Ewwww, Gross!

October 25, 2006 10:41 AM

Seeking creepy kids' camp songs for Halloween bonfire.

I'm helping with a Halloween event by hanging out by the bonfire with my geetar, leading spooky-ish and/or gross-out songs with kids and families. I'm looking for song suggestions -- things on the order of "Great Green Gobs of Greasy Grimy Gopher Guts," "The Cat Came Back," etc. Any ideas?

posted by Miko to grab bag (16 comments total)

The Worms Crawl In, the Worms Crawl Out.
posted by scratch at 10:48 AM on October 25, 2006

There's an old McDonald's jingle and we loved the gross-out parody of it:

McDonald's is your kind of place! Hamburgers in your face! Pickles between your toes! French fries right up your nose! And don't forget those triple-thick shakes! Made out of polluted lakes! McDonald's is your kiiiind of plaaaaace!"

Also, "I'm Bringing Home a Baby Bumblebee," (I think that link has music).
posted by GaelFC at 10:55 AM on October 25, 2006

Have you heard the song, "Don't You ever Laugh as a Hearse Drives By"? It might be a little TOO frightening for young ones, but I used to love that song when I was a kid - as I recall, the lyrics came from an Alvin Schwartz book, and I remember listening to it on tape (perhaps some sort of Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark audio tape) back in 1993, although I can't find any mention of it on amazon.

On preview, it's essentially the same song that scratch linked to. Damn.
posted by muddgirl at 10:57 AM on October 25, 2006

Oh, and I almost forgot the Misfits' eternal classic "Brain Eaters." You might need to bowdlerize it for the families, though:

Hey hey hey

Brains for dinner
Brains for lunch
Brains for breakfast
Brains for brunch
Brains at every single meal
Why can't we have some guts
Hey hey hey

Brains are all we ever get
In this rotten fuckin' place, hey hey
Brains are all we ever get
Why can't we have a change of pace

Brains for dinner
Brains for lunch
Brains for breakfast
Brains for brunch
Brains at every single meal
Why can't we have some guts, hey hey

Why can't we have some guts, hey hey
Why can't we have some fuckin' rotten guts
Hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey
posted by scratch at 11:37 AM on October 25, 2006

Great big gobs of greasy grimy gopher guts
Mutilated monkey feet
chopped up baby parakeet
French fried eyeballs floating in a bloody bowl
Too bad, forgot my spoon.
posted by routergirl at 11:56 AM on October 25, 2006

Have you see the ghost of John,
Long white bones with his skin all gooonne,
Oooooh ooooooooooooh,
Wouldn't it be chilly with no skin on?

(That one's a little short, but it stuck with me.)
posted by nekton at 12:36 PM on October 25, 2006

Rickety Tickety Tin:

About a maid I'll sing a song ……… sing rickety tickety tin
About a maid I'll sing a song who didn't have her family long
Not only did she do them wrong,
She did very one of them in, them in, she did every one of them in

Her mother she could never stand ……… sing rickety tickety tin
He mother she could never stand and so a cyanide soup she planned
The mother died with a spoon in her hand,
And her face in a hideous grin, a grin, her face in a hideous grin

One morning in a fit of pique……… sing rickety tickety tin
One morning in a fit of pique she pushed her father in the creek
the water tasted bad for a week, and we had to make do with gin,
with gin, we had to make do with gin.

She set her sister's hair on fire ……… sing rickety tickety tin
She set her sister's hair on fire and as the smoke and flames rose higher
She danced around the funeral pyre, playing a violin, 'olin, playing a violin

She weighted her bother down with stones
She weighted her bother down with stones abd sent him off to Davy Jones
All they ever found were some bones and occasional pieces of skin,
of skin, ocasional pieces of skin

One day when she had nothing to do……… sing rickety tickety tin
One day when she had nothing to do she cut her baby brother in two
And served him up as an irish stew, and invited the neighbours in,
'bours in, invited the neighbours in

And when at last the police came by……… sing rickety tickety tin
And when at last the police came by her little pranks she did not deny
For to do so she would have had to lie, and lying she knew was a sin,
a sin, lying she knew was a sin

My tragic tale I won't prolong……… sing rickety tickety tin
My tragic tale I won't prolong and if you do not enjoy my song
You've yourself to blame if it's too long, you should never have let me begin, begin ,
you should never have let me begin
posted by anonymous78 at 12:41 PM on October 25, 2006

There Was an Old Lady

There was an old lady who swallowed a fly.
I don't know why she swallowed that fly.
Perhaps she'll die!

