Help me find or create a word for false knowledge

April 24, 2007 7:40 AM

I'm looking a word for a behavior, and, failing that, I am looking for help in inventing that word.

I am looking for a word to describe ersatz education. That is, the sort of thing people spend a lot of time studying, but isn't really knowledge, because it isn't verifiable and, in most cases, is actually disprovable. I'm talking about things like horoscopes, 9/11 theorists, creation science. Mind you, I'm not talking about the study of these things from a cultural or historical viewpoint, or for entertainment or novelty. I'm talking about the earnest mistaking of these sorts of things for legitimate knowledge, and the pompous sense that having memorized nonsense makes you somehow more educated.

Now, if you happen to think my examples are actual knowledge, and are angry at me for accusing you of having taught yourself nonsense, well, just imagine I picked another example that you know to be nonsense, even though, say horoscopes are, in your mind, a science. Let's say you think lay lines, or cryptozoology, or phrenology is bullshit. Just imagine I used that example, and let's not discuss whether my original examples are nonsense or not.

So what I am looking for is a word to describe this false knowledge (something broader, and funnier, than pseudoscience). And I guess I'm looking for a related word to describe people who take pride in their mastery of nonsense knowledge. The word, should we invent it, should be appropriately snide and mocking.

Hive mind, do your thing.

posted by Astro Zombie to writing & language (51 comments total)

Trivia?
posted by Uther Bentrazor at 7:44 AM on April 24, 2007

Hobbyhorse. There's a book about it.
posted by OmieWise at 7:46 AM on April 24, 2007

Good question, by the way.
posted by OmieWise at 7:46 AM on April 24, 2007

(something broader, and funnier, than pseudoscience)

Well, dammit, that is the word. A field that is of objectively little-to-no scientific merit but which gets studied and treated in a faux-scientific manner? That's pseudoscience, baby.

Important point of clarification: is this word you're hunting for describing the pursuit of, and the people who pursue, nonsense that they know to be nonsense in the course of their studies? Or are we talking about the earnest unknowing study of nonsense?
posted by cortex at 7:47 AM on April 24, 2007

I like what Penn and Teller call it: Bullshit.
posted by AstroGuy at 7:48 AM on April 24, 2007 [1 favorite]

Inveigle - Inculcate - Indoctrinate - Persuade - Palaver - Brainwash - Wheedle - Proselytise
posted by chuckdarwin at 7:48 AM on April 24, 2007

prefix, suffix and apply as needed:
fauxknown, fauxknow-it-all
phenomenot, phenomenut
nexpertise, nexpert
posted by thinkpiece at 7:51 AM on April 24, 2007

So what I am looking for is a word to describe this false knowledge

Malgnorance?

I'm looking for a related word to describe people who take pride in their mastery of nonsense knowledge

Malgnodact?
posted by Gyan at 7:52 AM on April 24, 2007 [1 favorite]

There's True-believer syndrome.
posted by cerebus19 at 7:52 AM on April 24, 2007

"imagineering" It's about time that word got some negative denotations.

But really, I'm pretty sure that such a word exists. Every time I read your first paragraph it's on the tip of my tongue.
posted by DU at 7:55 AM on April 24, 2007

fauxemology? (fake epistemology...)
khaosism? (Greek for gassiness, kinda...)
malafauxamology? (with apologies to G.B. shaw...)
usagimimiusotsukism? (Japanese mash-up for liar-gossip)
Kramdenist? (Not Gleasonist!)
grassyknollism? (see OliverStonology...)

This is hard.
posted by Dizzy at 7:55 AM on April 24, 2007

Can I propose 'binformation'? Information that belongs in the bin.
posted by edd at 7:56 AM on April 24, 2007 [1 favorite]

Scientologist?
posted by cerebus19 at 7:57 AM on April 24, 2007

Pilpul.

From da 'pedia:

In fact, some students of the Talmud around this time began employing this pseudo-pilpul, apparently often motivated by the prospect of impressing others with the sophistication of their analysis. These students typically did not apply appropriate standards of proof in obtaining their conclusions (if any), and frequently presupposed conclusions that necessitated unlikely readings of "proof-texts". As such, pilpul has sometimes been derogatorily called bilbul, Hebrew for "confusion". Many authorities spoke out in support of similar methods of actual pilpul as being reliable and even central to Talmud study whenever traditional standards of proof were applied rigorously.

Pilpul has escaped into English as a colloquialism used by some to indicate extreme disputation or casuistic hairsplitting.

