May 14, 2007

Kronoss, it's the roadmapping I have the problem with. I have trouble figuring out the core of my ideas to figure out where they should go in the essays.
posted by Brainy at 7:58 PM on May 14, 2007

Ok, what program are you applying for?

These essays have to be short, I assume. A good basic structure for an essay is 5 paragraphs:
1. Introduction and thesis
2. Main point/example/bit of evidence A
3. Main point/example/bit of evidence B
4. Main point/example/bit of evidence C
5. Recap and conclusion


So let's work through one.
Pick one of these essays that you have to write. Tell us the question.
Then give us, here in this thread, three main points that you would like to make in that essay.
posted by LobsterMitten at 8:02 PM on May 14, 2007

(Or give us six main points, and we can help you narrow it down to three.)
posted by LobsterMitten at 8:03 PM on May 14, 2007

I hate writing essays, I much prefer commentaries. One thing that my teachers have drilled into me though - your thesis is absolutely essential. I've spent forever thinking of the wording of a thesis before.

Once you decide on the wording, link everything and I do mean absolutely everything back to the thesis. Paragraph A: point 1/2/3, therefore this supports what I'm saying BECAUSE xyz.

For example:
Thesis: AskMe is a good resource because of the population
1) entrance price
2) varied population
3) above average education.

1) you have to pay an entrance price. to do that, you have to have access to funds, and you have to actually want a membership. this minimizes trolls and spammers. Therefore the answers will be serious, therefore making askme a good resource.

(overly simplified, but you get the point)
posted by Phire at 8:04 PM on May 14, 2007

I recently attended a writing seminar, paid for by work. (Nice!) I have always felt like I was a pretty good writer but, like you, I seemed to spin my wheels. In the class, we had to write a story in one day by using the instructors' method. I was amazed at how well it went. Nothing new or groundbreaking, but having A METHOD to follow did wonders.

The method I followed:

-Choose your topic. Maybe your title.

-Write a list of ideas/topics/specific events you want to cover. NOT an outline, just an unedited list.

-Start writing; either free-writing (my choice) or by making the list into an outline, then going from there. Don't edit as you write, just write. This is your first draft.

-LET IT SIT. Go to lunch. Go to bed. Get away from it for at least an hour if possible.

-Edit and write your next/final draft.

-Have someone else proofread it for clarity and grammar/spelling.

-Polish if needed.

Obviously these are VERY broad steps, and mostly obvious. A lot will happen in between the steps. But follow them and see what happens.

I was taught in a high school writing class to be especially aware of prepositional phrases. See how many you can do without. It will clean up your writing by either getting rid of some of them altogether, or replacing them with less wordy substitutes.

Also, be ruthless in getting rid of anything that doesn't help the purpose of your writing. Don't be afraid to write it. But don't be afraid to cross it out, either.

Good luck!
posted by The Deej at 8:07 PM on May 14, 2007

The Lively Art of Writing is the book you need if you're going to write essays.
posted by kindall at 8:11 PM on May 14, 2007

I know some people can't outline because they don't know what they are going to say until they start writing. If that is you, the trick is to write the first draft, figure out what you said, then organize your thoughts (make an outline), THROW OUT the first draft and write your paper. The trick is not to try to edit the first draft - it is too jumbled.
posted by metahawk at 8:18 PM on May 14, 2007

Wow. Great advice.

Lobster & Phire, you guys seem to have hit the nail on the head. I've been writing these essays more as narratives, getting caught up in expositional detail and then feeling like it's not answering the question (it's not) and scrapping it.

Lobster, since you asked, one of the questions is:

Write about a book that gave you with a new way of thinking. Describe how this work has influenced the way you see yourself, others, or society.

The book is Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain and the points I want to make are:

-it taught me that the brain does things we don't expect.

