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	<title>Comments on: My friend's friend saw so-in-so at a Melissa Etheridge concert...</title>
	<link>http://ask.metafilter.com/57150/My-friends-friend-saw-soinso-at-a-Melissa-Etheridge-concert/</link>
	<description>Comments on Ask MetaFilter post My friend's friend saw so-in-so at a Melissa Etheridge concert...</description>
	<pubDate>Sat, 17 Feb 2007 04:53:08 -0800</pubDate>
	<lastBuildDate>Sat, 17 Feb 2007 04:53:08 -0800</lastBuildDate>
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		<title>Question: My friend&apos;s friend saw so-in-so at a Melissa Etheridge concert...</title>
		<link>http://ask.metafilter.com/57150/My-friends-friend-saw-soinso-at-a-Melissa-Etheridge-concert</link>	
		<description>Are there any &lt;strong&gt;openly&lt;/strong&gt; lesbian women&apos;s basketball coaches in the NCAA?</description>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">post:ask.metafilter.com,2007:site.57150</guid>
		<pubDate>Sat, 17 Feb 2007 04:27:03 -0800</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>10ch</dc:creator>
		
			<category>lesbian</category>
		
			<category>ncaa</category>
		
			<category>collegebasketball</category>
		
			<category>basketball</category>
		
			<category>womensbasketball</category>
		
			<category>coaches</category>
		
	</item> <item>
		<title>By: Carol Anne</title>
		<link>http://ask.metafilter.com/57150/My-friends-friend-saw-soinso-at-a-Melissa-Etheridge-concert#859386</link>	
		<description>Currently coaching?  No.  &lt;br&gt;
&lt;br&gt;
Openly lesbian fans, like me, do have an information  grapevine about who is (or who might be) gay.  It&apos;s widely known that a number of couples are coaching together.  A recent story by Mechelle Voepel (ESPN.com and Kansas City Star) came close to stating that the Kansas State coaches are partners.</description>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">comment:ask.metafilter.com,2007:site.57150-859386</guid>
		<pubDate>Sat, 17 Feb 2007 04:53:08 -0800</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Carol Anne</dc:creator>
	</item><item>
		<title>By: donnagirl</title>
		<link>http://ask.metafilter.com/57150/My-friends-friend-saw-soinso-at-a-Melissa-Etheridge-concert#859434</link>	
		<description>I&apos;m at Kansas State, and a once-rabid fan of our women&apos;s team.  It is pretty commonly accepted across campus that our head &amp;amp; assistant coach are partners, but it&apos;s far, far from open.  The assistant coach&apos;s choosing to remain as an asst in the face of numerous overtures over the last decade from programs  looking for a head coach is pretty telling.  What&apos;s most unfortunate is that if they are indeed partners, they&apos;re also horrible hypocrites, or horrifically in denial, because the head coach has been accused &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.kansascity.com/mld/kansascity/sports/15649391.htm&quot;&gt;numerous times&lt;/a&gt; of wielding her religion like a club over players and staff who aren&apos;t Christian enough for her tastes.</description>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">comment:ask.metafilter.com,2007:site.57150-859434</guid>
		<pubDate>Sat, 17 Feb 2007 07:59:21 -0800</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>donnagirl</dc:creator>
	</item><item>
		<title>By: Carol Anne</title>
		<link>http://ask.metafilter.com/57150/My-friends-friend-saw-soinso-at-a-Melissa-Etheridge-concert#859444</link>	
		<description>There are layers of knowledge about lesbians who are coaches.  After 20 years of fandom, I assume a coach is gay if her official bio gives no personal information, or just reads &quot;She resides in X.&quot;  (Married coaches&apos; bios go on and on about hubby and kids, by the way.  No doubts about the heterosexuals.)&lt;br&gt;
&lt;br&gt;
I&apos;ve seen K-State&apos;s head coach called &quot;Deb&lt;em&gt; I&apos;m-too-Christian-to-be-gay &lt;/em&gt;Patterson.&quot;  She&apos;s pathetic!</description>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">comment:ask.metafilter.com,2007:site.57150-859444</guid>
		<pubDate>Sat, 17 Feb 2007 08:27:21 -0800</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Carol Anne</dc:creator>
	</item><item>
		<title>By: 10ch</title>
		<link>http://ask.metafilter.com/57150/My-friends-friend-saw-soinso-at-a-Melissa-Etheridge-concert#859454</link>	
		<description>That&apos;s my problem exactly.  I know that there are lesbian coaches (and players) in my neck of the woods, too.  But they aren&apos;t out (some go even so far as to get married) and many discourage their lesbian players from being out.  &lt;br&gt;
&lt;br&gt;
It&apos;s enraging and heartbreaking and did-I-mention enraging?&lt;br&gt;
&lt;br&gt;
