Comments on: Cards with pictures of dogs or babies wearing hats are stupid.

Question: Cards with pictures of dogs or babies wearing hats are stupid.

EnormousTalkingOnion — Mon, 13 Nov 2006 14:50:44 -0800

Help me come up with a legitimately funny company Christmas card.

We always send out Christmas cards (sorry - "holiday" cards) to our clients, which are mostly high-tech startup companies. The prevailing idea for this year's card is really stupid and unfunny - I want to propose something clever, or, failing that, stupid but funny to replace it with. Anything that incorporates the trials and tribulations of high-tech start-ups, venture capital, the tech bubble, or Silicon Valley culture is a plus, but general sarcasm and wise-assery is good too. Any ideas? Let's put that famous MeFi snark to good use!

By: genghis

genghis — Mon, 13 Nov 2006 15:07:15 -0800

Santa, we don't think you're going to recoup those costs just by running Google Ads on your sled.

By: genghis

genghis — Mon, 13 Nov 2006 15:15:52 -0800

Sewageprocessingcompany.com just raised $5m from an assortment of VCs for a venture involving user-generated content.

Conversely, Paul Graham reckons four students can put something just as good together by working in their own bathroom for $8000.

By: genghis

genghis — Mon, 13 Nov 2006 15:17:35 -0800

Do these have to be funny or can I just keep venting hate?

By: dirtynumbangelboy

dirtynumbangelboy — Mon, 13 Nov 2006 15:46:50 -0800

How about an enormous disclaimer in legalese, explaining that you hope no offence is taken because of the card?

Think about it.. you'd need protection from offending:
- Christians (for commercializing the holiday?)
- Jews (for not mentioning Hanukkah?)
- Muslims (Ramadan)
- Pagans (double-whammy; not mentiong Yule AND Christmas is Yule co-opted anyway)
- For that matter, Romans--Christmas co-opted Saturnalia too
- Environmentalists (omg cards made of TREES)

etc.

Any lawyer could legalese up at least a card's worth of text. Bonus points for making it a single sentence.

By: amtho

amtho — Mon, 13 Nov 2006 16:03:29 -0800

Tell us about your company; that might help generate ideas. What does it do?

By: EnormousTalkingOnion

EnormousTalkingOnion — Mon, 13 Nov 2006 17:23:30 -0800

It's in the marketing/PR space, so ideally it would be something that makes fun of marketing doublespeak, products in beta that never get finished, glowing superlatives about minor features, things like that.

By: wendell

wendell — Mon, 13 Nov 2006 19:31:27 -0800

Santa 2.0. With Java (or other coffee to keep him awake all night), user-defined reindeer and Ruby on Rails implementation of red suit in sled. Imagine the elf icons.

By: dirtynumbangelboy

dirtynumbangelboy — Mon, 13 Nov 2006 20:07:46 -0800

EnormousTalkingOnion writes "It's in the marketing/PR space, so ideally it would be something that makes fun of marketing doublespeak, products in beta that never get finished, glowing superlatives about minor features, things like that."

Oh easy. Turn it into a marketing piece for your new line of Non-Denominational Recycled Midwinter (Northern Hemisphere) Card Items.

By: Quietgal

Quietgal — Mon, 13 Nov 2006 21:00:14 -0800

I always liked the blackly sardonic twist on happy marketingspeak that these guys put in their (de)motivational posters. Perhaps you could get some inspiration from their style? (Although their stuff may be a little too bleak for the "happiest time of the year".)

By: Pollomacho

Pollomacho — Mon, 13 Nov 2006 22:25:17 -0800

"We value your participation in our organization"

In black letters on manila paper.

By: mdonley

mdonley — Tue, 14 Nov 2006 03:54:50 -0800

New Yorker cartoons?

By: rob511

rob511 — Tue, 14 Nov 2006 14:54:50 -0800

How about "mistakenly" sending your clients an internal brief for doing just this kind of promo holiday mailing? Make sure the brief includes lots of descriptive and graphic overkill*, and append a routing slip and lots of silly edits and comments by various staff members.
*along the lines of the spoof Microsoft version of the iPod package