- complex neurology has practical applications in daily life

- learning to harness these neurological states can help us achieve heights once thought mystical.

wow. That's much clearer already.
posted by Brainy at 8:19 PM on May 14, 2007

Oh the program I'm applying for is Adult Bachelor at New School, to do a concentration in software design.
posted by Brainy at 8:21 PM on May 14, 2007

Beautiful - it looks like you have a good plan for the book essay. What's the next one?
posted by LobsterMitten at 8:24 PM on May 14, 2007

Some things I try to keep in mind when writing:
1. Don't try to write and edit at the same time.
2. Excellent writing comes from revision.
3. Sometimes I write the body of an essay first, then write the conclusion, and then write a suitable intro.
posted by RussHy at 8:35 PM on May 14, 2007

Summarize your present educational plans and goals. Explain why you have decided to resume your education now. Discuss in detail how study in the liberal arts will enable you to realize your academic objectives.

- to get my bachelors, go on to do a graduate program in software design, create amazing things.

- i stumbled across software design and realized it allowed me to combine several of my loves/obsessions to do things that my current career barely allowed me to do

- liberal arts will allow me to focus on psychology, to balance out the extensive design background i have.

Lobster, since you seem to know so much, why is this so easy here?
posted by Brainy at 8:38 PM on May 14, 2007

A bit of advice about the "book that changed your life". They probably do want to hear a bit about your own life in that question. The three points you list here are more abstract things the book taught you - not so much about how the book changed you or changed the direction of your life.

So you might think about how the book changed you. These general things that it taught you -- did these lead you to be more interested in neuroscience? Or more interested in art? Or does it have anything to do with your interest in going back to school?
posted by LobsterMitten at 8:41 PM on May 14, 2007

Probably because the awareness of the presence of others who can help you with this reduces the despair, and despair tends to be counterproductive. *grins*
posted by Phire at 8:42 PM on May 14, 2007

Listen to Phire and LobsterMitten.

First, make your thesis. Nothing else matters now. Just your thesis.

Then, figure out what your three (or more) body paragraphs will be about, then indicate it in the introduction.

So, "By analysing the effects of AskMe's entrance fee (para 1), varied population (para 2), and above-average education (para 3), one can see that AskMe is a good resource because of the population." This gives people an idea of where the hell you're going, and gives you an idea too. It's a two-fer!

For the body paragraphs... It's all "point, proof, analysis." Using Phire's example, your first point will be "askme's entrance fee increases the quality of the answers." Proof would involve comparing askme's quality to that of free answer sites, analysis would then LINK back why the quality of answers makes AskMe a good resource. Most essays won't be this obvious in the link between point, proof and analysis.

Then make sure all your body paragraphs transition well, have a clear link to the thesis in the first sentence (this helps focus you and the reader), and finish up the intro and conclusion.

You might always want to prettify things, cause this is just a bare-bones 'get your ideas ouutt' method.
posted by flibbertigibbet at 8:44 PM on May 14, 2007

Brainy, it's easier when you're writing for a definite audience of people who are here, listening, now. I don't know why. It's true for me too, and I've written more papers than I can even begin to count.

(That's why, once you get into the program, you should to talk to your profs and TAs at their office hours, and set up appointments at the writing center. You'd be surprised -- relatively few students take advantage of all the professional writing teachers at colleges!)

Plus it will get easier the more you do it, seriously. Application essays are a pain, but once you're in school and doing it more regularly it will be much easier.
posted by LobsterMitten at 8:45 PM on May 14, 2007

The prettifying bit only works if there's no word limit though. *looks at her own essays and sighs*

Oh! Acronym from English teacher for exam-essay writing that might help: SEAL

State
Explain
Analyse
Link

It's essentially what flibbertigibbet outlined, but if you ever have to write under pressure, it's a good mnemonic. :)
posted by Phire at 8:46 PM on May 14, 2007

First of all, don't feel like a loser because you are having trouble writing. Some people study this subject for a lifetime an never feel that they have it all figured out. Think of improving your writing as you would working out at the gym. You will get a little stronger every time you do it. And the results will be incremental. You won't win a Pulitzer based on any "tip" that someone gives you in here. But you just might learn something that will make your next essay a bit stronger.

First, you mention having trouble focusing on your main idea. Remember that every essay has a unique writing prompt (or question) and before you write a word you should feel confident that you understand what the question is asking. Once you understand, you should try to answer the prompt with one sentence. This will help you to focus your idea.

Next, you should imagine your paper in parts or chunks. Each of these chunks should focus on a different way that you will support what the prompt is asking for.

