Comments on: How do I eat crusty bread?

Question: How do I eat crusty bread?

grouse — Sun, 26 Nov 2006 10:42:23 -0800

How do I eat crusty bread or other crumbly items like crackers without getting a big crumbly mess all over the table?

Also, is it correct that one ought to tear bite-size pieces of bread off a roll rather than biting off a chunk?

By: matteo

matteo — Sun, 26 Nov 2006 10:50:33 -0800

Lightly dip them in water/wine/milk.

Yes.

By: the cuban

the cuban — Sun, 26 Nov 2006 10:56:25 -0800

Chew with your mouth closed.

No.

By: tastybrains

tastybrains — Sun, 26 Nov 2006 11:01:16 -0800

Eat them / tear pieces off over a plate.

Yes.

By: MonkeySaltedNuts

MonkeySaltedNuts — Sun, 26 Nov 2006 11:01:48 -0800

In France they have these things call waiters that brush the crumbs off the table cloth inbetween courses.

yes

By: rxrfrx

rxrfrx — Sun, 26 Nov 2006 11:22:31 -0800

Fine restaurants in the US also clean crumbs off the table between courses.

Yes.

By: EndsOfInvention

EndsOfInvention — Sun, 26 Nov 2006 11:22:55 -0800

Uh, this is what plates are for.

Depends.

By: unrepentanthippie

unrepentanthippie — Sun, 26 Nov 2006 11:29:30 -0800

If you live alone, you can eat over the sink.
(That's not a snark; I ate over the sink for years.)

By: grouse

grouse — Sun, 26 Nov 2006 11:37:16 -0800

Thanks for the snark, the cuban. The crumbliness happens when I am tearing the bread apart, not when I put it in my mouth.

I know waiters in some fine restaurants will brush the crumbs off the table between courses. But some dining establishments do not do this, and I'd rather make as small a mess as possible.

Uh, this is what plates are for.

Hmmm, maybe I should do my tearing closer to the plate.

EndsOfInvention: What does it depend on?

By: grouse

grouse — Sun, 26 Nov 2006 11:42:14 -0800

I should also mention that this isn't really a problem with a normal-sized plate, but it is when I have a tiny little bread plate.

By: found missing

found missing — Sun, 26 Nov 2006 11:43:58 -0800

I might be tempted to point out that crumbs on a table are to be expected when eating crumbly foods, or that your question perhaps signals that all the legitimate questions have already been asked and that we have now reached a new low, but I won't since you asked how to eat these foods and still have a crumb-free table. You can't, unless you engage in the impolite behaviors of either dipping your food in liquids, stuffing them whole into your mouth, or bringing along your pet rodent, skippy, to patrol the table for morsels.

I'll vote yes, unless you are in a culture where it is impolite to touch your food with both hands.

By: plokent

plokent — Sun, 26 Nov 2006 11:52:51 -0800

Here is a video of how to eat bread at a formal dinner table. Here is another version in text.

By: the cuban

the cuban — Sun, 26 Nov 2006 11:53:01 -0800

I should also mention that this isn't really a problem with a normal-sized plate

Then stop using wee plates.

By: EndsOfInvention

EndsOfInvention — Sun, 26 Nov 2006 11:53:03 -0800

EndsOfInvention: What does it depend on?

On reflection I'm going to agree totally with found missing's hilarious comment.

By: wryly

wryly — Sun, 26 Nov 2006 11:57:15 -0800

Bread: Gently tear off a piece over a plate -- then lightly tap the broken-off piece on the plate. (Tearing results in fewer flying particles than breaking.) No plate? Use a napkin. No plate, and your only napkin is in your lap? Break the bread over the bread basket, or reserve a spot on the tablecloth for crumbs.

Crackers: same approaches as above. And if you're having cheese and crackers, gently break off a bite-sized piece of the cracker before adding cheese. If the host has already placed a slice of cheese on a cracker that's too big to eat whole, you might have to live with flying crumbs.

At my high school, we had a mid-morning saltines-and-milk snack every day; thus my great expertise. Look for my book, "Something Wicked This Way: Crumbs."

By: thetenthstory

thetenthstory — Sun, 26 Nov 2006 12:11:35 -0800

Usually a loaf of bread will come in a basket. It is best to tear off your slice of bread over the basket or take the dinner roll and place it on your dish. Do not cut bread with your knife, it should be broken or torn. If the butter is in a communal dish, place enough to lightly butter your roll and put it on your plate. Please do not reach for anything across someone. Please do not butter your roll directly from the communal dish. Tear the bread over your dish to the size of about two bites, then butter.

Personally, when I am out with employees or clients I can tell how the rest of their manner's will be depending on how they treat their bread. Proper etiquette can foreshadow things to come. I do not worry so much about the etiquette of crumbs as I do other manners.

Another rule with bread: Do not take it and rub it in your sauce. I like to reserve that one for family and friends.

By: furtive

furtive — Sun, 26 Nov 2006 12:30:54 -0800

Thank you for this post as someone took my breadplate last evening and I felt compelled to do the same.

By: Lyn Never

Lyn Never — Sun, 26 Nov 2006 12:36:56 -0800

For crackers, take your bite and then discretely put your tongue against the bitten edge before you remove the rest of the cracker from your mouth. Your tongue will catch most of the crumbs that would fall off otherwise.

This is particularly handy in a cocktail situation where you've got a plate in one hand and no other way to pre-break the cracker.

By: wryly

wryly — Sun, 26 Nov 2006 16:26:53 -0800

Lyn Never, that's an advanced technique. I salue you.

By: wryly

wryly — Sun, 26 Nov 2006 16:27:21 -0800

And also salute.

By: Meatbomb

Meatbomb — Sun, 26 Nov 2006 18:47:16 -0800

Another rule with bread: Do not take it and rub it in your sauce. I like to reserve that one for family and friends.

Please ignore the advice from someone who so obviously doesn't like food.

There is not a correct way to eat bread.

By: peep

peep — Sun, 26 Nov 2006 20:49:52 -0800

Another rule with bread: Do not take it and rub it in your sauce. I like to reserve that one for family and friends.

I was at lunch with a client once, and when she was done eating, she took a piece of bread and sopped up her entire plate and then ate the bread.

And then she lifted her plate and LICKED IT CLEAN. This is a true story.

By: JujuB

JujuB — Mon, 27 Nov 2006 21:37:39 -0800

When you are finished dining and the waiter has collected the dishes from the table but neglects (or gets sidetracked getting your coffee order) to brush the crumbs from the now plateless table. It is permissible to flip over the corner of the top layer tablecloth (triangle piece pointing to your lap) to give your self a crumbless place to rest your hands.

I am assuming the restaurent has double tablecloths.