I don't think I'm interested in anything, in any realm. I used to have interests and ideas and goals but I feel like I've slowly lost all of that.
I didn't find anything that would answer this question or give me applicable ideas or suggestions while searching, so please bear with me.
I'm 24, live alone (well, with a cat) and am working two jobs to get out of debt and hopefully, hopefully move out of state to a more exciting place and into an exciting job.
The problem is, I don't know where I want to live (I have a few ideas but the logistics, like the expenses, scare me), and I really don't know what I want to do.
I have a degree in journalism and tried that for a while but it didn't really seem to be my "thing." I figured if it was, I would be still doing it and trying really hard to get hired at another newspaper. Instead I said, "Meh, whatever" and left.
As a kid I couldn't ever get my nose out of a book or stop writing my own little dorky stories. It was assumed that would be what I would do. Instead when I got to college I decided to go into political science/prelaw, then criminal justice, then when I realized I may never find my niche switched to journalism and graduated. I switched because I knew it would be easy for me and I didn't have the option of being in school forever "finding myself."
Aside from the working stuff, I don't have any hobbies or anything that I'm particularly passionate about. I still love to read, and do quite often, but other than that, I don't have anything that really "lights my fire."
I have good friends, great family and plenty of great memories of when I used to see my friends all the time (many of them have moved away). I feel like I haven't done anything to create any more memories lately.
I struggle to think about what's changed since I was a kid and had dreams and goals, and it's been pretty much everything (parents divorced when I was 18 and had just gone away to school, I used to be very active in after school activities and my church's youth group, more for the camraderie than the spirituality, I lived with people and not alone, everyone else was single too instead of it just being me, etc.).
Has anyone else ever had this feeling of intense indifference? I could just as easily sit inside and watch TV every day of my life as anything else - I look at how I spent my weekends before getting the second job, which was basically doing nothing during the day and going out at night (which is infinitely less fun than it used to be). The problem is I WANT to be motivated and passionate and excited about something but it just seems to be a concept ever more out of reach as time goes by.
This is quite the ramble and I apologize, but it would be great to know that I'm not alone in this!
Thank you all so much!
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Of course, you are not alone. I strongly suggest you go talk to a doctor and possibly look into therapy. You can also look into CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) books such as the Feeling Good Handbook. But I think that the best place to start is with a doctor and a therapist, to get a depression screening and to figure out a course of action.
It's hard to feel passionate about much when you are depressed. For the present time, I would focus on making yourself feel GOOD though. For starters, try to make sure you are getting some exercise everyday, even just going for a walk might boost your mood & energy a bit. Then, try to give yourself something fun to do everyday. There is nothing wrong with reading books as your enjoyable activity. But think of other things. Maybe sign up for a creative writing class at a community college or community center, or join a writing workshop either in person or online.
Think about what used to light your fire. Why doesn't it enthrall you anymore? Is it because you've given up hope? Is it because you're afraid of failure or a challenge? Is it because you're too tired/lethargic feeling to go for it? These are huge symptoms of depression, and you CAN feel better.
posted by tastybrains at 7:55 AM on January 18, 2007