For example:

If the prompt was to write an argumentative essay about Mexican illegal immigration, and you were arguing AGAINST the merits of illegal immigration to the United States, you might divide your paper into the general ideas (chunks) that you will explore to make a convincing argument.

Chunk 1: Illegal immigration from Mexico readily threatens our homeland security.

Chunk 2: America has enough domestic troubles in the areas of education, health care, and poverty without adding the troubles that other country’s citizens might add.

Chunk 3: Illegal immigrants should not desert their own country to bring their gifts and talents to another country. Mexico needs them.

Focus only on one chunk at a time as you are writing. Many writers who have a hard time focusing are thinking only of the big picture all of the time. Focus on some of the smaller chunks and your job will seem smaller and better organized.

Then you should rewrite; rewrite; rewrite. An essay generally doesn’t get worse with a rewrite.

Don’t give up. Keep up your dukes and stay in the fight. You will become a better writer if you stay inquisitive. Best of luck.
posted by boots77 at 8:46 PM on May 14, 2007

Thank you so much guys. I'm going to go try and apply this all now. I'll be coming back here while I'm working on it so don't be surprised to see best answers pop up after a while.
posted by Brainy at 8:53 PM on May 14, 2007

Remember the reporter's six Ws - who, what, where, how, when and why. Answer these questions within your broad outline and essays practically write themselves. Really, it does work. Well, mostly it helps when you don't know what to say, or you are getting off track, but if either of these are your issue, try it.
posted by caddis at 8:57 PM on May 14, 2007

I'll be checking in for about another hour tonight, but will also check back tomorrow. Feel free to post revised outlines etc, or anything that's giving you trouble. :)
posted by LobsterMitten at 9:00 PM on May 14, 2007

Oh - and another bit of advice, for AFTER you've done the first draft. (Don't think about this right now.)

Once you have a reasonable first draft, you should put it down and not think about it for at least a day. Several days, if you can manage it. This is really the only way to properly edit your own work -- to see if a stranger will be able to understand what you were going for, you need to separate yourself from it -- to read it as if it were written by someone else. Only a short break will allow you to do this.

After the waiting period, print a copy for yourself, and a copy for a friend to read if you feel comfortable.

You're looking for:
a. did you succeed in getting your point across, and making it sort of interesting?
b. is there anything extra - not really helping you get your point across, not really serving a purpose - in the essay? (if so, cut it)
c. do your paragraphs flow logically from one to the next? (if not, add in a sentence or two as needed to clarify the transition you have in mind. Something as simple as "A second major impact of the book was..." can make a big difference, if your writing tends to jump around.)
d. are your grammar, spelling, and general word usage ok?
posted by LobsterMitten at 9:17 PM on May 14, 2007

It's easier here because people helped you break it down into small steps with clear goals. You can do the same for yourself. If I have too many thoughts about something and can't see the structure clearly as a whole, I dump each thought to its own little slip of paper and then pile them by topics. I decide what order to hit the topics in (asking myself the questions that Lobster asked you), and then I pick up each topic and decide what order to address the ideas in (what goes in the initial statement, what goes in the analysis, etc, as per Phire's SEAL). Then I have the pressure of memory and the pressure of structure off, and I can concentrate on making the text flow and making it clear.

A lot of the actual techniques for expressing ideas clearly just have to come through example and practice. I recommend The Nuts and Bolts of College Writing as the single most all-round useful book for that sort of thing. One of very few style books that I have found worthwhile.
posted by eritain at 9:46 PM on May 14, 2007

I don't think you should feel bad that an application essay is being a black hole of time and energy. In my experience these are extremely difficult to write, much harder than an ordinary essay for a class, and really do suck up a lot of time. I'm a grad student in a writing-heavy field, and I still have difficulty writing them, despite being able to churn out academic prose at a reasonably steady rate, and despite the fact that the ones I have to write are much more well-defined than an undergrad application essay.

Standard advice suggests something like a three stage brainstorming -> outlining -> writing process. In my experience this works for far fewer people than you'd think, and I'm not sure I know anyone who really uses this all of the time. For me, what works is jumping right into the writing, but not starting with the introduction (which is also always a black hole when you aren't sure what you want to say). One aspect of this (as metahawk suggests above) is that the first draft will be pretty bad and disorganized, so often needs to be scrapped entirely. But this isn't actually a big deal -- you can reuse anything you want to, and by this time your ideas will be much clearer.

