What birthing methods should we choose?!?

May 1, 2007 11:48 AM

My husband and I are expecting our first baby in August and since the reality has kicked in...it's time to start thinking about birthing methods.

Since we are new to all of this, we've been talking with a few friends about birthing methods and classes, but more thoughts would be great!

So far, the answers range from "DEFINITELY do the ($300, 12-week) Bradley class!!!" to "Don't even bother (taking any classes), they were a waste of time."

I work days and my husband works nights, so finding time for classes may be difficult, but do-able. What did you do? What method did you go for? Could we learn what we need to know from books (book titles would be helpful!)? When push came to shove (literally!), did what you learn in classses or books help you?

For some background info, I'd like to TRY without an epidural, but if it becomes too painful I am in no way opposed to having one (please no debate on the pros and cons of meds!). I like the idea of Bradley's focusing within vs hypnobirth's external visualization. I'm not interested at all in water-birth, homebirthing, etc. We'll be in a birthing room at the near hospital.

Any help will be greatly appreciated! (and sorry if this has been posted somewhere before. I checked and had the husband check too!!)

posted by lil' ears to health & fitness (32 comments total)

We did the one- or two-day course offered by our local hospital, and it was helpful, and enough.
posted by cahlers at 11:59 AM on May 1, 2007

I would say if you were totally 100% committed to a drug-free birth, paying for a Bradley class might be worth it. I had your EXACT attitude about childbirth and thought the hospital classes weren't really worth the $75.
posted by peep at 12:07 PM on May 1, 2007

Hospital class plus plenty of books did the job for us.
posted by escabeche at 12:10 PM on May 1, 2007

I didn't do any classes and managed without an epidural. I was working with a midwife, though, who was with me in the hospital birthing room basically the whole time (she took a break and saw other clients during the boring part in the afternoon). If you're not working with a midwife, you might want to look into hiring a doula, so you're guaranteed to have someone there all the time who knows how things work (as opposed to the nurses who come in and out but may not be around all the time).
posted by leahwrenn at 12:11 PM on May 1, 2007

Your husband could probably use a birthing class even if you're pretty set to go.

I was glad to be warned about certain things that would have caught me off guard or grossed me out completely if I had not been prepared for them, and I'm a pretty modern/educated guy.

The nice thing about iot for us was that the class was one time each week where all we did was think about and plan out the birth. Two hours every Sunday where there ws no tv, internet or work to distract us from thinking together about the big day.

Midwives and doulas are great, to. Definitely consider using them.
posted by mds35 at 12:16 PM on May 1, 2007

We took our hospital's classes, which were great. Our hospital was very supportive of drug-free birthing, breastfeeding, attachment parenting, use of shower during labour and the like. YMMV. I did end up having an epidural, but only after I had been in labour for more than 30 hours. At that point, most hospitals would absolutely go for a c-section, but my hospital tries to avoid them whenever possible. I ended up delivering a very large baby after 56 hours. Please note that most people don't have such a challenging labour and that I would have been supported in doing the whole thing without drugs. It was just that 30 hours got to be a bit much for me.

When I do it again, I'll have a doula, though. My doctor has a midwife approach but a doula would give my husband a break and provide a seamless contact throughout. Of course, I am hoping for a shorter labour this time!
posted by acoutu at 12:19 PM on May 1, 2007

We attended a six-night class offered by my OB's medical group. It was good, though probably too long by half.

One of the more valuable parts was learning about (and practicing) alternative positions for laboring (i.e. not on your back) that can help prevent complications, as well as discussing pros and cons of various interventions the hospital may want to perform. If you don't have a doula, you'll need to be able to stick up for yourself to get the kind of birth you want, and the information from a class can help you do that. Learning more about what to expect made it less scary to me, though birthing your first child is always going to be a walk into the unknown!

The best part was making connections with the other parents-to-be in our class. We had an email list and got together a bunch of times after our babies were born to socialize and compare notes. Since none of our other friends had kids, and family was far away, it was really nice to have a built-in support network of other new moms who knew exactly what I was going through (the new dads were great, too, though not so much with the post-birth-support-stuff).