Not to mention what the stands would look like if lesbians didn&apos;t support these teams.  The turn out is better than any dyke bar I&apos;ve ever been to.</description>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">comment:ask.metafilter.com,2007:site.57150-859454</guid>
		<pubDate>Sat, 17 Feb 2007 08:41:29 -0800</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>10ch</dc:creator>
	</item><item>
		<title>By: Carol Anne</title>
		<link>http://ask.metafilter.com/57150/My-friends-friend-saw-soinso-at-a-Melissa-Etheridge-concert#859464</link>	
		<description>I love college women&apos;s basketball.  I adore any number of players and coaches.  But, as a self-respecting lesbian, I&apos;m horrified at the deep, deep closets so many athletic women live in.  &lt;br&gt;
&lt;br&gt;
It&apos;s a merry-go-round.  The coach wants to protect herself and her program, the players want to protect the coach and themselves, the administration doesn&apos;t even want to think about it, and the fans range from clueless to knowing it all.  Somebody, somewhere has to break free and come out while she&apos;s playing or while she&apos;s coaching.&lt;br&gt;
&lt;br&gt;
&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.usatoday.com/sports/college/womensbasketball/2007-02-13-nkosi-cover_x.htm&quot;&gt;Emily Niemann&lt;/a&gt;, a former Baylor University player, did come out in a wonderful USA Today story this week.  Unfortunately, Tim Hardaway&apos;s homophobia drew vastly greater attention.</description>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">comment:ask.metafilter.com,2007:site.57150-859464</guid>
		<pubDate>Sat, 17 Feb 2007 09:01:30 -0800</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Carol Anne</dc:creator>
	</item><item>
		<title>By: frogan</title>
		<link>http://ask.metafilter.com/57150/My-friends-friend-saw-soinso-at-a-Melissa-Etheridge-concert#859734</link>	
		<description>NCAA coaches spend as much time &lt;em&gt;recruiting &lt;/em&gt;players as they do actually coaching players. These players (and their influential parents) come from all walks of life. So there&apos;s a disincentive to bring sexuality (of all kinds) into the mix and muddy the recruiting waters.&lt;br&gt;
&lt;br&gt;
I&apos;m a male parent of a basketball-playing daughter. I truthfully couldn&apos;t care less about her coach&apos;s sexuality. But I would take a hard look at a recruiting coach that &lt;em&gt;took the time&lt;/em&gt; to &lt;em&gt;deliberately &lt;/em&gt;make details about her sexuality public.&lt;br&gt;
&lt;br&gt;
&quot;Yep, I&apos;m gay. Come play on my team.&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;Are you a good coach?&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;Yes. And did I mention that I was gay?&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;What kind of coaching qualifications do you have?&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;We won our conference last year. And I&apos;m gay.&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&lt;br&gt;
But hey, maybe that actually works for them in recruiting, I don&apos;t know. ;-)&lt;br&gt;
&lt;br&gt;
Replace &quot;gay&quot; with &quot;Christian&quot; or &quot;Martian&quot; or anything else in my exaggerated dialog above, and I&apos;d probably have the same kind of reaction. &quot;What does your being a Martian have to do with &lt;em&gt;basketball&lt;/em&gt;, exactly?&quot;</description>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">comment:ask.metafilter.com,2007:site.57150-859734</guid>
		<pubDate>Sat, 17 Feb 2007 15:17:12 -0800</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>frogan</dc:creator>
	</item><item>
		<title>By: Carol Anne</title>
		<link>http://ask.metafilter.com/57150/My-friends-friend-saw-soinso-at-a-Melissa-Etheridge-concert#859752</link>	
		<description>frogan: Don&apos;t worry, no lesbian coach is &lt;strong&gt;ever &lt;/strong&gt;going to out herself to you and your daughter.  &lt;br&gt;
&lt;br&gt;
But some heterosexual coaches will point the finger at competing gay coaches.  I assume you are aware of Rene Portland&apos;s behavior at Penn State?  If not, &lt;a href=&quot;http://womenshoops.blogspot.com/2005/10/brief-history-of-rene-portland-and-l.html&quot;&gt;Women&apos;s Hoops Blog &lt;/a&gt;has the story.</description>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">comment:ask.metafilter.com,2007:site.57150-859752</guid>
		<pubDate>Sat, 17 Feb 2007 15:39:01 -0800</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Carol Anne</dc:creator>
	</item><item>
		<title>By: LobsterMitten</title>
		<link>http://ask.metafilter.com/57150/My-friends-friend-saw-soinso-at-a-Melissa-Etheridge-concert#859816</link>	
