Valentine's Day Woes

February 7, 2007 12:10 PM

I'm looking for some suggestions on what to do this Vday. My Girlfriend and I rarely get to go out anymore because of my hectic work schedule and I want to make this year extra special...

Here's the lowdown: I work upwards to 70-80 hours every week. We rarely get to go out anymore. I'm usually only able to spend at least an hour with her every night. I'd like to treat her to something extremely special this year. I managed to line everything up with my job and actually get the 14th off for once (1st real day off in 4 weeks!). I'd like to have a full day spending time with her. I'm open for any suggestions at all. I'm a workaholic in the making and so don't get outside much except for the occasional dinner. I am planning on taking her out to the restaurant where we had out first date. But for the entire first part of the day I'm drawing a blank. What do normal couples do? Taking her to a movie or shopping seems kind of out of place for Vday. I'm grasping for straws here. I want to make this day special for her. I've thought about taking her to a spa and letting her relax but I'm not sure about me going to a spa and I don't want to leave her. Any ideas?

posted by unvivid to human relations (19 comments total)

Oh, just an FYI - I live in Des Moines Iowa. Not the biggest town in the world. But not the smallest either. There's not a ton of things here to do see. Especially in the cold...
posted by unvivid at 12:13 PM on February 7, 2007

* What about going to get a couple massage?
* Get a hotel room with a big hot tube and spend the day in bed - or through room service.
* Go for a walk together or rent some snow shoes. Wine tasting somewhere in the area?
* Build a snowman, go sledding. Something fun, something together.

Just a few
posted by bleucube at 12:18 PM on February 7, 2007

I definitely second the hotel idea. It's important to get away from any possible distractions. It's not so much what you do that's important, it's spending the time together. Since you work so much, I'm sure she will appreciate your undivided attention.
posted by elvissa at 12:28 PM on February 7, 2007

It never would have occured to me that Des Moine was the go-to city for finding really nice hotel rooms that come with a big hot tube :)

How about theatre or opera? An excuse to get all dressed up, which women love. Treat her to a manicure the day before so that she feels especially elegant.
posted by hermitosis at 12:31 PM on February 7, 2007

Just a thought.. the hotel idea seems great, unless you two have not been intimate, in that case it might seem like you are just trying to get in her pants (sorry if that was inappropriate or just stupid to say, just a thought)
Good luck! :)
posted by ForeverDcember at 12:32 PM on February 7, 2007

I want to make this day special for her.

Ask her what she'd like to do. She'll probably list several, so if you want to pick one, just surprise her with one.

And of course, great sex.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 12:34 PM on February 7, 2007

Ideas.
posted by JeremiahBritt at 12:39 PM on February 7, 2007

The most romantic thing a boyfriend ever did for my birthday was to take the day off, put his laptop and cellphone in a filing cabinet, lock it and give me the key. That told me that he wanted to spend time with me (and he was a workaholic too, so it meant a lot!). It was a few years ago, and I can't remember the details of what we actually did that day, but that one simple act made me feel very very special.
posted by finding.perdita at 12:42 PM on February 7, 2007 [4 favorites]

A nice little treasure hunt woud be fun too. Like have a bunch of pre made envelopes that have locations and things to do. I did this and it worked wonderful. You do the things together of course. Some examples:

1. Grab a cup of coffee at your favorite java pub
2. Take enclosed $50/100 and spend it at your favorite store (I suggest victoria secrets *grin*)
3. Everytime we stop at a red light we need to kiss
4. Go for a walk
5. Eat at your favorite place

You could go and cache special gifts too or work it out with the managers to create a romantic environment. Like have flowers on the table and little box of treats waiting at the various places.
posted by bleucube at 12:55 PM on February 7, 2007

debleucube is definitely on the right track with the big hot tube idea!
posted by BSummers at 1:00 PM on February 7, 2007

pick out a meal and go to a Farmer's Market to pick out all of the ingredients and make dinner together, taking your time, listening to your favorite music --- then give each other prolonged full body rubs (research out some erotic massage techniques) -- YEAH BABY
posted by mrmarley at 1:16 PM on February 7, 2007 [1 favorite]

after dinner give each other prolonged full body rubs (research out some erotic massage techniques) -- YEAH BABY
posted by mrmarley at 1:18 PM on February 7, 2007

There's the Art Center, the Botanical Center, the river walk with the new ice rink.

