preggers ex asks for then spurns advice
November 10, 2006 7:28 AM Subscribe
My ex recently found out she was pregnant. She asked for my advice, then when I gave it, became bitter and told me to sod off. Was I right?
posted by anonymous to human relations (28 answers total) 1 user marked this as a favorite
I broke up with her six months ago. It wasn't a very friendly parting, considering that I drew the line when she turned physically violent. Her rebound, it turned out, was a married man whose wife was pregnant. Now she's pregnant, and re-initiated contact by asking me for advice after the new "bf" denied any responsibility.
She could have been a character straight out of a Ken Loach film, and given her dubious financial future, and the fact that she was going to try to raise this mixed-race child in Northern England, my advice to her was to abort the fetus, giving the above as reasons for the sake of the child.
She became bitter and told me to never contact her or her family again (after first apologizing for re-initiating contact), breaking off an 8-year relationship.
-she's pushing thirty
-she's white (British), the father East Asian
-she came to this (East Asian) country at my behest to attempt "one last try" which ended as described above
-she's never been married nor had been pregnant before
My mixed feelings:
-good riddance! It was a train wreck waiting to happen, and the more distance from me the better
-guilt: I should have understood how alone she was here, and couched my advice in more understanding terms
-guilt: I should have understood her desire to have a kid, and encouraged her positively
-guilt: I let my own feelings get in the way, and only saw her as a "Ken Loach" character rather than being more understanding
Did I do the right thing? Is there anything I should try to do now? Should I forget and move on? Should I call Ken Loach?