If you're planning to breastfeed, you may want to see if you can get some pre-birth instruction on that as well--it's harder than it looks and time is of the essence once the baby arrives.
posted by libraryhead at 12:27 PM on May 1, 2007

We did a Bradley class in the hospital where I later had the kid. The class was okay, but I swear it was taught by Estelle Costanza.
posted by The corpse in the library at 12:36 PM on May 1, 2007

I recommend yoga. The hospital nurse said I looked like one of those hypnobirthers, when in actual fact I had taken many yoga classes in the past and I applied the yoga breathing to labour. Worked well for me. I was induced on pitocin drip and I didn't get any drugs until I was sitting in the OR getting prepped for the section. YMMV.

I second that your husband will need the childbirth class. The hospital crash course is fine for this. When my husband nearly passed out looking at the various birth instruments, I decided to hire a doula. Watching his reaction was worth the price of admission. I didn't learn much as I was fairly well-read at the time. (In the end the doula's services were not really necessary, but I felt more comfortable before birth having hired her.)
posted by crazycanuck at 12:43 PM on May 1, 2007

Thanks so far for these stories! I'm very appreciative! Please keep them coming!

And to the corpse in the library ... I'd have loved Estelle! Far better than getting George to tell you when to push! :-)
posted by lil' ears at 12:44 PM on May 1, 2007

Our local hospital provided classes. They were evening classes and most of the parents-to-be came as couples, but there were a few moms who showed up solo.

The most useful part for us was meeting the other parents, I think. We are still in contact with several of them, four years later. Most of the information we already knew, but the instructor was very good at answering questions that weren't part of the curriculum and she was never stumped.

From my point of view, I found it fascinating to see a room full of women who were all at the same stage of pregnancy as my spouse, but who were all carrying it in very different ways. It really was a nice "they're all similar, but not all the same" moment.
posted by plinth at 1:04 PM on May 1, 2007

I signed up for a class, but because of our differing schedule, we only went to one. Honestly, I didn't really miss it. The nurses at the hospital know what they're doing, and they guided me through things fine. However, I was perfectly happy to get an epidural, because I had to be induced, because I had high blood pressure, etc. Just make sure you take the hospital tour at least.

I'd also recommend the chat rooms and posting boards at Babycenter.com Lot's of women there will share their stories of birth. The more you read, the less surprised you'll be by the events at the birth. And my favorite book recommendation is "The Unofficial Guide to Having a Baby".

However, I'll agree with the above posters that if you are more committed to the idea of a drug-free birth, then a doula would be a wonderful option.
posted by saffry at 1:09 PM on May 1, 2007

Taking classes is worthwhile.

I will say that if you are at all open to having an epidural chances are you will wind up with one, so it's good to get real educated on that option.
posted by konolia at 1:16 PM on May 1, 2007 [1 favorite has favorites]

My wife and I took the class offered at our hospital. It was reasonably informative and helpful. Our opinion (and that of some of our friends who've gone through a baby or two now) is that the real value in these classes, books, and whatnot is to be informative on the mechanics of how the whole process goes, the tools that will or might be used, etc, etc. It mainly keeps you from freaking out due to lack of knowledge when the real deal comes.

We tried all the little breathing exercises and whatnot when little Toad #1 came. MrsToad noted no real help aside from allowing her to focus on something aside from the pain. We did NONE of it for little Toad #2 with no noticeable differences.

We'd say to take the class, read a bit, and try to relax. Also make sure you are comfortable with your doctor and the nurses who will be helping you.

It's about the craziest and most intense experience you'll ever go through in your life.
posted by MrToad at 1:17 PM on May 1, 2007

Take whatever class is offered by the hospital where you are planning to deliver. Benefits: you get a tour of the maternity ward *before* it becomes critical to know your way there; you learn the way they do things at that hospital; you meet one of the OB nurses (the OB nurse is your friend, she will likely spend more time with you than the doc); you and the doc and the OB nurse will all be on the same page of the same playbook when the time comes.
posted by ilsa at 1:34 PM on May 1, 2007

I'm totally with you on this! Also expecting in August and our schedules are making all of my choices outside of our hospital course impossible. I'm currently trying to sign up for hypnobirthing (which focuses on relaxation and ritual for dealing with labor).

What I am enjoying is this book: Pregnancy, Childbirth and the Newborn: The Complete Guide by Penny Simkin, P.T., Janet Whalley, R.N., & Ann Keppler, R.N., M.N. for Great Starts (formerly the Childbirth Education Association of Seattle).