Have you dined at Claxon's in Altoona? First rate BBQ. After dark, assuming it isn't too cold, go for a walk at Gray's Lake. My experience says, however, that everyone else in our fair city will be doing the same things so you'd better have reservations.

You could stay in for the day and read a mystery together. Coffee and hot chocolate go well with this.
posted by kc0dxh at 1:45 PM on February 7, 2007

Asking her for ideas is great, but don't discount your own ideas either. She might be the type who doesn't want to ask for anything too extravagent, but would really enjoy something like a massage. That's such a treat. I think it's a great idea. If you can't find a couples' massage, it's fine for her to go be by herself for an hour. (She'll probably be thinking about how great her boyfriend is for getting her a massge - this is good.)

Does she like to get dressed up? I still get excited about my bf and I getting dressed up and going out to a fancy dinner. Just putting on fancy clothes reminds me that we're grownups and we're doing something special and romantic - it's a uniform for fun and romance rather than our everyday "uniforms." So if she likes to get dressed up, an occasion for doing so could be good - fancy dinner, nice performance.

You could do something personal for her. Create a mix of your couples songs if you have any; create a crossword puzzle for her where the words & clues are all significant to you as a couple; put together a photo album of your couple pictures; create a treasure hunt for her; breakfast in bed, etc. These are things girls seem to do more than guys, and a good rule for gift giving is to give the kind of gifts the giver typically gives - that shows what they think is special.

Hotels and cabins are great setups for romance.

If she's a flower girl, get her flowers. If red roses aren't her favorite, figure out what her favorites are. (So many guys assume red roses are the most special.)

That's what I've got for now. Sounds like she'll be happy that you're spending the time with her.
posted by Amizu at 1:54 PM on February 7, 2007

1) I hate you. Nothing personal, mind, I'm merely bitter. But I definitely hate you.

2) OK, now that I've got that out of the way, ignore what "normal" couples do. Identify things she's interested in, and try to find novel ways to combine them.

For example, let's say she likes skiing and oil-painting -- well, combine 'em! I'm not sure how you'd combine skiing and oil-painting, but I'm pretty damn sure she'll always remember you tried!

Make goddamn sure you're happy the whole day; if it's pouring rain suddenly, find a reason why that's the most fantastic stroke of good luck! Whatever goes wrong, do not let your obsession with the "special day" turn it into a daylong deathmarch. If things go awry, figure out how to turn that to your advantage and move on! God help you if you even utter one word about work.

And small details, when made suitably "thoughtful" can go over huge. In fact, an assemblage of small details/gestures is extremely useful when things don't go as planned because it gets BOTH of your minds off the setback and back on track.
posted by aramaic at 2:26 PM on February 7, 2007

Stay in bed all morning, go to a museum, hang out in a great cafe, go on a tour of a place in your city you've always wanted to go but didn't fine time or the out-of-town visitors to make it happen, wander through book stores, see a movie......I love the spa/hot tub idea too and the wine tasting.

Some other ideas here and here.
But it really sounds like just being with her and being focused on her rather than your job is the thing that matters.
posted by otherwordlyglow at 2:27 PM on February 7, 2007

propose?

Ok, I'm leaving now . . .
posted by Sassyfras at 3:21 PM on February 7, 2007

Just make sure you relax, and don't focus on accomplishing tasks, or making the day perfect. Have some chill music at the ready, dark chocolate or whatever treats she likes on hand, some green or chamomile tea, that sort of thing. I work and stress a lot, so that's where I'm coming from when I write this - other people relax more and enjoy doing very little for long periods of time, and if your life is a hectic one, there's no reason not to limit yourself to one or two nice activities during the day, and relaxing at a nice hotel or at home with chill music, candles, and dark chocolate. I second going to a spa together or couples' massage as part of it.
posted by lorrer at 3:23 PM on February 7, 2007

I got my boyfriend Dr. Sketchy's Rainy Day Colouring Book. If he set up a massage or a facial for me, I'd about fall over.

Ditto on the red roses, btw. They're not everyone's favorites (I'm a carnation girl, myself). What about a g.c. to Flowerbud and let her pick out her own?
posted by bitter-girl.com at 5:03 PM on February 7, 2007