Drunk @ Work again

December 15, 2006 9:40 AM

[LegalDrinkingFilter.] My hotstuff girlfriend lawyer wants to get an engraved flask for her firm partners. She's trying to think of something witty to engrave on it like "BB&W where it's legal to drink". (Actually more witty than that). Please help us!
posted by bitdamaged to work & money (42 comments total)

In Italian, "flask" is fiasco. Perhaps a joke including that?
posted by cerebus19 at 9:55 AM on December 15, 2006

What is "BB&W" please?
posted by bricoleur at 10:01 AM on December 15, 2006

I take the fifth...



OF BOURBON.
posted by 23skidoo at 10:10 AM on December 15, 2006 [2 favorites has favorites]

I AM A LAWYER
DO NOT RESUSCITATE
posted by nineRED at 10:12 AM on December 15, 2006 [3 favorites has favorites]

The question is what to get engraved, BB&W is a made up firm name.
posted by bitdamaged at 10:13 AM on December 15, 2006

If the firm really is BB&W, try "BB&W: Beer, Bourbon & Wine"

If not just go with a 'drop your briefs' gag.
posted by rocket88 at 10:13 AM on December 15, 2006 [1 favorite has favorites]

Something playing on passing the bar test? (yeah, kind of obvious):
BB&W, we never pass a bar.
BB&W, where the lawyers only passed one bar in thier lives

Or "BB&W, Imbibery, not bribery"?
posted by qldaddy at 10:13 AM on December 15, 2006 [1 favorite has favorites]

after the DUI lawyers in the free weeklies: "I TOLD YOU THAT ROADSIDE DUI CHECK WAS OPTIONAL! CALL FOR REPRESENTATION xxx-xxx-xxxx"
posted by boo_radley at 10:14 AM on December 15, 2006

Perhaps a nerdy prohibition reference?

AMENDMENT XXI
Section 1. The eighteenth article of amendment to the Constitution of the United States is hereby repealed.

I would think that any inscription that couples the firm's name with an implication of routine on-the-job drinking would be imprudent. I know I wouldn't hire them now.
posted by MaxVonCretin at 10:14 AM on December 15, 2006

"Serve yourself"
multum in parvo "much in little"

There must be a million legal/drinking puns or latin phrases that sound formal and classy.
posted by cowbellemoo at 10:14 AM on December 15, 2006

What is a girlfriend lawyer?

As for the flasks, how about "Due Process." Because that's guaranteed by the 5th Amendment. And booze comes in, ya know... fifths.

Oh, nevermind. I got nothin'.
posted by thinman at 10:18 AM on December 15, 2006

My two favorite legal plays on words that don't have much to do with drinking are

OPEN & NOTORIOUS

and

ATTRACTIVE NUISANCE
posted by jessamyn at 10:39 AM on December 15, 2006

LAWYER
SCUM

posted by MaxVonCretin at 10:41 AM on December 15, 2006

drat - i guess the "FONT" tag doesn't work (though it does in Live Preview). That was suposed to be in Greek.
posted by MaxVonCretin at 10:42 AM on December 15, 2006

I like to call myself "privileged and nonresponsive."
posted by Saucy Intruder at 10:45 AM on December 15, 2006

I GET A THIRD OF WHATEVER YOU PUT IN HERE
posted by poppo at 10:49 AM on December 15, 2006 [1 favorite has favorites]

RETAINER CONTAINER
posted by poppo at 10:50 AM on December 15, 2006

YEAH I DRINK, SO SUE ME
posted by poppo at 10:52 AM on December 15, 2006

a play on the whole fifth thing ppl were doing above:

MY CLIENT GAVE ME THIS WHEN I SAID 'PLEAD THE FIFTH'
posted by poppo at 10:56 AM on December 15, 2006

HAVE YOU RECENTLY BEEN CHARGED WITH A DUI? CALL BB&W NOW!
posted by poppo at 10:58 AM on December 15, 2006

nineRed's is the best though
posted by poppo at 10:59 AM on December 15, 2006

"Take with Notice."

"Assumption of Risk"

"R.I.L. "/ "This thing speaks for itself."
posted by Phred182 at 11:05 AM on December 15, 2006

"Sips of Loquitor" -- a terrible pun on the legal term Res Ipsa Loquitor meaning "The thing speaks for itself.
posted by The Bellman at 11:07 AM on December 15, 2006

CARPE CEREVISIAM

(seize the beer)
posted by Schlimmbesserung at 11:07 AM on December 15, 2006

On lack of preview, Phred187 sort of beat me to it. Another possibility is "You are hereby served." Actually I kind of like that for a flask.
posted by The Bellman at 11:08 AM on December 15, 2006

Might be a bit long for a flask, but there is a nice legal, but non-drink related quotation from Iolanthe by Gilbert and Sullivan:

The Law is the true embodiment
Of everything that's excellent.
It has no kind of fault or flaw,
And I, my Lords, embody the Law.
posted by greycap at 11:27 AM on December 15, 2006

Oooh oooh how about: "Hard liquor makes bad law." (Play on the old legal aphorism "hard cases make bad law". This is fun!
posted by The Bellman at 11:32 AM on December 15, 2006

"Sips of Loquitor" -- a terrible pun on the legal term Res Ipsa Loquitor meaning "The thing speaks for itself.

Or "res tipsy loquitor?"
posted by saladpants at 11:39 AM on December 15, 2006

"The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers."
posted by chillmost at 11:42 AM on December 15, 2006

How about the criminal statute for open containers in your area?

§2112-A. Open container; drinking in a vehicle prohibited

etc
posted by electroboy at 11:58 AM on December 15, 2006

I'm going to vote for "You Are Hereby Served" as the best one so far.

I'm in law school, studying for finals and I can't think of any legal terms that play all that witty into the drinking thing.
posted by plaidrabbit at 12:32 PM on December 15, 2006

Yes, "You are hereby served" is awesome and would get my vote if I were voting.

If you want to try the pun on "fifth," though, I'd probably just stick with a simple "Plead the fifth" and not try to get too overly clever with it.
posted by occhiblu at 12:40 PM on December 15, 2006

What about:

"Justice for my friends, the LAW for my enemies"?

I tried to convince a friend at Stanford Law to make t-shirts of this but she did not find it too amusing. It is one of my favorite sig files.
posted by jadepearl at 12:43 PM on December 15, 2006

Hard liquor makes good law?

More latin:

Pro bono publico
In flagrante delicto
Amicus curiae
posted by lackutrol at 1:02 PM on December 15, 2006

IF YOU SEE ME DRINKING FROM THIS IN COURT, ASK THE JUDGE FOR A CHANGE OF COUNSEL
posted by savetheclocktower at 1:36 PM on December 15, 2006

Amicus curiae!

Ha!
posted by phrontist at 1:57 PM on December 15, 2006

AMBULANCE CHASING FUEL
posted by chococat at 2:26 PM on December 15, 2006

in vino veritas -- roughly, truth comes from alcohol.
posted by modernnomad at 2:54 PM on December 15, 2006

Thirding amicus curiae. I kind of like "we never pass a bar" too, but I don't think too many partners would be amused by that.
posted by AV at 2:55 PM on December 15, 2006

Or a play on "we never pass a bar": "We passed the bar once - never again!"
posted by jferg at 3:35 PM on December 15, 2006

To recycle a joke used elsewhere (hi 3wa!): Topless Bar Association.
posted by wildeepdotorg at 8:03 PM on December 15, 2006

On one side - "Not Guilty"
Other side - "Just a little guilty"
posted by JujuB at 11:42 PM on December 15, 2006