I don't feel like dancing.

December 3, 2006 1:30 PM

What are some catchy "danceable" songs about not wanting to dance?

I'm trying to help my friend with a project. What are some recent good, catchy songs about dancing, or more importantly not dancing?

Here's what I have:

I Don't Feel Like Dancing by The Scissor Sisters.
W.A.Y.U.H (People don't dance no more) by The Rapture
The first part of Robochacha by Kid Koala.

What else do you guys recommend?

PS I'm NOT using Safety Dance. Sorry.

posted by Telf to sports, hobbies, & recreation (36 comments total)

There's that George Michael song where he claims that he's never gonna dance again, but I don't know what it's called.
posted by interrobang at 1:34 PM on December 3, 2006

I've sort of always liked Instant Club Hit (You'll Dance to Anything) by the Dead Milkmen. It's sort of danceable and very funny if you're not a super dancer type.
posted by jessamyn at 1:34 PM on December 3, 2006

!!! (chk chk chk) have a song abou the cabaret laws here in NYC called "Me and Giuliani Down By the School Yard".
posted by josher71 at 1:35 PM on December 3, 2006

A Praise Chorus by Jimmy Eat World
posted by grouse at 1:36 PM on December 3, 2006

"I can't dance; I got ants in my pants."

posted by KRS at 1:36 PM on December 3, 2006

Blame it on the Boogie - Jackson Five
posted by vizsla at 1:44 PM on December 3, 2006

Playgirl by Ladytron.
posted by subtle-t at 1:46 PM on December 3, 2006

I Won't Dance by Frank Sinatra (or any number of crooners, really).
posted by mewithoutyou at 1:49 PM on December 3, 2006

Kompressor Does Not Dance
posted by Nedroid at 1:49 PM on December 3, 2006

I Can't Dance by Gram Parsons
posted by jbickers at 1:58 PM on December 3, 2006

This is good stuff guys keep it coming.

Yeah! Kompressor! I knew I was forgetting that.
posted by Telf at 1:58 PM on December 3, 2006

The Dismemberment Plan did a great song about kids at rock shows who don't dance called Doing The Standing Still.
posted by toddshot at 1:59 PM on December 3, 2006

"We Can't Dance," by Genesis, is relevant, I suppose, but kinda awful.

"The Lonely Passion of Joey Heatherton" (.mp3 link) by the incomparable Prickly (here rerecorded by their successor band, Shumai), has "I can't dance at your thousand-dollar wedding" as the chorus.

Slightly farther off but maybe usable is Fountains of Wayne's "Please Don't Rock me Tonight."

"Safety Dance," by the way, is surely PRO-dancing, anyway..?
posted by escabeche at 2:09 PM on December 3, 2006

interrobang: There's that George Michael song...

That's Careless Whisper ... which I thought was a Wham! song, but it turns out it was a solo George Michael song from 1984 right in the midst of Wham's heyday. Oddly, the other half of Wham! (Andrew Ridgeley) shares writer's credit on the song -- even though he apparently didn't write any of Wham's songs.
posted by Doofus Magoo at 2:26 PM on December 3, 2006

I Don't Wanna Dance by Split Enz is all I could think of. Your idea of "catchiness" may vary, though now I've got it stuck in my head.
posted by Devils Rancher at 2:32 PM on December 3, 2006

"Disco Dancer" by Devo
"Dancin' Fool" by Frank Zappa
posted by rhizome at 2:34 PM on December 3, 2006

I don't wanna Dance by Eddie Grant is quite cool.
posted by rongorongo at 2:37 PM on December 3, 2006

Sir Nose D'Voidoffunk (Pay Attention-B3M) by Parliament Funkadelic.
Lyrics:

I am Sir Nose'd
D'Voidoffunk
I have always been
Devoid of funk
I shall continue to be
Devoid of funk
Starchild
You have only won a battle
I am the subliminal seducer
I will never dance
I shall return, Starchild
posted by Demogorgon at 2:44 PM on December 3, 2006

"The Last Days of Disco" by Yo La Tengo is a beautiful song, but I guess calling it "danceable" would be sort of a stretch.

"Mystery Dance" by Elvis Costello is about not getting it. Dancing is a euphemism for sex here.

"No Parking on the Dance Floor" by Midnight Star is a warning to people who aren't dancing.

"One Little Dance" by The Moovers is about getting turned down. It can be found on the amazing Eclectic Soul: The Deep City Label compilation.

