Non-lame gifts for cool bridesmaids?

January 17, 2007 2:56 PM

I'm looking for advice for what to give my (5) bridesmaids. They're smart, cool women in their thirties (and of a variety of shapes and sizes), and I'm not sure that many of the typical gifts I see on some sites (super-froofy jewelry, pastel totes, etc.) would be appropriate/appreciated.

I don't usually have problems with gift shopping, but there's something about shopping for 1 gift/gift type that works for 5 people at once that makes it trickier for me for some reason (but I don't want to get them completely different from one another gifts).

posted by mollymolo to clothing, beauty, & fashion (31 comments total)

I love the idea of having a purse party as a gift to your bridesmaids. Each bridesmaid designs her own bag so they're assured to get what they want. It's great bonding and great fun.
posted by MeetMegan at 3:01 PM on January 17, 2007

How much do you want to spend? Does it need to be something that they'll wear for the wedding, or can it be anything?

If you need a gift for a stylish city-dwelling girl, it's really hard to go wrong with something from Anthropologie. I'm currently obsessed with this necklace. It may or may not be in your price range, but I think most girls would find it, or something else from Anthropologie's jewelry range, quite Yay!

(I don't work for Anthropologie, or own stock in them. Just covet most of their stuff.)

Good luck with your wedding! :)
posted by thehmsbeagle at 3:03 PM on January 17, 2007

This previous question might give you some suggestions.
posted by meerkatty at 3:04 PM on January 17, 2007

One option is to give them some sort of charitable donation. In the UK, for example, you can donate goats and wells and things to villages in poor rural areas.

When a friend of mine got married, I donated a bunch of goats as a gift for the couple and they seemed to particularly appreciate it.
posted by sindark at 3:05 PM on January 17, 2007

I've been on the receiving end of "girly" bridesmaids gifts- handbags, jewelry, etc. It's all been UGLY. Don't waste your money on crap like that- every person's taste is so subjective, you won't be able to please everyone, and you might not be able to please anyone. I think something they can USE is best- great chocolate/gift certificate for a manicure/hand lotion.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 3:07 PM on January 17, 2007 [1 favorite]

I gave mine fountain pens.
posted by The corpse in the library at 3:09 PM on January 17, 2007

What time of year is you wedding going to be held? If you think it's going to be cold, a pretty, warmish wrap might be nice. If it's a summer wedding, get them some pretty fans.
posted by Sara Anne at 3:13 PM on January 17, 2007

spa gift certificates?
posted by i love cheese at 3:21 PM on January 17, 2007

When I was maid of honor for a friend last year, she gave me a nice wine basket, which I liked! My former sister-in-law gave her bridesmaids engraved silver julep cups -- they're nice as small vases.

I also think the suggestions of a fountain pen, gift certificates for manicure or spa services, or charitable donations are also all likely to be appreciated without your having to worry about personal style/taste issues.
posted by scody at 3:25 PM on January 17, 2007

A good friend of mine gave me and the four other bridesmaids simple, elegant pearl earrings. I wear earrings maybe once a year, but these are the ones that I now wear.
posted by sueinnyc at 3:31 PM on January 17, 2007

I am tasteless. I gave cash. My bridesmaids (2) travelled across the country on their own dime. Least I could do was help defray costs a bit.
posted by crazycanuck at 3:39 PM on January 17, 2007

i will second spa gift certificates. every one likes a good mani/pedi/massage/waxing....don't they?
posted by dearest at 3:47 PM on January 17, 2007

wine
posted by mmascolino at 3:52 PM on January 17, 2007

One option is to give them some sort of charitable donation.

Miss Manners on a charitable donation as an alleged gift: "...the fact remains that your friends did not give you a present. They got a twofer out of their philanthropy by merging their gift list with their charity list."
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 4:04 PM on January 17, 2007

You can find feel-good gift baskets at Origins, Sephora, Burt's Bees, Bath & Body Works, l'Occitane, etc. Go with the smells they like (vanilla, amber, lavender, lemon, spice, verbena, gardenia, etc.) and assemble a customized collection for them. Add a robe and slippers for the ultimate "Thanks for your help; now it's time for you to relax!" gift.