It's great because chapter 8 lists and explains breathing methods, positions and exercises used by almost all of the different courses out there but lists them in a nonjudgemental, choose what works for you way. It also includes great information on pain medication and how to plan in advance regarding when you hit those labor thresholds where you'll want to make that decision.

I found that while researching natural childbirth classes many of the materials are not supportive of other natural childbirth methods (Bradley and Birthing from Within being the most seemingly vitriolic towards other schools of natural childbirth thought) and this really made it hard for me to take them seriously.

Good luck with whatever you choose and may you have a safe and healthy labor.
posted by rosebengal at 1:35 PM on May 1, 2007

Bradley -- definitely.

I did it, and it taught me how to work with my body, how to make birthing something I'm doing, not something that is happening to me. Yeah, yeah, you're thinking -- hippy BS. But no -- it's real and necessary in counteracting all the fear and interventionism our culture puts on birth, stuff you probably don't even know you've imbibed.

Also they teach your partner how to read you, how to understand what you need, to make this something in which you are both fully participating. I had my first child at a midwife-only natural birth center, and it was magical.

My second child was born in a bathroom, when I quite unexpectedly gave birth at home. My husband wasn't there yet that time, but the techniques I had learned allowed me to do this birth thing all by myself. Hey, piece of cake. Oh look, a baby! The paramedics arrived to cut the cord. I was lucky nothing went wrong, obviously, but it does go to show -- for a routine birth with no complications, you don't need any medical intervention whatsoever.

You were born knowing how to do this. Bradley teaches your partner -- and helps you remember.
posted by Methylviolet at 1:50 PM on May 1, 2007

We did Hypnobirthing. My wife really liked one or two of the visualization techniques used for pain relief but she HATED the idea of the "hypnotic patter" (it made her very stressed) and we never did any of that. She did use the internally generated pain management techniques and they seemed to work well. The class itself was 10% useful and 90% instructor talking to hear herself talk, mostly about things that only tangentially related to the birth itself (circumcision==bad, which hospitals are good, etc).

Other useful things: Yoga / general fitness were very important - giving birth left her the most physically drained I had ever seen. One other interesting thing we ended up doing sometimes was head pressure - on a recommendation from a friend who had a baby a few months prior I would basically squeeze her head hard with two hands during some of the tougher contractions. For some reason it seemed to help with the pain.
posted by true at 2:11 PM on May 1, 2007

I did hippy B. S.--I actually did hypnobirthing (OK, everybody roll eyes and get over it!). I used it through two med-free births. Neither of them was pain-free, but the first birth was as most uncomfortable, and the techniques my partner and I learned definitely helped manage them. The second birth was back labor (baby facing up instead of down, crown of head driving into rectum and base of spine instead of tidily into cervical opening on every contraction) and it was hellish but, again, the techniques I learned in birth hypnosis were vital for managing--well, enduring--the pain without going insane, or panicking when it got non-stop relentless during transition.

I'm not anti-epidural, by the way--I am happy not to have had epidurals because it did seem to me that my recovery was quicker and more comfortable that way, so I encourage women to seriously consider it. And, as a PP said, if you really want to try it, preparing yourself somehow--Bradley or birth hypnosis or whatever--is vital. Also preparing yourself to say, "No." When we went into L&D, we simply told the nurse that we didn't want to be offered an epidural but would ask for one if it seemed like I needed it.

I found the hospital class not very useful to anyone who's taken the time to read one basic book on labor and delivery, and too focused on what can go wrong and on interventions.
posted by not that girl at 2:14 PM on May 1, 2007

birthing from within is a good book.

also, write a birth plan! if you don't hear about this from an instructor or a book, look up some examples on the internet and then make your own. it's a good way of familiarizing yourself with common options that you may need to choose between and trying to imagine how you would like your birth experience to go, and also gives you something to talk about with your doctor or midwife to make sure you're on the same page ahead of time.
posted by lgyre at 2:18 PM on May 1, 2007

I was fortunate to have access to a warm tub, low lights, music of my choice, and candles with my last two children. The peace was amazing. I took a class with my first child, and the experience was particularly upsetting and nothing helped until I received an epidural.

Let the contractions roll through you, do their job of expanding the birth canal, and breathe with concentration and control, and always remember, the contraction will end- there will be peace and that ought to be enjoyed. Do not "prepare" yourself for the next one. When the next one does come, let it roll through you. Repeat.

