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November 29, 2006 7:48 PM

do men and women get the same amount of pleasure from anal sex?

this is an exceedingly weird question but i've often wondered how male and female orgasms compare (what feels better) and it seems to me that if both men and women experience anal sex in the same way that might be a useful benchmark from which to compare the other climactic moments

posted by petsounds to human relations (23 comments total)

feel free to moderate this question for being too weird
posted by petsounds at 7:48 PM on November 29, 2006

Generally it's speculated that the male prostate gland, which has a lot of sensory innervation in its capsule, contributes some of the pleasant experience for a man receiving anal sex.

Your question, of course, can't be answered. In order to answer it we'd need to ask someone who had experienced anal sex both as a man and as a woman. I think for the purposes of structural comparisons of anatomy, transsexuals aren't qualified to comment on the more general case, for obvious reasons.
posted by ikkyu2 at 7:52 PM on November 29, 2006

Men have a prostate. That in itself is sufficient to make the experience different enough that there is probably little left to compare. *shrug*
posted by Ynoxas at 7:53 PM on November 29, 2006

Generally it's speculated that the male prostate gland...contributes some of the pleasant experience for a man receiving anal sex.

There's really no "speculation" about it; pressure on the prostate feels wonderful in ways other parts of the male body don't, which is why prostate pleasure is so widely reported among guys - gay or straight - who engage in some kind of anal stimulation. But I've also known a couple of women who reported more pleasure from anal sex than vaginal sex. Fewer than the men, but there's still plenty of pleasure to be had back there, they tell me.

Comfort and pleasure vary so widely from person to person that it's really hard to generalize about stuff like this, let alone estimate and compare "amounts" of pleasure between different people. But the presence of the prostate in men makes it a good bet that what men experience will feel at least somewhat different from what women experience from anal sex.
posted by mediareport at 8:05 PM on November 29, 2006

More info about pleasurable stimulation of the prostate, which can be done from outside the body by putting pressure on various points of the perineum/taint until you find the right spot (and you will). A lot of guys can have an orgasm just from that kind of outside stimulation, although it often feels better when the pressure comes from inside.

(Oh, and this is not that weird a question, really.)
posted by mediareport at 8:17 PM on November 29, 2006

This is pure speculation, but I suspect that no small amount of the pleasure for women during anal sex comes from the excitement of doing something "bad", and the happiness in giving a guy something that she thinks is coveted by straight males (which, strangely enough, it seems to be). And I also suspect that many (but not all) women who profess to really enjoy it don't actually enjoy it as much as they claim to-- I have a hunch that they understand that their willingness to have anal sex is perceived as a boost to their sex appeal, and so they just play along. I'm sure for them it is interesting, maybe fun, maybe even (for some) genuinely physically pleasurable-- though considering that they don't have the prostate, I think it's likely that it's consistently more physically pleasurable for men.

Just my opinion.
posted by hermitosis at 8:35 PM on November 29, 2006

There's really no "speculation" about it; pressure on the prostate feels wonderful in ways other parts of the male body don't, which is why prostate pleasure is so widely reported among guys - gay or straight - who engage in some kind of anal stimulation.

Huh? Speaking as a man who has had three -- yes, three prostate exams this year, I can report that the only thing I felt when I had that doc's finger up my ass doing the hambone on my prostate was the overwhelming urge to shit that finger out. So this wonderful feeling you speak of is hell-and-gone from being some kind of universal phenomenon.

I say this as a completely secure heterosexual, friend to gay men worldwide, and dude who feels flattered when other dudes hit on him: the only thing I felt when having my prostate massaged was discomfort. Literally no physical pleasure at all. But that's why Baskin Robbins has 31 flavors.
posted by middleclasstool at 8:42 PM on November 29, 2006

Middleclass, there's also a considerable situational/mental/emotional difference at work too, no?
posted by craven_morhead at 9:00 PM on November 29, 2006

I think that the g-spot is as easily stimulated through the ass as the prostate, and that g-spot stimulation is more universally enjoyed. I suspect that the kinds of anal stimulation men and women tend to get are different, and that the men who opt for any kind of butt sex are a more self-selecting group than the women (I mean that many women get the offer, and a certain number give it a try, whereas the men getting stuff up the butt are on average more actively into the idea).

So I think it's very, very hard to compare, but I'd guess that for identical types of stimulation, the sensation probably isn't all that different.
posted by crabintheocean at 9:07 PM on November 29, 2006

Sorry, middleclasstool; I didn't mean to imply that *all* pressure on the prostate resulted in orgasmic pleasure. I've had rectal exams, too, without sexual pleasure, so you're not alone in that. I assumed we were talking about sexual situations, which makes a huge difference in how we receive and process sensory information from that area, as craven_morhead points out.
posted by mediareport at 9:33 PM on November 29, 2006

Huh? Speaking as a man who has had three -- yes, three prostate exams this year, I can report that the only thing I felt when I had that doc's finger up my ass doing the hambone on my prostate was the overwhelming urge to shit that finger out. So this wonderful feeling you speak of is hell-and-gone from being some kind of universal phenomenon.


