How to control one's sexual urges

May 12, 2007 4:36 PM

Hi: Is there a drug. mineral or Vitamin I can buy to curb my sexual urges? I am 37 years old male and just became single. I am having a hard time with this so please be serious.
posted by Noodles to health (34 comments total)

I don't know of any drugs, but I do know that you can redirect that sexual energy to other activities. If you exercise, busy yourself, or other energy-intensive activities, you will notice that the sexual drive and energy decreases dramatically. Next time you get a strong urge just go run a mile or two, run some errands, etc. It'll help.
posted by kraigory at 4:46 PM on May 12, 2007

Saltpeter doesn't work as an anaphrodisiac; certian SSRI's and other medications do, but that effect is generally considered an undesireable side effect, and I doubt you'd want to deal with the main line issues that result from unwarranted use of such medications. Cold showers, sports, and redirection of energy to other endeavors are the classic coping strategies. If your libido isn't one you can readily channel, you may need to discuss the issue with a professional.
posted by paulsc at 4:49 PM on May 12, 2007

Can't you just take matters into your own hand, so to speak? That really is the time honoured cure for a bachelor with a high libido... rather a better idea than medication, I think, not to mention more fun.
posted by modernnomad at 4:54 PM on May 12, 2007 [1 favorite]

no offense modernnomad, but wouldn't that just add to the problem? If you replace sexual activity with sexual activity, you aren't REALLY dealing with the sexual urges.
posted by kraigory at 4:58 PM on May 12, 2007

There is no anaphrodisiac available over-the-counter.
posted by Steven C. Den Beste at 5:02 PM on May 12, 2007

See previously and previously.
posted by alms at 5:04 PM on May 12, 2007

Um, I'm pretty sure that excessive sexual urges don't generally come about due to an underabundance of some chemical or other. I'm pretty sure that they generally have a psychological, rather than physiological origin (although from popular fiction I have learned that senility, brain tumors, and demonic possession apparently do make you a lot hornier).

So, maybe you can talk with a therapist -- specifically, a sex therapist? You won't be the first person they've talked to about this. If any vitamin or pill exists, they will know about it. But if you have sexual urges that are taking over, this is something that needs to be dealt with, not papered over with medicine (as someone who takes ADD medicine, I know that sometimes the "solution" to a problem can be a pill, but it should also come with real emotional/mental work and an awareness of the dimensions of your problem).
posted by Deathalicious at 5:06 PM on May 12, 2007

no offense modernnomad, but wouldn't that just add to the problem? If you replace sexual activity with sexual activity, you aren't REALLY dealing with the sexual urges.

Well, you kinda are though. You know, do it once per day (or as necessary, whatever), and the urge is gone. That being said, this person has probably tried that and not found it to be helpful.

The OP may be interested in this thread, which asks a similar question. Lots of snark, but a few answers buried in there.
posted by !Jim at 5:09 PM on May 12, 2007

A girlfriend and I both independently concluded that the SSRI Paxil is the perfect breakup drug. Desire just evaporates. And if one did have sex it was vaguely pleasant--like a massage, but excitement didn't build, and orgasm was impossible. I assume it works on guys more or less the same way.
posted by tula at 5:10 PM on May 12, 2007

kraigory-

No its releasing your sexual urges. Once you complete, its the same as if you had just had sex. So while noodles is awaiting his next sexual encounter with a partner, he can atleast relieve the pressures and urgency associated with the urges.
posted by wile e at 5:12 PM on May 12, 2007

Opiates knock it out. Muscle relaxers it suppress it big time. Tranquilizers suppress it. SSRI's have a common sex dysfunction side effect that I do not understand people not talking about it more.

So, over-the-counter, I would go for valerian. I have used valerian for its anxielytic properties in the past (i.e. it is nature's Xanax) and have never felt particularly horny when it was in my system.

I am not a medical doctor.
posted by bukvich at 5:14 PM on May 12, 2007

If you go long enough without, and without even much opportunity to take care of it yourself, it'll kind of go away. Use it or lose it. It takes a while, though.

SSRIs can take your sex drive away eventually, especially if you take them for many years. However, then it may not really come back, or not at all quickly, and the SSRIs can destroy enjoyment, and make your relationships very difficult for your partner(s).
posted by dilettante at 5:31 PM on May 12, 2007

I cannot imagine a doctor prescribing SSRIs or habituating substances such as opiates to combat what can be solved through a quick wank. RX: Bittorrent client and good torrent site
posted by geoff. at 5:31 PM on May 12, 2007

SSRI's have a common sex dysfunction side effect that I do not understand people not talking about it more.

