Why would a guy stop wanting to have sex with a girl he's been casually dating?
April 16, 2007 5:52 AM Subscribe
Why would a guy stop wanting to have sex with a girl he's been casually dating? A little long...sorry.....
posted by fosho7707 to Human Relations (57 answers total) 7 users marked this as a favorite
I have been casually dating this guy for a couple of months and things were great. Both of us went into it not wanting a serious relationship. When we first started dating I knew he was seeing others and I was totally fine with that. Initially I was not dating others because I barely had the time for one person, let alone anyone else.
About 3 weeks ago, things in my life became less busy and I had more time for dating so I started dating others as well. I told him I was dating others because I felt it was important to be honest about everything (he had been doing the same in return). He said he was cool with that and acted like it was no big deal, just made some comment like "I hope they aren't as charming as me" and admitted to being a little envious but he figured I would be dating others because I'm a "sexy, smart hottie" (lol)....
Well, a couple of days ago he out of the blue tells me he doesn't want to have sex with me; he just wants "to be friends". It seems like things got a little weird about a week or so ago after he wanted to make plans with me for the following weekend and I couldn't because I had a date for both Friday and Saturday..... I think that bothered him.
I'm a little confused as to why he doesn't want to be sexually involved with me....we were just casually dating. He was seeing 2 other girls on a semi-regular basis when he met me and I am 100% certain he is not getting serious with either one of them, nor is he seeing anyone else. When we were initially dating he made it a point of telling me how flexible his schedule was but now he supposedly doesn't have time for me in addition to the other two.
I have not chased or pursued him; I have not initiated any phone calls (only returned his calls), have not made any sort of comments in regards to wanting a relationship, where is this going, etc. so I don't think he thinks I want to get serious. I was perfectly happy with the way things were.
After talking this over with another guy friend of mine, he said the first thing that came to mind is that the guy could be developing feelings for me and because I'm dating others, he doesn't want to get hurt.....or at least the thought of me with other guys bothers him that much. Does this seem feasible?
The sex has been inicredible (his words were "I just can't get enough of you"), the non-sex chemistry amazing....we just clicked on pretty much every level. I've wracked my brain and cannot come up with a logical explanation (which is why I'm here). And for the record, I have not been sleeping with anyone else I'm dating, just him (although I'm not sure if he knows that...).
Why am I so bothered if we were just "casually" dating? Because, the truth is.... I really really dig him and could see myself wanting to be with him.... even exclusively down the road (which freaks me out a little because I have no plans to even live with someone, let alone think about something more serious).
Just wondering what others take on this is? Thanks in advance.....