Comments on: Girls are to flowers as Boys are to _______

Question: Girls are to flowers as Boys are to _______

damnjezebel — Wed, 21 Mar 2007 17:30:54 -0800

What is the male equivalent of receiving flowers at the office?

Girl receive flowers from her significant other at work. Coworkers oooh and aaaaah. Girl feels special. Girl goes home and pounces on significant other.

What would be something you'd send to a guy (or want sent to you) at work?

(Yeah, I'd send flowers to him, but I don't think flowers would really get the same reaction from him as they do from me.)

By: ericb

ericb — Wed, 21 Mar 2007 17:33:57 -0800

A bottle of single-malt scotch.

By: TedW

TedW — Wed, 21 Mar 2007 17:34:01 -0800

Pizza (with beer would be even better but not appropriate for most workplaces).

By: null terminated

null terminated — Wed, 21 Mar 2007 17:39:22 -0800

Seconding scotch or tickets to an awesome sporting event.

By: Methylviolet

Methylviolet — Wed, 21 Mar 2007 17:42:30 -0800

Naked picture of you. Duh.
You could send it by cellphone.

You'll get pounced, for sure.

By: The Giant Squid

The Giant Squid — Wed, 21 Mar 2007 17:42:51 -0800

Third the Scotch. Johnny Walker Black, or better (any of the Glen****'s. Whatever's roughly worth a dozen roses in your area.

By: unSane

unSane — Wed, 21 Mar 2007 17:43:08 -0800

Blow job.

By: CKmtl

CKmtl — Wed, 21 Mar 2007 17:43:14 -0800

Some sort of ultra-premium food/beverage that you know he likes. Jamaican Blue Mountain coffee, scotch, port.

Or yea, tickets.

By: The Giant Squid

The Giant Squid — Wed, 21 Mar 2007 17:43:34 -0800

Combining the above. Nekkid picture INSIDE the cardboard box the scotch comes in.

By: phrontist

phrontist — Wed, 21 Mar 2007 17:44:31 -0800

Office Massage?

By: hot soup girl

hot soup girl — Wed, 21 Mar 2007 17:45:09 -0800

When my now-husband / then-fiance were living in different countries, I sent him flowers at the office, twice. He was mercilessly ribbed by his jealous work colleagues (all women), but liked it a lot. He still has the cards that came with with my messages typed on them. So I think flowers always work, no matter what the gender.

But if not flowers, cookies. Cookies are great.

By: xetere

xetere — Wed, 21 Mar 2007 17:47:51 -0800

Scotch, definitely. Also perhaps Bourbon, since that seems to be the hot whiskey variety drink these days.

Also don't underestimate flowers, had a bunch delivered way back in the 80s, and yeah, I pounced on the lass. I think because it was so unexpected - a woman usually doesn't give a man flowers, nor does it mean the same thing - that it was a botanical turn-on. May not work for every man though.

By: peace_love_hope

peace_love_hope — Wed, 21 Mar 2007 17:49:11 -0800

I totally agree with Hot Soup Girl. But if you insist on something more permanent, consider a talking picture frame with a hot message from you -- and a photo that's seductive but suitable for office display.

By: JujuB

JujuB — Wed, 21 Mar 2007 17:49:41 -0800

Why not send flowers? They aren't just for the ladies. Put a VERY personal message on the gift card, this he doesn't share..

Just think, all these women swooning over his flowers, his appetite whetted, he comes home and pounces on you!

By: allkindsoftime

allkindsoftime — Wed, 21 Mar 2007 17:50:35 -0800

Booze, food, risque picture all great ideas, but more info about guy would help...

If he works on Wall Street, have a custom tailor arrange a time to come do a fitting for a nice dress shirt for him.

If he's a baseball fan buy him an MLB.tv subscription for the season to his favorite team (maybe send a print out of the confirmation with a hat from the team).

If he's a poker player send him a high quality (custom even) set of clay chips.

If he's a cigar guy...

etc.

Also, Thrillist is your friend (hint, check the Vault section).