Allow yourself to moan through the pain. When we are our closest to nature, our sounds can be amazing.

Happy birth.
posted by psylosyren at 2:41 PM on May 1, 2007

If you like a specific hospital, try a birthing class at the hospital you want to go to. At the hospital I worked at, I took a class taught by one of the OB nurses for my rotation on the floor (part of my school work, IANAM-I am not a mother). I learned lots of little tid-bits specific to that hospital and I was given a tour of the floor. They even taught breathing and pushing strategies (I believe it fell under "lamaze").
Later on, I was placed in a room with a laboring mother (for her entire 8 hours of active labor and birth). The OB nurse just monitored the fetal heart rate and contractions from the station, and occasionally (every two hours) would check the patient's dilation. It was up to me, a person who had never seen a birth, and had only a basic book-based knowledge of the process, to guide this lady through her labor. Damn, I was glad I took that class.
It was only a one night class for three hours, and it was totally worth it.
Also, get yourself a doula (or a midwife). They're awesome, and very very very worth it.
posted by nursegracer at 2:56 PM on May 1, 2007

I don't really have any specific birthing method advice, but I do want to share a few insights I have about the delivery process from working as a labor & delivery nurse.

Firstly, if your pregnancy is low-risk, I really encourage you to have a midwife rather than a doctor. Midwives are fantastic, very skilled, and study after study has shown that midwife-attended low-risk births have outcomes that are just as good as low-risk births attended by doctors. If you want support through an unmedicated labor and the freedom to move around, take showers, etc., a midwife sounds like your best option.

Secondly, please keep in mind that your condition and the condition of your baby can change very, very quickly during labor. The most important thing, I think, is to have an open mind about what happens during your delivery. I believe very strongly that your choices about your delivery should be honored and supported, and I think it's fantastic that you're giving thought to them now, but sometimes your health and the health of your baby precludes the choices you've made in advance. I've seen many women become very attached to their birth plans, and when unexpected things happened that didn't fit into that plan, they felt as though their whole delivery experience was ruined. I've seen women who need an emergency c-section stubbornly refuse the operation until the condition of their baby was very dire because a c-section wasn't part of their plan for how their delivery would go. They fought with the doctors and nurses the whole time and the experience was awful for everyone involved.

Under no circumstances do I think you should read up on every possible complication of childbirth and be prepared for all of them--the vast majority of low-risk pregnancies and deliveries are free of complications and reading about rare complications will do nothing but scare you for no reason. But do keep in mind that there are some parts of the delivery that are out of your control (most notably, the condition of your baby), and trusting your midwife/doctor to know when to change course and move to a higher level of intervention is one of the best ways to ensure a good birth experience.

Finally, I recommend that you go into the experience telling yourself that it's OK to change your mind about any and all plans you have for the delivery. If you choose to have an unmedicated labor but change your mind during the process and decide to have an epidural, don't beat yourself up for "giving in" or "not being strong enough" to deal with the pain (I see women do this to themselves all the time). If you choose a midwife because you want to be unmedicated, be able to move around, take showers, etc., but during the delivery you find that all you want to do is stay in bed and rest between contractions, don't make yourself feel bad for that either. Listen to your body, trust your own decisions, and allow yourself the freedom to change course.
posted by jesourie at 3:43 PM on May 1, 2007

One of the advantages of a class is the other members acting as a support group afterwards. Do get the contact details of like-minded people at the classes or at the hospital -- no-one else can answer some questions as well as the mother of another baby the same age.
posted by Idcoytco at 3:48 PM on May 1, 2007

I strongly recommend Ina May Gaskin's work. Spiritual Midwifery may be too out there for you, but the more-recent Ina May's Guide to Childbirth is reassuring and informative, geared mostly toward women who are looking for a low-intervention natural birth, but she has a lot of information that's useful for any couple approaching childbirth.

I imagine a lot of folks would reject her books out of hand, which is a shame-- they involve Science! And Data!
Plus, she's not alarmist, which I appreciate.
posted by thehmsbeagle at 4:15 PM on May 1, 2007

One of the best things about working with a midwife in a hospital setting was that she was there and supportive all during the process---and when the time came that things weren't going so smoothly, she was able to recognize that, and also stay there during the time the obstetrician on call needed to intervene (vacuum extraction, not C-section). And she would have been happy to organize the epidural, if I'd wanted it.