There was an old lady who swallowed a spider.
That wriggled and wiggled and tickled inside her.
She swallowed the spider to catch the fly.
But, I don't know why she swallowed that fly.
Perhaps she'll die!

There was an old lady who swallowed a bird.
How absurd! She swallowed a bird!
She swallowed the bird to catch the spider
That wriggled and wiggled and tickled inside her.
She swallowed the spider to catch the fly.
But, I don't know why she swallowed that fly.
Perhaps she'll die!

There was an old lady who swallowed a cat.
Imagine that! She swallowed a cat!
She swallowed the cat to catch the bird.
She swallowed the bird to catch the spider
That wriggled and wiggled and tickled inside her.
She swallowed the spider to catch the fly.
But, I don't know why she swallowed that fly.
Perhaps she'll die!

There was an old lady who swallowed a dog.
What a hog! She swallowed a dog!
She swallowed the dog to catch the cat.
She swallowed the cat to catch the bird.
She swallowed the bird to catch the spider
That wriggled and wiggled and tickled inside her.
She swallowed the spider to catch the fly.
But, I don't know why she swallowed that fly.
Perhaps she'll die!

There was an old lady who swallowed a goat.
Just opened her throat and swallowed that goat!
She swallowed the goat to catch the dog.
She swallowed the dog to catch the cat.
She swallowed the cat to catch the bird.
She swallowed the bird to catch the spider
That wriggled and wiggled and tickled inside her.
She swallowed the spider to catch the fly.
But, I don't know why she swallowed that fly.
Perhaps she'll die!

There was an old lady who swallowed a cow.
I don't know how she swallowed that cow!
She swallowed the cow to catch the goat.
She swallowed the goat to catch the dog.
She swallowed the dog to catch the cat.
She swallowed the cat to catch the bird.
She swallowed the bird to catch the spider
That wriggled and wiggled and tickled inside her.
She swallowed the spider to catch the fly.
But, I don't know why she swallowed that fly.
Perhaps she'll die!

There was an old lady who swallowed a horse.
She died, of course!
posted by ObscureReferenceMan at 1:27 PM on October 25, 2006

Like nekton, I remember a little snippet from M*A*S*H, where Hawkeye, Trapper and Hot Lips are all drunk, they do a little skat/sing:

Come on in,
Take off your skin,
And rattle around in your bones!
posted by ObscureReferenceMan at 1:34 PM on October 25, 2006

The Cat Came Back the Very Next Day has always been really creepy to me.

And if you're reading anything, you can do some Robert Service, like the Cremation of Sam McGee.
posted by LobsterMitten at 2:21 PM on October 25, 2006

Goblinville.com has some more listed under scarols.
Here's one that starts out "I'm looking over my dead dog rover...(sung to the tune of I'm looking over a four leaf clover) at scoutarama.com. It looks like they have lots of songs for scouts.
posted by BoscosMom at 3:21 PM on October 25, 2006

If you've ever seen the cult film Lemora, the tune, "There was an old woman of skin and bone ..." was pretty creepy.
posted by adipocere at 5:22 PM on October 25, 2006

"Ghost of John" is my favorite scary Halloween song! Go nekton! Here's a link to an episode of To the Best of Our Knowledge from 2003--they play a clip of the song, at one point. It works very well as a round, or so I remember from grade-school music class. Creeeepy.
posted by paleography at 6:39 PM on October 25, 2006

adipocere, I haven't seen that film, but is this the song? If so, yes, definitely creepy! And the ending's great -- you get quieter and quieter, then on the last line, shout BOO!

Other ones that come to mind, besides what's already been mentioned:
-Chicken Lips and Lizard Hips (sung to the tune of Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious)
-The Littlest Worm
-Nobody Likes Me
-Grim Grinning Ghosts (from Disney's Haunted Mansion ride)
-I've always thought The Ants Go Marching sounded vaguely menacing. (I guess it's the minor key.) It'd probably be pretty easy to substitute in some more Halloween-themed lyrics.
posted by alyxstarr at 8:10 PM on October 25, 2006

There's an MP3 of the Irish Ballad (Rickity Tickity Tin) here

You can spend hours making up new and horrible verses! :)
posted by Jofus at 4:23 AM on October 26, 2006

Man, they butcher the words to Dead Dog Rover, including a second line that totally misses the meter.
Here are the "real" words—

I'm looking over
my dead dog Rover
who I overlooked before
His first leg is broken,
his second is sprained
The third I ran over with my Cocoa-puff train
and there's no need explaining
the one that's remaining
is caught in the kitchen doooooor
I'm looking over
my dead dog Rover
who I overlooked before.

(To the tune of Four Leaf Clover).
posted by klangklangston at 9:39 AM on October 26, 2006