Yeah, and when I had my pre-college physical and my doctor grabbed my nuts to demonstrate how to do a testicular exam, it was uncomfortable as hell (psychologically, not physically, other than the cold hands), but in other situations ...
posted by spaceman_spiff at 9:59 PM on November 29, 2006

Just a minute! Ever hear of the Female Prostate?

The next guy who says "Only Men Have Prostates" gets female ejaculate in the eye!

I grant that the stimulation of a female prostate is less direct during anal sex for a woman than prostate stimulation is for a man, but that's not necessarily a negative, and as long as that same female prostate is wired to the clitoris, which it is, I think we may still give men a run for their money in this race.

middleclasstool: Believing your prostate cannot be pleasured because you've only touched the thing in exams is pitiable!! That's what women who don't masturbate say!

on preview: what spaceman_spiff said.
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 10:32 PM on November 29, 2006

hermitosis: I find it compelling that the woman you hypothesize is the sort of objectivied, sexually dependent (fake boobed, screeching, whatever porn stereotype) girl people I know are turned off to anal sex for fear of seeming to be like!
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 10:36 PM on November 29, 2006 [1 favorite]

I always understood that the nerves on the floor/or roof of the first inch or so of the vagina were stimulated by the other way in. Not much flesh between the two entrances or "tubes"
posted by A189Nut at 11:51 PM on November 29, 2006

It'd be sooo tempting to say "Only Men Have Prostates"...
posted by badlydubbedboy at 1:54 AM on November 30, 2006

The post-op transsexuals I've asked about this invariably say it's (sex in all forms, that is) better as the sex they've become, for what that's worth. I think anal, oral, or any other sex feels best when you're comfortable in your own skin, whether you're male or female.

That said (and getting away from the TSes), men have prostates, and women can get a great deal of vaginal stimulation from anal sex (and are more likely to be multiorgasmic if they can orgasm from anal sex or we're including scenarios in which the passive partner can self-stimulate, which would imply greater sustained pleasure to me)
posted by Cricket at 2:22 AM on November 30, 2006

Here's lookin' at you, badlydubbedboy

*SQUIRT*
posted by wemayfreeze at 2:30 AM on November 30, 2006

Huh? Speaking as a man who has had three -- yes, three prostate exams this year, I can report that the only thing I felt when I had that doc's finger up my ass doing the hambone on my prostate was the overwhelming urge to shit that finger out. So this wonderful feeling you speak of is hell-and-gone from being some kind of universal phenomenon.

Isn't that suggesting that women must find gynaecological exams exciting and pleasureable? Also - my partner touches me anywhere near my genitals - BOING - a doctor does the same, and nothing (thankfully). It's the mood you're in and who is doing it to you that makes all the difference.
posted by tomble at 3:35 AM on November 30, 2006

In the "Girl's Guide to 21st Century Sex" that was posted to the blue a few days ago, the host mentions that women can have 3 kinds of orgasms: clitoral, g-spot, and anal. So if it can cause orgasm...

can't believe I'm posting this...
posted by IndigoRain at 5:32 AM on November 30, 2006

This is pure speculation, but I suspect that no small amount of the pleasure for women during anal sex comes from the excitement of doing something "bad"

Hey, hermitosis: Anal sex feels good. The wall that divides the vagina and the anal cavities is thin and rich in sensitive nerve endings. I like it because it feel good, not because of any kinked-out belief that it's naughty or men will find me more desirable. Be told.

Also worth noting is that, in women, stimulation to the g-spot, the vagina and the anus (and in some lucky girls the nipples, too) all produce orgasms that feel very different. They're all good, but have nuances that set them apart. I imagine that it's very similar with male and female anal orgasms. Different, but still good.
posted by Jilder at 6:22 AM on November 30, 2006

Jilder and IndigoRain have it spot on. For those who are relaxed and comfortable enough in their own skin to really experiment with anal sex actually DO enjoy it, more often than not. It's the relaxed part, IMHO, that's particularly important, because if you're all stressed and tense, you're more likely to get hurt.

And yeah, three (or four) completely different flavors of orgasm, dependant on what's being stimulated. Anal is similar to g-spot, both rather full-body, but the former can be far more intense. Clitoral is more centralized, localized. Nipples... ahem. I'm digressing, aren't I?

Really, it's all about the nerves - where they are, how they're bundled, etc. etc. - and the flexibility of what they're attached to. Yeah, brain = most sensitive sex organ.
posted by Adelwolf at 9:45 AM on November 30, 2006 [1 favorite]

The next guy who says "Only Men Have Prostates" gets female ejaculate in the eye!

Is this a one-time offer, or is there a limit?
posted by vanoakenfold at 11:30 PM on November 30, 2006

Huh? Speaking as a man who has had three -- yes, three prostate exams this year, I can report that the only thing I felt when I had that doc's finger up my ass doing the hambone on my prostate was the overwhelming urge to shit that finger out. So this wonderful feeling you speak of is hell-and-gone from being some kind of universal phenomenon.

o rly?
posted by petsounds at 8:51 PM on December 1, 2006