By: allkindsoftime

allkindsoftime — Wed, 21 Mar 2007 17:52:40 -0800

...and God damn I wish I had a girl thinking this about me...just once...

By: GaelFC

GaelFC — Wed, 21 Mar 2007 18:13:03 -0800

Cookie Bouquet!

By: Ironmouth

Ironmouth — Wed, 21 Mar 2007 18:28:24 -0800

Flowers for sure. Everybody likes him. All the guys know exactly what it means--he's got a girl that likes him.

By: ASM

ASM — Wed, 21 Mar 2007 18:44:43 -0800

Strip-o-gram? Then again, that probably wouldn't fly in an office.

You could do something awesome for him during his lunch or break. Guaranteed he'll come back to work and brag. That's what we do, brag and exaggerate...and hide our emotions.

But you knew that.

By: purephase

purephase — Wed, 21 Mar 2007 18:53:25 -0800

I agree with allkindsoftime, done this a lot myself, never received though.

I think flowers would be fine, but a lot rides on what kind of guy he is. Flowers are almost universally fine for women (at least in my experience) so I'd have to agree with allkindsoftime (again!) that you might get better mileage using what you know he enjoys. Booze, food, sex teasers, video games, books etc. Pick a hobby (or vice) and give him a reason to do what he normally wouldn't in the middle of his workday.

By: blue_beetle

blue_beetle — Wed, 21 Mar 2007 19:13:12 -0800

I got chocolate dipped strawberries and grapes delivered to me at work last year by my (then) girlfriend. That went over really well.

By: backwards guitar

backwards guitar — Wed, 21 Mar 2007 19:18:56 -0800

Maybe a plant of some sort? Bonsai tree?

By: sindark

sindark — Wed, 21 Mar 2007 19:20:18 -0800

I had flowers sent to me once (I am a guy). While I appreciated the gesture, I found it confusing, as did most of those around me.

Most of the above suggestions would have been a lot better.

By: pompomtom

pompomtom — Wed, 21 Mar 2007 19:23:31 -0800

Beer.

By: 0xFCAF

0xFCAF — Wed, 21 Mar 2007 19:31:22 -0800

My friend got a "fruit boquet" of some sort - a bunch of fruit on skewers made up to look like a flower boquet. Guys like food and since you can't send steak, it might work. I have no idea if there was pouncing involved afterward.

By: paulsc

paulsc — Wed, 21 Mar 2007 19:36:34 -0800

I got a panty bouquet from a good woman, once. And dear heart that she was, she made good on the promise inscribed in the card, too.

By: rob511

rob511 — Wed, 21 Mar 2007 20:42:15 -0800

unSane's suggestion above is gift #2.

Gift #1: Arrange for installation of modesty panel on desk.

By: divabat

divabat — Wed, 21 Mar 2007 20:52:02 -0800

Candy worked well with my boyfriend. A big boxful of candy, even.

By: Brandon Blatcher

Brandon Blatcher — Wed, 21 Mar 2007 21:06:46 -0800

A nooner. Afterwards, buy'em a double cheeseburger.

I think you're working from a good, but mistaken assumption. Those co-workers that oooh and aaah? That's just the women, right? Guys don't ooh and aaah over flowers. We say that's nice or pretty, but we don't care much. Flowers are nice looking and all, but they just don't push our buttons. We give them because ya'll seem to go nuts over them and we get pounced from giving them.

All we want is you and a cheeseburger and to know that you pay attention to us. So either bring him lunch one day, something you know he likes, homemade or store homemade. When you bring it, look the hottest you can. Do something full up, place setting, silverware and napkin, best china from home, food steaming on the plate. Wear something short and low cut. Bend over a lot.

Or give him some gadget/device/toy you know he's been craving but hasn't gotten, something that shows you've been listening and paying attention to what interests him.

But yeah, a nooner usually works. Don't have time for a nooner? Just a blowjob will do, thanks!

By: bigmusic

bigmusic — Wed, 21 Mar 2007 21:56:57 -0800

How about sending him a box with some lingerie inside, and a picture of you in it. Tell him to meet you at so and so place for a "nooner."