Because quite often (but not always) depression itself is an anaphrodisiac, so instead of losing interest the patient just doesn't get it back.
posted by watsondog at 5:33 PM on May 12, 2007

Trying to deal with this yourself via drugs is a ridiculous idea. In order, this is about what you should do:

1. Masturbate. It's worked since the dawn of humanity.

2. If that doesn't work, exercise more.

3. If you feel that your sexual urges are out of control at this point, see a therapist. That person may prescribe something to you, or simply want to talk with you. (Or even say that you don't have a problem at all.)
posted by Mikey-San at 5:36 PM on May 12, 2007

Noodles, unless there's more to the story you're not telling us, I'm with modernnomad. Rosie Palm and her five buddies should be able to help you out, no?
posted by Justinian at 6:06 PM on May 12, 2007

Bear in mind also that if you use SSRIs or similar to kill your sex drive, you may find yourself with no real interest in seeking a new partner.
posted by tomble at 6:19 PM on May 12, 2007

Questions of budget, sex-safety and personal morality notwithstanding, there's escorts, or even casual sex.
posted by cortex at 6:22 PM on May 12, 2007

Ask a veterinarian to see what they give to racehorses.
posted by acro at 6:22 PM on May 12, 2007

Um, I'm pretty sure that excessive sexual urges don't generally come about due to an underabundance of some chemical or other.

An overabundance of testosterone will produce excessive sexual urges.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 6:28 PM on May 12, 2007

It's not answering your question (it's not a chemical) but I would also recommend therapy. I won't recommend masturbation. One has to assume you've tried it, as it would be the first thing that would occur to every human being on Earth.
posted by Nabubrush at 6:53 PM on May 12, 2007

Exercise has been linked to a rise in the production of testosterone. Wouldn't that increase your libido? Anecdotally, I have found that unless I am absolutely destroyed by weariness from exercise, it tends to lift my mood and with it my libido.

There is clearly only one solution for this problem: prayer.
posted by tim_in_oz at 7:16 PM on May 12, 2007

Scrap the prayer idea, as it is missing the point (sorry tim, but the only way to make someone even more freaked out about repressed urges is to repress them more).

Masturbate as often and as much as you can stand. I assure you that if you pull one off 4 or 5 times a day, the last thing you will be worried about is sexual urges.

Don't feel guilty about masturbating this much. It is in service of making you feel better by not feeling urges so strongly. It is infinitely better than taking a pill.

The only reason I can assume that you aren't already masturbating to this degree is that you have some hang up about it that is either based in a social stigma or a religious one. Therapy may help in this case.

On a side note, you've made this much more complicated than it is (but for unknown reasons). Just deal with it directly by either enjoying sex more often with someone else, or yourself. Stop fretting over this as it will become a bigger issue to you than it already is. And it just ain't worth it, ya know?
posted by qwip at 7:39 PM on May 12, 2007

Scrap the prayer idea, as it is missing the point (sorry tim, but the only way to make someone even more freaked out about repressed urges is to repress them more).

I'm pretty sure he was being sarcastic.
posted by Mikey-San at 9:47 PM on May 12, 2007

I just -accidentally- found out that a prescribed drug, hydrocodone, did it for me, much to my displeasure. the urge was just gone for days and trying proved frustrating. a lot of people have this with illegal drugs such as cocaine - some can go through frozen ground, others not at all.

I don't think you should go either route. this is a matter of discipline, much like getting up on time. I did however think that you were entitled to an honest answer to your question.
posted by krautland at 10:44 PM on May 12, 2007

Anti-anxiolytic. And valerian is an inert placebo.
posted by spitbull at 11:02 PM on May 12, 2007

Scrap the prayer idea, as it is missing the point (sorry tim, but the only way to make someone even more freaked out about repressed urges is to repress them more).

Sorry, I was being flippant. I figgered that no-one would have taken my comment seriously. But you know, once upon a time, the hive mind response would have been, in all seriousness, to pray to be delivered from sinful urges. We've come a long way in the last hundred years.
posted by tim_in_oz at 11:26 PM on May 12, 2007

Sorry, I was being flippant.

Gah. I should tweak my sarcasm meter.
posted by qwip at 1:23 AM on May 13, 2007

I just -accidentally- found out that a prescribed drug, hydrocodone, did it for me, much to my displeasure.

Hydrocodone is the generic for Vicodin. A fix of highly addictive turbo painkillers is probably not the ideal solution to this problem, especially since diminished sex drive is not one of the common side effects.
posted by jewishbuddha at 1:30 AM on May 13, 2007

Besides heroin or slamming your dick in a car door, the best solution is time, occupied time. Collect model trains? Baseball cards? So long as your hobby isn't women's lingerie, you should be fine.
posted by klangklangston at 10:30 AM on May 13, 2007

"there's escorts, or even casual sex."

Expensive, and the latter is frustrating. Seeking out the casual sex is quite likely to just make things worse!

I'm in a similar boat. I nth the "masturbate furiously" vote.
posted by drstein at 9:37 PM on May 13, 2007

Eat soy. LOTS of soy. The natural estrogen will diminish your sex drive over time.

Check out this nutrition site for more info
posted by Mmothra at 12:01 PM on May 14, 2007

Sure, there is chemical castration. This obviously sounds drastic, but if the situation calls for it, it calls for it. It's better than having it court ordered.
posted by battlecj at 12:54 PM on May 15, 2007

Expensive, and the latter is frustrating. Seeking out the casual sex is quite likely to just make things worse!

agreed on escorts but casual sex is great when you do it right. the solution in this situation would be to have three or four individuals to have casual sex with - indep. of each other, without knowledge. that way, someone should always be reachable without anyone being pestered enough to walk away (aka. worrying you might get attached).

I will have to say though that it's a lot of work and probably only temporarily gratifying.
posted by krautland at 10:50 AM on May 16, 2007