You probably know your friends taste when it comes to scents, so it's very easy to pick out something they'll like. (I have always appreciated these kinds of gifts, so YMMV.)
posted by parilous at 4:25 PM on January 17, 2007 [1 favorite]

when my sister got married (ten bridesmaids!), she created ten little hand made books with photos of all of us throughout the years and stories, with at least one story about each individual and how awesome they were and how she was grateful to have us a friend. they were really pretty little books tied together with nice white ribbon. and it's really nice to have a little collection of photos and stories involving all of us. she also gave us a spa gift certificate (which of course was awesome). anyway, i really appreciated the book. somehow it meant more to me that she had taken the time to put together something thoughtful like that, even though it didn't cost all that much to assemble. but i also agree with spa certificates and wine and jewelry and all that good stuff. oh, and congratulations!
posted by mosessis at 4:50 PM on January 17, 2007

When my husband's step-sister was married, she asked me to design jewelry that each of her 4 bridesmaids could wear during the wedding and then keep as a gift. The dresses were all the same color/fabric, but different styles. Bride was able to tell me a lot about the ladies and their individual personalities and styles, and I designed necklaces and earrings out of a family of gemstone colors (pearls, amythest, rose quartz) that would match without being "matchy", and would not be over-the-top bridesmaid-y. So "ladylike" A got pearls with a touch of pink and purple, "dramatic" B got a single, fabulous deep amythest drop, so forth and so on. Bride told me she knew which set belonged to whom before she ever read the cards I included, and I've seen pictures of her friends months after the wedding when they were wearing their jewelry. Of course, that could just be a case of "Oooo, I'm going to be seeing Bride, I'd better wear her stupid present", but I choose to take a more optimistic approach.
posted by ersatzkat at 5:05 PM on January 17, 2007

Personally, I'd prefer something like an Amazon or Barnes & Noble gift card. Or an iPod mini/shuffle, depending on your price range. I'm too sensitive to scents to like most of what comes in gift baskets & I rarely wear jewelry. Fountain pens just seem ... wierd. (The only places who give me pens are banks or employers too cheap to spring for a decent going-away gift.)

A spa day might be nice if they can pick which services they get, rather than getting locked into a manicure or something they don't like. I like massages.

My sister-in-law gave her maid of honor an engraved silver bracelet. I avoided this problem by not having bridesmaids. :)
posted by belladonna at 5:19 PM on January 17, 2007

I gave pashmina wraps in different colors. It's the sort of thing a girl only needs once or twice a year so isn't necessarily going to buy for herself -- but it's awfully nice to have one when you're dashing out the door to a fancy party and there's a chill in the air. Along the same lines, I've received a few sparkly, go-with-anything clutch purses as gifts over the years which I deeply appreciate, since it never occurs to me to buy one myself until the moment I try to wear a huge leather purse with a silk party dress.
posted by junkbox at 5:47 PM on January 17, 2007

These all turned out really well for me:

Monogrammed makeup bags from Objects of Desire (pick each girl's favorite color)

Gorgeous earrings that you can wear for other things at Sorrelli

Fancy-schmancy necklaces that I saw at least two of my bridesmaids wearing again over the holidays, also by Sorrelli, but I got them at Jewels for the Soul

All three retailers were great to work with, and each of the latter two put a rush on my order and delivered ahead of time since it took me so long to decide.