I learned it's use as "pointless scholarly endeavorous, mixing fantasy with reality, like analyzing the Bible to determine how many angels can dance on the head of a pin."
posted by unixrat at 8:04 AM on April 24, 2007 [1 favorite]

Oh, the irony - misspelling 'endeavors' while talking about scholars.
posted by unixrat at 8:07 AM on April 24, 2007

Voluntary delusion.
posted by grateful at 8:09 AM on April 24, 2007

Malautodidactic
posted by LionIndex at 8:12 AM on April 24, 2007 [1 favorite]

Rather like LionIndex's word, I was going to suggest diddledidacticism. Just because of all the lovely alliteration.
posted by edd at 8:17 AM on April 24, 2007 [1 favorite]

Balderdash, poppycock, twaddle?
posted by trip and a half at 8:20 AM on April 24, 2007

conspiriologist?

deluisonlogist?

wackologist?

confusarian?

improbobologist?
posted by ewkpates at 8:25 AM on April 24, 2007 [1 favorite]

For a new coinage, how about malgnosis - mal, bad, + gnosis, knowledge. The person, then, would be a malgnostic.

Although, in one sense perhaps less than ideal, because Google searches on these turn up a handful of results where people have tried to coin these words with different meanings than what I'm proposing here. Not many, though.
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 8:27 AM on April 24, 2007

I agree with cortex: what you are describing is pseudoscience, perhaps minus the "funny" but definitely covering the "snide".

This reminds me of a question I've had lurking in the back of my mind that I am hereby piggybacking on this one because it's remotely related.

Phenomena like the "frog in boiling water" or "hundredth monkey" are known to be false, but make for useful metaphors. Is there a word (or can we invent one) for concepts/phrases like this, where the original meaning is known to be false, but it becomes useful as a metaphor?
posted by adamrice at 8:30 AM on April 24, 2007

Feynman uses 'fuzdazzle' for something like this, IIRC in the second book of his memoirs.
posted by jet_silver at 8:32 AM on April 24, 2007

Religion?
posted by dgaicun at 8:33 AM on April 24, 2007

Its the study of pseudoscience. That's the word most people will react to. Its well known, very broad, but not very funny.

Pronunciation: "sü-dO-'sI-&n(t)s
Function: noun
: a system of theories, assumptions, and methods erroneously regarded as scientific

I think the phrase "he has a phd in pseudosceince" is funny. Or a phd in bullshit. Or a field founded by PseudoNewton.

One blogger calls it psychoceramics, which is very clever.
posted by damn dirty ape at 8:38 AM on April 24, 2007

forgot to add a token neologism.

Skata-xero. Greek for 'someone who knows jack shit.' Its shit + know.

Vlaka-magos. Greek for wise idiot. Magos is biblical (and may be a mistranslation) which is in reference to the three wise men, who were really astrologers. So its very fitting.

Although, skata-magos has a nice ring to it.
posted by damn dirty ape at 8:44 AM on April 24, 2007

I don't agree that pseudoscience fits - while many of AstroZombie's examples are pseudoscience, I don't think conspiracy theories (9/11, JFK) are commonly regarded as pseudoscience. Pseudohistory, perhaps.
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 8:44 AM on April 24, 2007

Like cortex said, pseudoscience is the word. And for those things it doesn't cover (per DevilsAdvocate), psychoceramics is excellent.
posted by languagehat at 8:51 AM on April 24, 2007

Rejectspertise?

Squalorship?

Lience?

Errorudition?

Schmowledge?
posted by dgaicun at 8:54 AM on April 24, 2007 [1 favorite]

If you are after a snide, mocking AND widely understood term that covers a very wide spectrum, there is always voodoo science and/or pathological science . Failing that, go with Astroguy and Penn and Teller and call it bull shit.

If the occasion calls for a less loaded term, you could go with parascience, with the exception of the occasions whenparapsychology fits the bill.

If you go with a coined term and drop it into conversation as if it were an understood term, you'll just sound like a wacky eccentric mocking the wacky and eccentric.
posted by necessitas at 8:57 AM on April 24, 2007

Pseudology/pseudologist
posted by jamaro at 8:58 AM on April 24, 2007

If you really insist on being condescending, "pretend science" seems to me to be ruder than psuedoscience. See also "pretend medicine", "pretend history", etc.
posted by teleskiving at 9:01 AM on April 24, 2007

playing off dgaicun - errudite/errudition/errudity?