That part of it was definitely a positive experience. (The recovery stage, not so much. Not bad, but not great.)
posted by leahwrenn at 4:31 PM on May 1, 2007

I recommend a doula also, but don't get one who will argue with the doctor. When I was taking doula classes, my OBGYN told me there was one doula she had to ask to step out. The mother had been pushing for 3 hours with no progress, and the doula was complaining LOUDLY about the doc wanting to do a C-section. Interview the doula and be sure she knows her job is not to replace the nurses and doctor, and that she's not a midwife.

I hung out on some doula message boards and I know a lot of them are extremely pro-natural birth, no matter what the mother wants. They'll discourage you from taking medication and any interventions at every turn. A doula's job is also to stand up for the mother's desires, not her own. Again, interview her and be sure you will get along and she will agree with what *you* want.
posted by IndigoRain at 5:08 PM on May 1, 2007

Another great book, along the lines of Ina May but written from the perspective of a doctor: Born in the USA: How a Broken Maternity System Must Be Fixed to Put Women and Children First.
posted by mingshan at 6:12 PM on May 1, 2007

Ahh yes.. the birth thing.. totally focused on the birth event, but really it is just a 5-35 hour adventure, THEN it actually starts.

Good luck.

(I got to sleep 'til 8am once this year, that day rocked).
posted by lundman at 7:47 PM on May 1, 2007

2nd, 3rd, and 4thing Ina May Gaskin's Guide to childbirth. Books by Sheila Kitzinger are also good. I would also recommend Henci Goer's The thinking woman's guide to a better birth.

I wouldn't necessarily do a birth class, particularly if it were offered at the hospital. Hire a doula.
posted by kch at 10:33 PM on May 1, 2007

2nd, 3rd, and 4thing Ina May Gaskin's Guide to childbirth. Books by Sheila Kitzinger are also good. I would also recommend Henci Goer's The thinking woman's guide to a better birth.

I went to reply to this hours ago; computer crashed, but that's a good sum-up of what I'd been typing then. The Goer book is a must-read.

That, and I thought "Birthing from Within" was junk. That I might not be stupid, flaky, and terrified didn't seem to occur to the author. (Plus, it's too flaky. Why does this garbage only get thrown around childbirth? Nobody ever pretended menstrual cramps might be eased and even enjoyed by way of holding a rock and howling.)

I'm not a huge fan of "birthing methods." They're a bit too one-size-fits-all in their philosophy, and expectations of your expectations. Cherry-picking from them looks useful, though.

As for classes -- meh. We -- our first is due in August, too (so, realise I've got no more experience here than you...) -- did not find a birthing class we had any use for. That may be a local problem, but. Warnings about the hospital ones included, notably, that they often taught how to be a good little patient who doesn't question the hospital's purported authority. Some other local ones looked to be and were reputed to be for the hard-luck teen-agers, with "1) The importance of showing up for pre-natal appointments 2) How to not poison or drop your baby" as curriculum.

So, yeah, you can get it from books. I can't believe only one person recommended The Thinking Woman's Guide. Almost one-stop shopping for what it is. She has some interesting articles on-line, too.

See also Grantly Dick-Read.

I'm planning a home birth, likely in water, so I'll shut up here. No, wait. Mr Kmennie recommends Babies and Other Hazards of Sex. That despite having some post-secondary biology education and, in some ways, a better idea of what's going on and what to expect than I do. I would strongly recommend getting your husband to at least skim everything you're reading; the preparation for him is nice, but the perspective is truly invaluable.
posted by kmennie at 1:37 AM on May 2, 2007

Wev did a class based on the above-hated Birthing From Within for our latest baby-my second, husband's first. While parts of the book are really woowoo and out there, parts of it really worked for us. My two favorite bits are her statement that "Labor is Hard. It Hurts a Lot. You can do it"-unlike books that talk about "cramping" and "pressure" and "discomfort". She also discourages you from getting too invested in a birth plan, as part of this process is recognizing we're not in control. WHile she supports unmedicated and home births, her first child was a c-section, so there's no judgment about that.

I've had two midwife assisted, hospital, unmedicated births. They've been really hard and amazing and wonderful. I think the best thing about my births being unmedicated was that the babies and I were both great as soon as birth was over-I felt fabulous (though starving)-no med hangover to deal with. GOod luck to you.
posted by purenitrous at 7:34 PM on May 2, 2007