Demogorgon beat me to it, but Sir Nose D'Voidoffunk is a recurring character in Parliament/Funkedelic songs. He's the living embodiment of anti-funk; he doesn't dance, or even swim. See "Aqua Boogie (A Psychoalphadiscobetabioaquadoloop)", "Sir Nose D'Voidoffunk" (youtube), and many, many more.
posted by hydrophonic at 3:06 PM on December 3, 2006

Don't forget Flashlight!
posted by bink at 3:08 PM on December 3, 2006

Lady Sovereign's "Love Me or Hate Me" (youtube link) features a bridge where she sings "I can't dance and I can't sing"

... here a few that are about dancing, but involve the unwilling:

Madonna's Into The Groove (youtube) is about a person who dances trying to get someone who doesn't dance out on the floor. The live version from her new album features a friggin' bagpipe intro.. I'm just saying (youtube).

Madonna's "Now I'm following you", (youtube) is about dancing with someone who can't dance, same album that Vogue came off of, sounds kinda dated now. On the album the slow part & the "remix" part that follow are two different tracks.

And according to Slangcity, YingYang Twins' "Shake it like a salt shaker" includes lyrics which deplore people who do not make use of a good song.

We ain't no boys we grown men/
If you ain't gon' dance well don't then/
Why you wanna waste a nigga song then/
See your ass down doing nothing

posted by aristan at 3:33 PM on December 3, 2006

Devils Rancher beat me to the Split Enz suggestion, and now I have it stuck in my head, too.
posted by scody at 3:36 PM on December 3, 2006

Seconding Jessamyn's Dead Milkmen reference and has no one mentioned Genesis' "I Can't Dance"?
posted by Rock Steady at 4:30 PM on December 3, 2006

'Your Feet's Too Big' by innumerable performers; Fats Waller's is the best but impress your friends by tracking down the Beatles' version.
There are a half-dozen different songs called 'Two Left Feet'. I only know the ones Cannonball Adderly and Richard Thompson have done, and they're both appropriate.
posted by ardgedee at 5:27 PM on December 3, 2006

The Ben Folds/Rufus Wainwright cover of Careless Whisper that they perform when touring together is one of my favorite tunes.

/Folds Fanboy Mild Derail
posted by Kwine at 5:40 PM on December 3, 2006

Lean Back?

Yeah, I got nothin'.
posted by mazatec at 6:54 PM on December 3, 2006

There is a gabber song by Johnny Violent/Ultraviolent that has the line "dead on the dance floor/shot up with an X/[something something]" about hating ravers. I haven't listened to it in probably a decade and can't find the album. Sorry.
posted by Falconetti at 8:59 PM on December 3, 2006

I feel old, because I am the only one to think of Leo Sayer's "Long Tall Glasses":

And somebody grabbed me
Threw me out of my chair
Said "before you can eat
You gotta dance like fred astaire"
You know I can't dance
I can't dance
I am a man of the road
A hobo by name
I don't seek entertainment
Just poultry and game

(Hey, it's catchy!)
posted by TochterAusElysium at 9:15 PM on December 3, 2006

Long Tall Glasses was the FIRST song that came to mind for me.
posted by faceonmars at 9:41 PM on December 3, 2006

Anavan - Mingle (it's on the myspace page). More about convincing someone to "get down on the dancefloor." It's funny, and danceable.
posted by ruby.aftermath at 11:14 PM on December 3, 2006

Brandtson's "Nobody Dances Anymore."
posted by gennessee at 6:00 AM on December 4, 2006

Goodie Mob - "They Don't Dance No Mo". I wouldn't necessarily dance to it, but you could.

The relevant chorus: "People¹ don't dance no more², all they do is this³...all they do is this...all they do is this."

¹ - In the uncensored album version, of course, this would be another, more colorful word.
² - I'll bet you a dollar that the Rapture stole this line.
³ - the "this" is accompanied with an appropriately half-hearted boogie motion. Sort of like what we do on the west coast nowadays.

I'll definitely attest to its catchiness though.
posted by dihutenosa at 6:39 AM on December 4, 2006

"Waiting for Slow Songs" by Sloan is about not dancing, at least in part.
posted by Johnny Assay at 7:27 AM on December 4, 2006

Joe Tex - "Ain't gonna bump no more (With no big fat woman)".

Tina Charles - "I love to love".

Wham - "Wake me up before you go-go":

"Cuddle up, baby, move in tight
We'll go dancing tomorrow night
It's cold out there, but it's warm in bed
They can dance, we'll stay home instead"

...and if you consider songs about not wanting your mother to dance, the classic "Please don't go topless, Mother", by Troy Hess.

"...the Cliff's Notes version of the plot is basically "four-year-old boy begs his stripper mom to stay home from work, keep her shirt on, and start going to church."
posted by iviken at 8:08 AM on December 4, 2006

"I Can't Dance (To That Music You're Playin')"
by Martha & the Vandellas

(not sure how hard/easy this would be to dance to)
posted by Rash at 8:44 AM on December 4, 2006

Great stuff. Thanks guys. I've been able to find and listen to most of these songs. There's some good stuff here. Even the songs that won't work for what I'm doing were still good.

For posterity I also thought of Dance Commander by Electric 6.
posted by Telf at 8:45 AM on December 4, 2006