Also, a "false mountebanc" is a logically tortured term for the individual who earnestly studies false knowledge and is a show-off about it.
posted by taliaferro at 9:06 AM on April 24, 2007

Bizarrcana?

Messoterica?
posted by dgaicun at 9:11 AM on April 24, 2007 [2 favorites]

Crackpottery?
posted by Otis at 9:19 AM on April 24, 2007

"the sort of thing people spend a lot of time studying, but isn't really knowledge, because it isn't verifiable" = faith, religion

"ersatz education" = indoctrination, culture

"earnest mistaking of these sorts of things for legitimate knowledge" = ignorance

"pompous sense that having memorized nonsense makes you somehow more educated" = assholery
posted by DarkForest at 9:19 AM on April 24, 2007

Triviology?
Incognition?
Disinformatics?

I wonder how many of the new words in this thread stand a chance at becoming University courses in the next decade. I can almost imagine a disinformatics 101 class...
posted by davehat at 9:39 AM on April 24, 2007

It should be noted that although in English "pseudoscience" may not be an exact fit, etymologically it is precisely what you're looking for:
pseudo - Greek (Ancient) ψευδής (pseudēs), false, lying
science - From Old French science, from Latin scientia ‘knowledge’, from the present participle stem of scire ‘know’.

hence, "false knowledge."
posted by juv3nal at 10:03 AM on April 24, 2007

I like cacodoxy, literally a doctrine or epistomology of shit, used to mean heresy or heterodoxy.

Unfortunately, cacology already has the meaning "a poor choice or words"---that would ahve been my first choice.
posted by bonehead at 10:13 AM on April 24, 2007

I would call it pseudoscience. But sophistry is a related phenomenon - using rhetorical tricks to fool people into believing your argument, even when your argument is not valid. The sophists were the people Socrates fought against in ancient Athens, who pretended to be wise teachers, but who really were ignorant and arrogant.
posted by LobsterMitten at 10:24 AM on April 24, 2007

Zwingery ("zzwin-jer-ree"), after the type of person that would show the non-verifiability or disprove the claim.

You could call the people who take pride in their mastery, Browne-ies.
posted by cashman at 10:56 AM on April 24, 2007

Surprised that "quacks" and "quackery" hasn't been mentioned. So thought I'd mention it. :-)
posted by -harlequin- at 11:05 AM on April 24, 2007

For a new coinage, how about malgnosis - mal, bad, + gnosis, knowledge. The person, then, would be a malgnostic.

Mixing the greek and latin roots there, not so good. You'ld be looking for kakognosis.

Alternatively, how about pseudognosis?
posted by IndigoJones at 11:10 AM on April 24, 2007 [1 favorite]

One blogger calls it psychoceramics, which is very clever.

I'm told this is in common usage at Brown - maybe it originated there?
posted by spaceman_spiff at 11:17 AM on April 24, 2007

Dyseducation?
posted by jtron at 11:41 AM on April 24, 2007

"The Atlantic Monthly" print magazine has a column in the rear of every issue that tries to answer questions about usage or invent words, just as we're doing here. I think it's worth a try to mail your question to the "Word Fugitives" column.

Word Fugitives, The Atlantic Monthly, P.O. Box 67375, Chestnut Hill, MA 02467, or visit the Word Fugitives page on our Web site, at www.theatlantic.com/fugitives. Letters become the property of Word Fugitives and may be edited.
posted by cmiller at 12:07 PM on April 24, 2007

infauxmation
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 1:27 PM on April 24, 2007

Disinformatics?

Well, disinformation is already an established word, but it generally implies that the person who initially spread the false information was aware that it was false, so it doesn't quite fit, and I would think that disinformatics would just be the study of disinformation.

Mixing the greek and latin roots there, not so good. You'ld be looking for kakognosis.

Ooh, I like that better than my malgnosis. Not because I object to mixing roots from different languages (c'mon, this is English we're talking about here), but just because it sounds better. Although I think when this particular root is brought into English the k's more commonly become c's (e.g., cacophony, or bonehead's cacodoxy above), so maybe it should be cacognosis/cacognostic?
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 1:36 PM on April 24, 2007

Josiah S. Carberry, Professor of Psychoceramics
posted by staggernation at 1:41 PM on April 24, 2007

Crapology :-)

"Newage" (rhyming with sewage), a usage approved by Robert Anton Wilson

posted by lukemeister at 8:49 PM on April 24, 2007

Does no one here watch the Colbert Report? He's done you task for you.

You're looking for a word for "that which has truthiness".
posted by Mr. Gunn at 7:29 AM on April 25, 2007