By: nihlton

nihlton — Wed, 21 Mar 2007 22:49:41 -0800

im going to go out on a limb and say that dirty pictures of you is probably old hat for him :P

order two nice steaks and take them to him at work (find a place near his work so they're still hot when you get there) wear something stunning. Touch his thigh, eye fuck him, etc. then leave. Id be willing to bet you get fucked proper when he gets home.

By: divabat

divabat — Thu, 22 Mar 2007 03:27:54 -0800

Another: something that he really likes but can't get very often. Shows that you're thinking of him.

By: pracowity

pracowity — Thu, 22 Mar 2007 04:01:02 -0800

> Girls are to flowers as Boys are to _______

bees.

Have a hive delivered to his office.

By: mr_book

mr_book — Thu, 22 Mar 2007 05:45:25 -0800

Please don't send him flowers. Please, please don't.

By: fijiwriter

fijiwriter — Thu, 22 Mar 2007 06:46:13 -0800

Are we trying to impress him, or the office? There are times that a delivery of donuts and some fresh-brewed coffee at my office would go over like gangbusters, and a nice note from you to his coworkers. (Our office runs on sugar and caffeine, I'd be a hero!)

I second the comment about a gift that's connected to who he really is or does. My wife, for little happies, will leave me Gu packets and pick up a cycling magazine if I'm having a rough time at work, or if she just wants to make me feel special. Or a new DVD, too. Can't comment about any pouncing, or Mrs. Fijiwriter will smack me.

I might be old fashioned, but non-sexual gifts are just as nice in my eyes - it's her showing that she cares for me.

By: StickyCarpet

StickyCarpet — Thu, 22 Mar 2007 06:55:02 -0800

Maybe a plant of some sort? Bonsai tree?

If you are trying to impress the office, and it seems you are, the tree or a tray of food that everyone could share seem good.

I'd skip the booze at work, though.

By: Kellydamnit

Kellydamnit — Thu, 22 Mar 2007 07:03:54 -0800

There is one answer to this (well, among anyone I know...)

You know, there's a million fine-looking women in the world, dude. But they don't all bring you lasagna at work.

By: humblepigeon

humblepigeon — Thu, 22 Mar 2007 07:40:02 -0800

Brainstorming:

* A picture frame with a picture of you in it.
* A new coffee mug.
* A silk tie.
* An action figure.

Basically, something that he can wear/utilize, and that people will ask the origin of. Then they'll say, "Ahh... how sweet!" when they learn it's from you.

By: Pufferish

Pufferish — Thu, 22 Mar 2007 07:48:21 -0800

I have actually received the cookie bouquet that GaelFC mentioned at work. Nobody seemed to think it was -too- strange -- but it's worth noting that the women of my office ate all of them.

(yes, permission was obtained first)

By: desuetude

desuetude — Thu, 22 Mar 2007 07:58:33 -0800

What StickyCarpet said. And what unSane said.

By: Sprout the Vulgarian

Sprout the Vulgarian — Thu, 22 Mar 2007 09:31:44 -0800

I Nth having food delivered instead of flowers. Chocolate, cookies, fruit, whatever. He'll enjoy it, co-workers will enjoy it.

By: Brian Puccio

Brian Puccio — Thu, 22 Mar 2007 18:17:10 -0800

My girlfriend sent me cookies (two orders worth, actually) to my job on V-day because she knows I work in a heavily female environment and roll my eyes at the constant parade of flowers being delivered and the fuss everyone makes over them.

Actually, it was probably one of the nicest things anyone has ever done for me.

By: DrtyBlvd

DrtyBlvd — Fri, 23 Mar 2007 02:31:40 -0800

Something that isn't obvious.

Say, a key to a locker at the bus station or whatever - then leave something in there and so on as far as you'd like to go - treasure trail kind of thing?

My trail ended at a Victorias' secret where I had to pay for her purchases, which were already wrapped. How does one put it?

Oh yes, she got *pounced* :)