One thing that might help you organize your ideas is try to have a conversation with someone about what your essay is supposed to say. If you do this with someone who will engage with you, aspects of the organization and what parts need clarifying may become much clearer as you talk.
posted by advil at 10:03 PM on May 14, 2007

Seconding the immediacy of someone else reading and waiting on you being a HUGE motivation. I can whip off essays for tests in-class like nothing, but stumble horribly over writing large research papers at home. This past weekend, I was struggling with 7 (!) essays to write by Monday, and no idea how I was going to get them done.

A wonderful friend offered to call me up every few hours during times when I was working, and brainstorm with me briefly and plan what to do next. They were all 3-5 minute calls, every 1.5 to 3 hours, depending on our respective schedules, but they helped immensely. I was able to focus and think far more clearly, and get much more done in a short period of time, simply because I knew my friend would be calling at X:00 time. Granted, not everyone has someone who can do this for them - but if you do, see if they'd be willing to do so!

I'm rather proud to report that, yes, I did get everything done in time, and credit much of that to those simple phone calls. If not for them, I would have sat stewing in my own frustration, anxiety, and despair and gotten nothing done at all.
posted by po at 10:37 PM on May 14, 2007

OK, question one: Who is going to read this essay and why?

My guess is no-one, unless you reach a tie-break situation. And this would be a tie-break for a course in software design? My most influential book would be one strongly relevant to software design, it might be controversial but it wouldn't be something that is tainted by the "junk science" concerns of right-brain/left-brain ideas. (If you really want to go with that book, stress the relevance to design and show signs of healthy scepticism.) Applications are not about laying bare the inner essence of your core being, they are about showing you are a good match with their selection criteria.

If I was assessing these essays for their writing quality, what would I look for? It wouldn't be prize-wining standard in essay-writing -- remember that ignorance is a student's essential contribution to the education process. I would be looking for indications that the applicant could learn to perform well in the types of writing relevant to my subject. I would look for evidence of logical thinking, with arguments followed through as coherent threads. Flowery language, or even totally grammatically correct language would not be high on my list of priorities.

Supposing the place has so many applicants that the essays would be used to do a first sift by a general admin clerk rather than a departmental specialist ? What would the instructions to that clerk look like? First check the tangible qualifications, marks, experience etc etc. Lastly, look at the essays. Toss out the really badly written. For positive points, look for signs of being enthusiastic about their subject and evidence that they know what the subject entails. What do you think a clerk's standard for good writing is, as opposed to a Literature specialist's? I reckon simple, clear, easy to understand, logical flow of argument (actually things that the Literature specialist would like too).

Don't sweat this too much. Bluntly, you could buy yourself a good essay or two, and the college knows it.They are not going to rush to offer you a place just based on a good essay.
posted by Idcoytco at 4:34 AM on May 15, 2007

This is the southern elementary school teacher version of what LobsterMitten said
(1. Introduction and thesis
2. Main point/example/bit of evidence A
3. Main point/example/bit of evidence B
4. Main point/example/bit of evidence C
5. Recap and conclusion).

I heard this... we'll say 12 years ago... and I still remember it.

1. Tell 'em what you're gonna tell em'
2. Tell 'em
3. Tell 'em what you done told 'em

The premise of these methods is that people typically remember what you said LAST the best. Then, they remember what you said FIRST. And, of course, we ignore the junk in the middle. So, knock your intro and summary out of the water and make sure you have enough info to support them in the middle sections.
posted by odi.et.amo at 8:53 AM on May 15, 2007 [1 favorite]

1. Tell 'em what you're gonna tell em'
2. Tell 'em
3. Tell 'em what you done told 'em

The writing seminar instructor told us this, then suggested an updated version:

1. Tell 'em
posted by The Deej at 1:10 PM on May 15, 2007

Oh, you can also set the screensaver to play music from your itunes library, so that's a kinda cool always-on thing.
posted by The Deej at 3:20 PM on May 15, 2007