		<description>frogan,true but  I think that&apos;s kind of a strawman. Hetero coaches don&apos;t do that by saying they&apos;re married on their bio webpages, do they?</description>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">comment:ask.metafilter.com,2007:site.57150-859816</guid>
		<pubDate>Sat, 17 Feb 2007 17:16:21 -0800</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>LobsterMitten</dc:creator>
	</item><item>
		<title>By: LobsterMitten</title>
		<link>http://ask.metafilter.com/57150/My-friends-friend-saw-soinso-at-a-Melissa-Etheridge-concert#859822</link>	
		<description>&lt;small&gt;Re: Emily Neimann. Wow! Thanks for the link to that story. But, maybe not a great idea to marry your first-ever gf when you&apos;re 21? Nice that she has the chance to, and an excellent idea to move to Mass; here&apos;s hoping it works out.&lt;/small&gt;</description>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">comment:ask.metafilter.com,2007:site.57150-859822</guid>
		<pubDate>Sat, 17 Feb 2007 17:30:31 -0800</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>LobsterMitten</dc:creator>
	</item><item>
		<title>By: frogan</title>
		<link>http://ask.metafilter.com/57150/My-friends-friend-saw-soinso-at-a-Melissa-Etheridge-concert#859839</link>	
		<description>&lt;em&gt;frogan,true but I think that&apos;s kind of a strawman. Hetero coaches don&apos;t do that by saying they&apos;re married on their bio webpages, do they?&lt;/em&gt;&lt;br&gt;
&lt;br&gt;
I was just pointing out that NCAA recruiting is intense competition, and a gay coach may elect to remain semi-closeted in order to simply keep the issue off the table. They could be happily out (or not) to family and friends but deliberately take the &quot;don&apos;t ask, don&apos;t tell&quot; approach when it comes to their professional life, out of fear they&apos;ll lose out on recruiting the girl with the sweet jump shot and the nutcase parents.&lt;br&gt;
&lt;br&gt;
Some may call it heartbreaking. And it is. But it could also just be the result of a competitive, savvy coach that doesn&apos;t want to let those nutcase parents prevent them from having the best team on the floor.</description>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">comment:ask.metafilter.com,2007:site.57150-859839</guid>
		<pubDate>Sat, 17 Feb 2007 18:20:19 -0800</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>frogan</dc:creator>
	</item><item>
		<title>By: frogan</title>
		<link>http://ask.metafilter.com/57150/My-friends-friend-saw-soinso-at-a-Melissa-Etheridge-concert#859842</link>	
		<description>&lt;em&gt;Hetero coaches don&apos;t do that by saying they&apos;re married on their bio webpages, do they?&lt;/em&gt;&lt;br&gt;
&lt;br&gt;
Oh, and I&apos;d point out that the hetero coaches might very well be putting their families front-and-center to create the recruiting illusion that the team will be an extension of &quot;this happy family you see right here on this media guide. See, you should give your daughter to me, I&apos;ll take care of her as if she was my own. You don&apos;t want to go to State U ... look how warm and loving we are here at Big Name U.&quot;</description>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">comment:ask.metafilter.com,2007:site.57150-859842</guid>
		<pubDate>Sat, 17 Feb 2007 18:25:27 -0800</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>frogan</dc:creator>
	</item><item>
		<title>By: LobsterMitten</title>
		<link>http://ask.metafilter.com/57150/My-friends-friend-saw-soinso-at-a-Melissa-Etheridge-concert#859860</link>	
		<description>&lt;small&gt; Compare:&lt;/small&gt;&lt;br&gt;
&lt;small&gt;&lt;i&gt;Replace &quot;gay&quot; with &quot;Christian&quot; or &quot;Martian&quot; or anything else in my exaggerated dialog above, and I&apos;d probably have the same kind of reaction. &quot;What does your being a Martian have to do with basketball, exactly?&quot;&lt;/i&gt;&lt;/small&gt; &lt;br&gt;
&lt;small&gt;and&lt;/small&gt;&lt;br&gt;
&lt;small&gt;&lt;i&gt;the hetero coaches might very well be putting their families front-and-center to create the recruiting illusion that the team will be an extension of &quot;this happy family ...&quot;&lt;/i&gt;&lt;/small&gt;&lt;br&gt;
&lt;br&gt;
&lt;small&gt; Well, I think the second point you make is exactly right. I&apos;m quite sure that&apos;s why they stay closeted. (That is, I think it explains exactly why the &quot;What does your personal life have to do with basketball&quot; attitude suggested by your first point is disingenuous. In recruiting, a coach&apos;s personal life &lt;i&gt;is&lt;/i&gt; taken to be relevant to basketball.)  &lt;/small&gt;</description>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">comment:ask.metafilter.com,2007:site.57150-859860</guid>
		<pubDate>Sat, 17 Feb 2007 19:17:29 -0800</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>LobsterMitten</dc:creator>
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