Along the lines of mosessis' recommendation, I recently received a photo album from 1154 Lill as a bridesmaids gift. It was similar to this. The bride picked out different fabrics based on each person's taste, and filled it with pictures going way back to the beginning of our friendship. That was a really fun gift.
posted by askmeanony at 5:54 PM on January 17, 2007

Seconding what mosessis said (though the book mentioned there is a wonderful idea), when I got married I picked up a copy of "The Love of Friends: A Celebration of Women's Friendship" by Barbara Alpert for each woman. Then I sat down with each copy and underlined passages that reminded me of each woman, and wrote in personalized stories about why it made me think of them. That, and the day before the wedding, I took them all to the spa for the day with me - we all did massages, mani/pedis and sat around for the day drinking champagne and gossiping. I think we all enjoyed that more than gift certificates, though that might not fit into your schedule (lord knows weddings are hectic).
posted by librarianamy at 6:25 PM on January 17, 2007

maybe a magazine subscription, to a cool smart mag like the economist, harper's, or, for something a bit glossier and funner, the always-amusing readymade?

you could make a photo book that shows the story of your friendship on a site like blurb? (a friend made one for his wife, illustrating their two cats in various attitudes of undressed repose, which went over like gangbusters).

what about a vibrator?
(ps, linking to that page shouldn't be construed as a satisfied endorsement of that particular product. i'd never seen nor heard of it until google tossed it in my path moments ago. looks cool, though, no?)
posted by twistofrhyme at 8:31 PM on January 17, 2007

My favorite bridesmaid gift was a sterling letter opener engraved with my initals and date of the wedding.

Come to think of it, I've stood in many weddings, this is the only one I can remember! I use it to this day.
posted by JujuB at 9:36 PM on January 17, 2007 [1 favorite]

My favourite was a book store gift certificate. The bride chose a different gift certificate for each of us based on what she thought we would like and use.

I've been a bridesmaid more than a dozen times. The worst gifts I have ever received were:

a) a year's membership in a chocolate-of-the-month club. All the chocolates contained nuts; I have a life-threatening nut allergy. I couldn't transfer the membership and had to cancel it, which meant the bride might have just taken the money she spent and flushed it.

b) a makeup case. Useless for someone who doesn't wear makeup, and it even felt a bit like I was being told that I "should" be wearing makeup, or that there was something wrong with me because I didn't. I gave that to a friend.

c) A 15 inch gold chain. It didn't even fit around my neck, and I was thin at the time.

d) A gift certificate for a store that didn't exist in my part of the world and that didn't handle mail orders.
posted by watsondog at 11:36 PM on January 17, 2007

Design their own converse shoes?

Second magazine subscription - that's what I gave my bridesmaids.
posted by gaspode at 7:33 AM on January 18, 2007

One wedding I was in, the bride paid for our dresses (!). That was a pretty great bridesmaid gift.

For my bridesmaids, all 3 of them prefer tea to coffee, so I got them each a Yixing teapot, each one different to suit their personality. My husband got his groomsmen Leatherman tools with their initials engraved on them.

To expand this into a bridesmaid-gift-philosophy, I'd say:
Look for something that the women have in common, so you can get them all similar things, but find a way to make each item personalized.

Maybe we can help more if you tell us some things these women have in common with one another; are they all already married? Do they all live in urban areas? What's their taste in movies? etc.
posted by Sprout the Vulgarian at 7:41 AM on January 18, 2007

moleskines all around!

(that's what i would want :) )
posted by kidsleepy at 7:54 AM on January 18, 2007

Don't think of them as bridesmaids' gifts, but just gifts. (For adults. Who can buy their own damn soap.) "Bridesmaids" implies girlie fru-fru potpourri scented candle gift basket. That way lies madness... Next thing you know, you're laughing at Cathy.

I don't see why they have to match -- the women are individuals, after all. If you want them to be similar, though, I like watsondog's idea of gift certificates.
posted by The corpse in the library at 1:42 PM on January 18, 2007

Sterling silver bubble blowers?

Actually, if you CAN pay for their dresses, or their hairdos or something, do that. It's amazing how expensive it is to be a bridesmaid.
posted by exceptinsects at 3:05 PM on January 18, 2007

Actually, on preview--give them the monogrammed Leathermen! Everyone needs a Leatherman.
posted by exceptinsects at 3:06 PM on January 18, 2007

Thanks everyone-- awesome suggestions! I'd post exactly what I decided on, but what if my bridesmaids stumble upon this! (Should have gone anon). But I'll say that Etsy.com is involved for much of it. How did I not know about etsy before?
posted by mollymolo at 3:22 PM on January 18, 2007